Sir, six cinder blocks are missing. There’ll be no hospital then. I’ll tell the children.9mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Bait? You call it “bait. “ I like that. What you looking to spend? Well, I got $20. $20 will get you all the bait you need Jack10mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/KingOfTheHill
Me!? Get a job? Were they serious? I didn't realize it at the time, but a little bit of my childhood had slipped away...9mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.9mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Hello, is this President Clinton? Good! I figured if anyone knew where to get some Tang, it'd be you. SHUT UP!10mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Attention Marge Simpson, your son has been arrested... Attention Marge Simpson, we have also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.8mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Oh, and one more thing. You must find the jade monkey... Before the next full moon.9mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I do believe I'll give room service a jangle and have them send up some Etouffee10mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/KingOfTheHill
Remember when I used to push you on the swing? I was faking it. Liar! Oh, yeah? Remember this? Higher, Dad. Higher!10mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
And that's how, with a few minor adjustments, you can turn a regular gun into five guns.9mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
He slept. He stole. He was rude to the customers. Still... there goes the best damned employee a convenience store ever had.10mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Prostitution, loan-sharking, numbers; the kid liked to wet his beak in everything.9mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Yeah sure, and they told me I'd get a big parade when I got back from 'Nam. Instead, they spat on me. I can still feel it searing...9mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I can tell the difference between butter and 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter'9mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Yeah, so last night I was closing up the bar, when some young punk comes in and tries to stick me up. “Whatever did you do, Moe?”Well, it coulda been a real ugly situation, but I managed to shoot him in the spine.10mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
This is it, Homer. It’s time to tell her the terrible secret from your past. Marge, i ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom.9mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
All right. Let's go over this one more time, just to make sure I understand the situation. You're a girl?9mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
IN AMERICA, FIRST YOU GET THE SUGAR, THEN YOU GET THE POWER, THEN YOU GET THE WOMEN11mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
So, another Friday is upon us. What will you be doing, Smithers? Something gay no doubt?10mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
That's it! I'll make money with a chauffeur job. Good thing you turned on that TV Lisa11mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Um, Marge, just about everything is a sin. Y’ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not allowed to go to the bathroom.10mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
*sniff* There's some milk in the fridge that's about to go bad... and there it goes.10mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/KingOfTheHill
Homer! Come quick! Bart’s quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!9mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Whatcha doin there Bill? Satellite dish trouble? Bill: Nah I'm just up here to kill myself.10mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/KingOfTheHill
But it says, Good for one free beer at Moe's! This is Moe's Tavern, isn't it? No....This is...Boe's Cavern.9mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Hello, Police? This is Marge Simpson. My husband is on a murderous rampage. Over.9mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
The other day, I was so desperate for a beer, I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.10mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread with lettuce and mustard and AND I don't want any zombie turkeys I don't want to turn into a turkey myself and I don't want any other weird surprises, you got it?10mo ⋅ Changeszs ⋅ r/TheSimpsons