Celebrating Christmas with my wife’s family when suddenly...
At my local grocery store...
My kids came in and told me there was water coming from the laundry room. They said it looked like it started at the washer. I rushed in to find this. Buncha comedians in my house...
Experts recommend keeping your daily rituals even while working from home
My cousin wanted cake and ordered one. Told the bakers to write whatever they wanted because it was for just for her anyways, so...
Bill Burr on Good Day NY, sharp as ever.
The conversation my son and I will have on Christmas Eve.
Got this big roll of toilet paper as a gag gift for Christmas. Whose laughing now!?
Sacrifices must be made
I took a few shots at Lake Louise today and Google offered me this panorama:
News outlet in Canada is taping their microphones to hockey sticks to maintain social distance.
I had to cut down a tree in my yard and now I feel bad
Jeff, the Origin
My friend was stopped by some tourists to take a photo of them in front of an advertisement for Tape Face in Las Vegas... My friend IS Tape Face.
Spanish Flu, 1918. Family Portrait.
Updated Tokyo Olympic Games logo
History professor teaches about the first man in space.
My quarantine birthday is going well.
Bollywood at it finest.
My dog isn’t used to me being home during the day and is just staring at me from different places around the house.
THERE IS NOTHING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW
My cab driver tonight was so excited to share with me that he’d made the cover of the calendar. I told him I’d help let the world see
Guardians of the Front Page
Don't mess with this guy
Mr. Wang has had enough.
Magicians are nothing without their assistant
Two police cars managed to crash into each other in the currently empty streets of Milan
Lately I've been having a craving for grilled cheese, then I noticed my calendar and it all made sense.
My sister’s school health clinic may need some emoji-education
My daughter always steals printer paper to draw on so for Christmas I wrapped a pack of 500 pages of paper. She started running around screaming with excitement. Easiest present ever.
After a two week search, I finally found my remote.
My kid did this portrait of me over 10 years ago. I still look the same, IMO.
This lady is out getting supplies.
Surprising move from the referee.
Citizen of Golden, CO (home of Coors and about a dozen other breweries) was upset people drink beer in their town.
If there's a single line of footprints in the snow I like to walk on the opposite step to make it look like one person was hopping
My wife does planks around the house and I come home to this absolute unit of a son.
I get an email every time I get a package delivered to my apartment’s mailroom. It’s supposed to be a photo of the label, but there’s this one guy...
did I waste my life
I do not volunteer as Tribute.
Not sure if I should be proud or concerned. My daughter said “He’s got the RONA!!!” And started making him a coffin.
Segway announces new stroller for adults. Where have I seen this before?
Ryan Reynolds thought he was attending a sweater party.
The sign at the pizza place I go to
So my friend went to the DMV on Halloween...
Sent picture of my kids (left) to the wrong number and their (right) response was....
Gotta get them all confused from an early age
My blind friend got engaged yesterday....he’s pretty sure.
Cone of Shame
It’s called quarantine coffee. It’s just like normal coffee but it has a margarita in it and also no coffee.
Spent 10 minutes snapping pics of my wife so she could have 'the perfect sexy Instagram photo.' When she was finally happy I asked her to return the favour. We got this beauty in one take.
The Getty is challenging quarantined people to recreate their favorite paintings with household items.
In Minnesota, we like to play a game called am I on the road?
I could see how this could be taken out of context...
Finally redone correctly.
A Dog's Wish
The trash can.
I design ridiculous product ideas for fun, so I designed a pair of jeans with one giant pocket across the butt for all your essentials.
14 Year Wedding Anniversary. Can't go out to celebrate. This happens.
Today on reddit
Today was Meme Day at my old high school for homecoming week. I appreciate this science teacher even more now.
My response to people telling me to Draw popular things if you want to get famous
Is it just me, or is Tom Cruise beginning to look like a middle aged lesbian?
A domestic breed
My window cracked so I fixed it the only way I know how
Welcome to Calculus 101
A house in my hometown is making good use of their quarantine time
Different societies prioritize different things. The tea aisle in a London supermarket.
My 4 year old niece can't read and bought me this birthday card because it featured 'a cute dog with a party hat'
Living in an apartment
Jennifer Aniston’s first Instagram post has the photo quality of 1999.
Free Anti-Virus Software
No toilet paper? No problem!
Pinky and the Brain
Our AirBnB had a translucent bathroom door. I’m used to my impatient toddler stalking me through the bathroom door, but this took it to a much creepier level.
Sister-in-law orders a Japanese whiskey for me every Christmas. I don’t think she read the description this time when she shipped me a $50 bottle of soy sauce.
Minnesota's finest responding to noise complaint ends in epic Super Smash Brothers competition
The real issues:
s i m u l a t i o n