Thank you for all the support! Seeing complete strangers care about my situation really warmed my heart.1yr · MufasaQuePasa · r/RoastMe
Ten years ago I purchased a $50 Groupon for professional acting headshots. The results were... unfortunate. Please destroy me for this choice.1mo · mikeyvanilli · r/RoastMe
Remember me, tumor guy? Well surgery is done and I'm still kicking and alive for everyone who's been asking for an update. Now tell me how much better off i was with the tumor.1yr · asmordious · r/RoastMe
3.2 million karma and accepted to Harvard but never kissed a girl- Roast me10mo · etymologynerd · r/RoastMe
I roasted this baby picture my Mom printed on Christmas thinking it was my uncle. Turns out, it’s me. Turn the grill up please2mo · TheHazel_Leo · r/RoastMe
46 yr old, works at a bank, no savings, don’t own a home, no retirement, but I drive a Bentley and smoke bong hits on the toilet..Give me your best shot!3mo · Herbit420 · r/RoastMe
26 years old, got my first vehicle I can drive by myself. Living my best life. What ya got?3mo · BOHICABYTHEBUFF · r/RoastMe
I did one of these 4 years ago and I bettered myself with what you all said. Help me better myself again!1wk · Boxed_Milk · r/RoastMe
I moved to Malta to be with my boyfriend. We bought a house together. We broke up. We still live together and he’s currently downstairs ‘entertaining’ female guests.10mo · BooBooMadonna · r/RoastMe
I just turned 18 but i don't look like it. My friends call me single parent.5mo · herki20 · r/RoastMe
[Update] he decided to leave me to ‘find himself’ so now I’m spending my holidays alone and debating on getting bangs. Roast me harder than you did the other one2wk · SpicyBorkBois · r/RoastMe
22 year old college student. Just found out my girlfriend was fucking another guy and I've already had a fifth of vodka today. Try your best.9mo · CmdMuffins · r/RoastMe
Desert storm veteran tougher skin then all of you millennial snowflakes do your worst...11mo · Cowboybenbob217 · r/RoastMe
20 and dying of cancer at the reddit HQ, had lunch with Spez, please tear me a new one!2yr · chrisbeta916 · r/RoastMe
Got testicular cancer twice in less than a year. Just had my second orchiectomy, no longer have balls. Cheer me up by putting me down.7mo · kasperokaspero · r/RoastMe
Roast me harder than my Turkish family already does on the daily for being unwed at the ancient age of almost 309mo · Eliyaahh · r/RoastMe
I’m an 80 year old professional stoner who forgets his Reddit Passwords. Roast me!9mo · sohighforgotpassword · r/RoastMe
I’m a lonely 4chan dweller, in college for computer engineering. I’m unsuccessfully attempting to fit in with the bitchy girls I’m surrounded with. Roast me.1mo · nobodysbusiness77897 · r/RoastMe
Autistic female community college student who is proud to sport a unibrow! I'm not scared of your roasts!6mo · PrincessLRBHSF · r/RoastMe
36, high on morphine, 2nd surgery this year, 14th total but it didn’t take a brain surgeon to tell me Epstine didn’t kill him self.2mo · WolfPanLuck · r/RoastMe
I'm a Swiss army soldier. I'm waiting for my military service to end so I can finally go to university. Roast me.1mo · Calugorron · r/RoastMe
A rock climbing accident left me with a concussion, black eye, broken nose, and sprained wrist. How much damage can you do?6mo · Sarahcro · r/RoastMe
I just got dumped, gained weight and have a fuckton to study for uni. Obliterate me.6mo · aikohoover · r/RoastMe
College girl and highschool senior that decided to do long distance after a month of dating - one month in - destroy us like plane tickets destroyed me5mo · kylebranam · r/RoastMe
25, Dyed my hair for my quarter life crisis. Going to school to become an SLP...but ironically I have a lisp.4mo · Adoorabell · r/RoastMe
I'm 18 and I've never even held hands with someone, also I'm a gamer girl. fuck my shit up2mo · cute_cloud · r/RoastMe
Had to shave my sweet beard for the fire academy. Distract me from my pain.1wk · mimsy2389 · r/RoastMe
About a year ago you guys roasted me into oblivion. Since then I've gotten a job at a movie theater. Do it again!4mo · minedgammer · r/RoastMe
Roast me! Oh, and did I mention that I just found out my wife is gay and not interested in me.1mo · Papa-Wizard · r/RoastMe
21 year old manager at a call center thinking of starting Twitch streaming. Give me what you got.2mo · satanalli · r/RoastMe
34 with big ears. Let me hear the same old jokes I have heard my whole life.7mo · Golden_Thumbs · r/RoastMe
We’ve been dating for years but people still think we are siblings - roast us more than our profs did after this semester7mo · SpicyBorkBois · r/RoastMe
Hello! I am a Hufflepuff librarian who enjoys playing Dungeons and Dragons with my friends and fiance. I have lived with Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy ever since I was ten and it has given me a sense of humour. I hope to be the next Mr. Rogers someday, so roast me and I'll toast you!1mo · C0tt0nCandyIc3Cr34m · r/RoastMe
I had to ask to lose my v-card and if I showed you my teeth it would be over. Ruin me! :D3mo · TerranasaurusWrecks · r/RoastMe
Got banned from 4chan and now I don't have anywhere to go to get bullied. It's been a week since someone told me to kill myself and I'm getting too uppity. I'm a full-time meme painter and I smell like I look.1yr · watchpaintdrytv · r/RoastMe
Local 18 y/o fake intellectual fighting writer's block. Burn it away, reddit6mo · Trashaccouuntt · r/RoastMe
I'm a journalist writing about r/Roastme. Give me some firsthand experience. Disclaimer: I'm writing about this in the article.2d · inverse · r/RoastMe
I'm 24, I just won my second ever roast battle this last Friday (link in comments) and I want to see some savagery. Do your worst, Reddit.8mo · Colonelwheel · r/RoastMe
Bored Mexican vet nurse on the night shift at work. Burn me hard so I don’t fall asleep.4mo · supersonic_seal · r/RoastMe
19 and dropped out of community college to smoke weed. I bet you can’t hurt my feelings9mo · spicyvaginataco · r/RoastMe
Ok let's get harder I am 27 years old, I am from Russia. I have a baby face and a terrible sweater, and a girl left me yesterday (not because of a sweater) Make everyone funny! (I write through Google translate)3mo · Omldus · r/RoastMe
17, broke my back jumping off an 85 foot cliff into water. My girlfriend is making me get roasted for being a dumbass1yr · Thefucklest · r/RoastMe
Trans-woman, engineer, 6'1 giant, forever alone, still listens to ska. Lost everything but my dick (november!) and my dignity - burn me to the ground.7mo · jessica_ftw · r/RoastMe
Made this all on me own today, took me 4 hours! Roast me back to ground level please.5mo · silentheory · r/RoastMe
The girl I thought I was gonna marry is currently smoking weed and fucking dudes at the college I was rejected from, make me feel worse9mo · KindlyBarbarian · r/RoastMe
28f. Used to work for the government, now I'm a sahm of 2 kids, am on antidepressants and have terrible hair! Also, I only eat plants. Roast me like falafel.4mo · littleshroom · r/RoastMe
My parents just got divorced and my abusive father disowned me and tried to kill me with his car. Swimmer, skater, physics and math major, and a disgrace to all Asians around the world. Y'all can't do shit to me 🤷🏻♂️6mo · ZachTheYek · r/RoastMe
My girlfriend doesn't believe in your roasting abilities. Proof her wrong! ;)5mo · DansendeDirk · r/RoastMe
17 years old russian with crippling depression. Give me a reason to end it all.1yr · MufasaQuePasa · r/RoastMe
Quit meth and replaced it with dumplings. Gained almost 100 lbs in a year. I don't even have a good personality to make up for it.11mo · Nonsense_Addict · r/RoastMe
My friend here is a software engineer; the only girl in the team. For some reason, she's eager to get rOaStEd!5mo · chiraggsam · r/RoastMe
My friend is selling his house, quitting his job, getting rid of everything he owns and is going to try to live a budgetted life while couch surfing. Please, please light him up.8mo · Poppyspacekitten · r/RoastMe
3 engineering roomates think your roasts are trash. Prove our brown asses wrong.2mo · king_t_Challa · r/RoastMe
22yr old ex-tweaker of 8 years fresh out of rehab, working at a gas station, finish me5mo · Deep6thatshit · r/RoastMe
the ultimate roast is us still being edgy metal heads as adults, but do your worst.1yr · coldmeats · r/RoastMe
My girlfriend just broke up with me 5 days before our 6 year annivesary! Kick me while im down!3mo · TyrawesomeRex · r/RoastMe
I [F18] just woke up. Mods made me verify my age with ID proof. Roast me harder than they already have.2mo · crtruo · r/RoastMe
Lifeguarding at an empty pool for 7 hours, give me something to laugh at6mo · SorranTheGrey · r/RoastMe
Turned 18 today, spent it crying alone in my room eating a fish burger and making a porn hub account. Please make my birthday better by gifting me your sweet sweet roasts.2mo · yourmumslefttoe · r/RoastMe
Bought 3 goats in High school for FFA project, now 22 years old still living at home taking care of them10mo · Sphamuel · r/RoastMe
We are h3h3productions, professional complainers and YouTube drama queens. Please roast us, appreciate ya.3yr · h3h3productions · r/RoastMe
As a woman working in IT, I’m used to people saying fucked up shit to me. Roast me! I can handle it!10mo · dellac · r/RoastMe
I'm 22, college educated, work out consistently, and my parents love each other, do your worst8mo · Skywalker7671 · r/RoastMe
Been growing my hair out to donate to children that have cancer. Might as well have fun? Roast me!!11mo · Big_Aymish · r/RoastMe
Biggest accomplishment of my life is a 36 on the ACT. 6 years later I’m living with my parents and working at a salad shop for minimum wage. I was sent home by a 19 year old manager for making salads too slowly. Reddit, toss my salad!8mo · Ojhumblerumble · r/RoastMe
I broke a vertebrae and have been high on hash cookies for the last six weeks. Put my pain tolerance back in check.8mo · ThunderDragn666 · r/RoastMe
25F. Im a teacher, please be more original than the things my students say behind my back!11mo · justjessthanzero · r/RoastMe
Been saving up the ugy for all of your entertainment. Roast the rest of my eyebrows off and make this worth it, will ya?3mo · Fewd4Thot · r/RoastMe
23 years old. Can't get a job because I refuse to change my hair. Had a dream last night that I shit my pants while trying to initiate sex.4mo · theflowerintheattic · r/RoastMe
27, full-time cake decorator, obligatory long time lurker first time poster. So please do your worst Reddit! 🤣9mo · Aquamarine-3MJ-1W2N · r/RoastMe
My lovely GF just took 30 pictures because she wanted to look perfect on her roastme shot. Give her your best reddit.9mo · nothingsimilar · r/RoastMe
22, I have 3 cats and get paid to watch anime/ lurk on reddit (receptionist) entertain me with your insults10mo · touchmylumps · r/RoastMe
Other than my wig falling apart, tell me why I was right about quitting cosplay.6mo · Uncosample · r/RoastMe
Married / 42 / permenantly pissed off! Do your worst! I've probably heard your shit before.1yr · 4letterwordsmith · r/RoastMe
My 7th grader got made fun of at school today. He didn't want to tell me because he thought I might not understand. Reddit, please help me show him how to take the burn!4mo · Nater84 · r/RoastMe
Fairly successful (21 M), just finished building my own home and am a fully qualified Baker at age 19. Kids on the block call me FIGJAM, bet you can't take down this powerhouse of win.1yr · Regi3Au · r/RoastMe
My coworkers and I got to dress up. I made it easy for you!! Ruin my Halloween.2mo · dg327 · r/RoastMe
Toast me bitches. Please avoid fat jokes unless they are original, I’ve heard them all.6mo · SDmedia9 · r/RoastMe
Headed to a friends wedding & feeling super vulnerable bc of it... finish me5mo · kimboism · r/RoastMe
Just got a nose job so I can breathe through it for the first time in my life, and I’m bored in my room at midnight. Keep me entertained and do your worst reddit!8mo · Pewter_Penguin · r/RoastMe
24 years old and 12 days post heart transplant. They say laughter can make a bad situation better. Give it to me!4mo · paulcain95 · r/RoastMe
18m 6'3 Norwegian who loves kittens and death metal, in that order. Been a while since I've seen a good roast on here, so why don't y'all try a bit harder for this one?2wk · gitartruls01 · r/RoastMe
I only listen to 80s new wave and failed a semester of algebra. Roast me into oblivion.1yr · Pixigon · r/RoastMe
18 y/o just got ghosted by the first guy I have had genuine feelings for. Let’s see if you can wreck me like he did.7mo · ParkesAndRecreation · r/RoastMe
