Super Bowl joKe
Was Angela Bassett involved?
🍑 peach cobbler 🍑
Arnold says he should have stayed home today
Don’t mention cigars please
Ooooooh ... fraternal. I get it
Oh man ... that hits hard.
Nobody tell him about cocktails
For now ...
Uber driver: same
Does anyone hear speak jive?
I’m past that age and approaching the “he lived a good life” age.
Done outta dick
*Jaws music starts playing*
And Mexico is gonna pay for it
Satan probably has some thoughts but I think his Twitter account is currently suspended
Father’s belt size in inches?
If people in the TV listened, certain politicians would have burst into flames and gone directly to hades a long time ago
Jimmy Olsen walks in... “I like the new table”
So, we’re still doing this?
Better this than Gunk Shot
Satan and death
“And she won’t let me be the race car.”
Watch credits or next episode?
Kinda funny-sad rather than funny haha
Yo mama so smart, you don’t need therapy but ...
Massive semen explosion
Let minnow if you have a better fish pun
Found your problem .... plugged the usb into the hdmi port
I don’t know the answer to this question
Walmarts in Florida are still on the list
And wears Vibram five finger shoes
I thought it was walking into the party and yelling wooooooo
Actually the bassist from blink-182
Threatened by foo? Not even once
They could offer a Peggy-ing
Peter, you ignorant slut
They were probably rapping Ice Ice Baby
Thank you Chrissy Tiegen for saying what needed to be said ...
I got hufflepuff. Is that right?
Be sure to catch the last train to Clarksville
I get it. Don’t want your feet to get cold.
Hide the fanny pack!!!
Mine is an Ice T album
My assets were frozen ... global warming?
I would have gone with Sherman, but I like this too ...
My mom says I can’t come out and pay my taxes
Someone has some ‘splainin to do
Do they read the Bee-ble?
I would think you would get splinters
Did the dicks explode?
Or, like a BJ from my wife
Dating girls in their twenties is like overpaying for a new iPhone
More funny sad than funny haha
Have we ever decided if it was okay to wish for more wishes?
The master has gone away
Maybe cuz Obama woulda used there
Are you Vin Diesel?
Woah ... George goes at Kellyanne in public
Was Young MC driving?
Can’t be worse than Pitbull’s
I like it at the disco so I can come dancing.
Beat to death in Tucson...
$40 million according to Twitter
But did it happen on May 4th?
I before E, except ... when sounded as A, as in neighbor and weigh
And going to bed early is not a punishment
Could be a reality tv show too
I'm begging of you please don't take my man
r/murderedbywords took it down. Maybe you guys can appreciate it
And you never see pretty women reading vampire books.
My mental ability can be seen by the fact that I reach for my glasses on my head daily when they aren’t there
You know you wouldn’t want it any other way [spoilers???]
I think you have to watch the nightly news to get this
Shithole polling places
Frequency and velocity?
If he says ‘yeet,’ I’m moving to Canada.
Better living through capitalism
What about the steaks?
Perhaps she offers encourag mint to him to resign.
I have something to tell you about the 60s song “yummy yummy, I’ve got love in my tummy”
Today years old
You were probably on top with your version Taft
Say what one more time ...
Any 80s kids out there to get this?
How does Kelly Clarkson feel about it?
They seem to looking for it in an alphabet pattern.
In other news, the stigmata on a Christ statue bled marinara sauce.
And drink that imaginary tea
Or the killer farting
What about Jermaine?
Who has ever said Smurf lives don’t matter?