Thank you, CNN, for this perfect example. I’ll get it right over to Ice-T4yr ⋅ dlkapt3 ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
Got this cake for $50 - had preordered - writing is cut off and sloppy, should I call to request any refund? Or is it not worth it?1yr ⋅ andropovthegreat ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
My husband wore this one for days on end! That tells you everything6mo ⋅ fh_SirLarr ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
I’m a lesbian virologist who just moved across the country so naturally my bio is “I’m gay, I study AIDS, and I’m new in town”. [X-Post /r/Tinder, just found out about this sub!!!]6yr ⋅ SecretAgentIceBat ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
Do you think that in da Vinci’s The Last Supper, that Jesus of Nazareth is sitting in front of a turkey?5yr ⋅ KoreLee ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
Unexpected Question: Aside from Bittenbinder and Jagger, what's your favorite Mulaney voice?6yr ⋅ scartol ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
If I get a plate of crack for the table will you have some?5yr ⋅ Not_Jack_Nicholson ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
“If you even fucking look at the hospital, I will stomp you to death with my hooves. I dare you to do it. I want you to do it. I want you to do it so I can stomp you with my hooves, I’m so fucking crazy.”6yr ⋅ crazicus ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
I’m full of fruit, I have a green bag, I have same day delivery, and I’m new in town.5yr ⋅ ladybrevity ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
I made my wife a poster for her birthday, and I thought y’all would like it6yr ⋅ THEJordonBrown ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
which is a bananas insulting expression, to an entire gender6yr ⋅ saltshotlimelight ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
After that, under an angel is a hero. A hero is any man who does his job.5yr ⋅ BirdLawyerPerson ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
On an unrelated note, I am gonna walk out the front door right now!6yr ⋅ CometThomas ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
People began pulling up expecting to see a 40 year old blind dog texting while driving and drinking a smoothie, instead they saw a healthy 23 year old man trying his best.6yr ⋅ GuyWIthaSexyHelmet ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
“John, that bathroom’s been closed for 40 years! Woooooooooahhhhh!”5yr ⋅ ohshitgoback ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
So apparently my bio teacher went to high school with John and she decided to project his year book pictures on the board.5yr ⋅ BearMeyer ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
From a discussion of conservatives boycotting Netflix due to Obama's takeover of the network...6yr ⋅ HephaestusHarper ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
Posted a letter I got from Bill Clinton in 1995. Did not get disappointed.6yr ⋅ atillathehunniee ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
Also make sure to chew up a tab of Alka-Seltzer beforehand to create a foaming-at-the-mouth appearance that makes it look like you have rabies.6yr ⋅ TVAnouvelles ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
Not the usual UnexpectedMulaney, but I was accepted into one of my top choice universities with a significant scholarship and my lovely neighbor sent me this this morning. Note: John’s probably never said those words but she thinks his voice is funny and knows her impressions make me laugh.4yr ⋅ officialkodos ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
The things crazy people say mean nothing to them, but everything to me5yr ⋅ AngelZiefer ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
Just showed my dad Kid Gorgeous and he sent me this while at the grocery store6yr ⋅ luckyoverIord ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
I made the exact same joke about Back to the Future on Facebook two years before The Comeback Kid (translation in comments)2yr ⋅ citabel ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney
Guests to my room are greeted by a 5ft tall autographed Mulaney billboard. It’s quite unexpected.6yr ⋅ Thissnotmeth ⋅ r/UnexpectedMulaney