HOORAY I AM BORNED!
To the Redditor who rear-ended his girlfriend's dad before meeting him, I feel your awkwardness.
MRW I find out r/TrollYChromosome is a thing now and they aim to be funnier than us one day.
Ever wonder how you evacuate babies from a hospital during an emergency? Well, this is how. No -- seriously.
As a 5'1 person trying to reach the cookies on the top shelf way up thurr.
When I'm 37 and I wake up with a hickey on my neck and realize my tween prayers were answered.
My brother's friend's fiancee sent this letter out to all his wedding guests to make them feel better about their upcoming Christian marriage. I don't think it worked.
A golden wedding ring inscribed in Hebrew with the words Behold, you are consecrated unto me. Recently unearthed near a buried gas chamber by archaeologists at Sobibor Nazi death camp in Poland. [460x276]
Love Poetry, TrollX Style
When you're sitting and your fart decides to travel up the front door instead of the back.
MRW I complain of a backache and my SO's mom basically asks if it's because her son sexed me too hard.
My SO's Italian mother is very attached to him. Every time I see her she serves me huge plates of food and sends me home with delicious cookies.
My seduction game is strong.
MRW my SO borrows my car b/c his is in the shop, and he returns it completely vacuumed and armor-alled, with new car mats and a full tank of gas.
My reaction when my SO goes to smack my ass during doggy style but stops himself because his mother has recently moved in and she might hear it.
Aging in your 30s can be a real bitch.
MRW my SO's 88lb. mom calls me chunky, and says our kids would be chunky.
When my SO suggests we take time during date night to visit my sick mother in the hospital and he gives her a hug and a peck.
Travelocity: Save 12% off participating Hotels at Travelocity with Promo Code: TravelocitySave12. Book by 1/31/2018.
When I give my SO one of my super awesome scalp massages he be like -- (x-post from r/gifs)
MRW Reddit gets an enthusiastic hard-on for beating women and the subject makes the front page more than once and for a moment I think about posting a response in the comments.
I make the sweetest pillow talk sometimes...
TrollY brothers from across the way, I imagine you as the big head mohawk guy in this cartoon.
Hey r/atheism, some people suggested I cross-post this fubar letter my brother received from his friend's fiancee about their pending Christian wedding so here you go. (x/post from TwoX)
MRW I find out my mom has cancer and I'm going to be a first-time aunt all in the same week.
When I forget to put on my sports bra before my FocusT25 time.
Inspired by a comment in my post yesterday -- I present to r/TrollX: Meemaw and Aunt Rose!
My SO's reaction when I rolled over in bed and put my cold butt on him for warmth.
When my SO is downtown and it's so good I'm accidentally suffocating him with my thighs. [90s Version]
TrollY wants more Lebowski in their subreddit, but this Lebowski belongs here.
Vv Viscius pupper toofers!
We did it! Planned our backyard wedding in two months for about $3k total -- and I got my dress off of ETSY and it was gorgeous! A beautiful day :-)
Didn't quite think it through...
When, after wishing her a Happy Mother's Day, terrible future MIL says I should thank her because without her, my SO would have never been born.
Not unless it buys me dinner first.
[IFF] So this happened last night! I'm 38 and we met online and hes the best thing to happen to me -- miracles happen trolls!
MRW two of my best friends are in a stupid fight with each other.
When my SO's mother tells me she suggested he buy me lingerie for V-Day
MRW trying to save money and my favorite online clothing retailer tempts me with a random $25 coupon, then offers me another $25 coupon as a way of thanking me for buying more shit.
Dear Reddit: I'm having some woman trouble. Could use some advice before I go crazy and start choppin' heads.
I ordered this in Panda, but he shipped it in Grizzly in stead (FWP).
I literally had the bag in my hand...
As a woman, I never know how to respond to this kind of self-deprecation. Am I supposed to express agreement here or what?
My friends thought this Onion article was real and were outraged.
Different ways to arrange a set of pushers... (not sure where my derby sister got this, but it's a great graphic for the uninitiated).
As the father of female puffins....
I've been cooking a lot for my mom since she was diagnosed with stage IV cancer. Roast chicken is her favorite.
One day you'll be old and need someone to wipe your ass too.