“So, what kind of weather do you have in Alabama?” Me: “All of it. Usually on the same day.” Nov 2018 ⋅ @ALostrich
If you buy these rings you are legally obligated to name your child McKinsleigh or Braxtyn. Mar 2019 ⋅ @ALostrich
If we can put a man on the moon, surely we can invent a TV that mutes only Gary Danielson. Nov 2018 ⋅ @ALostrich
🎶 I’m gonna take my horse down to Sonic row. I’m gonna grab a cherry limeade to go. 🎶 Apr 2019 ⋅ @ALostrich
Thanks, Walmart, for the subtle reminder that Easter is approaching and Jesus died for Dew. Mar 2018 ⋅ @ALostrich
If you ever feel unhealthy just remember Jasper’s Medical Plaza has a liquor store. Jul 2018 ⋅ @ALostrich
O Christmas ‘nader, O Christmas ‘nader. How lovely are thy polygons. (via @MadameOvary) Nov 2018 ⋅ @ALostrich
Huntsville: “We are the capital of innovation and technology in Alabama.” Montgomery: “Oh, yeah? Check this out... Aug 2018 ⋅ @ALostrich
“Guess how will Fox & Friends will cover this breaking news” is my new favorite game. Jan 2019 ⋅ @ALostrich
Side effects may include: neck tattoos, wearing sunglasses indoors, and a modified ‘98 Honda Civic. Nov 2018 ⋅ @ALostrich
BREAKING: Alabama Dept of Education releases updated list of inappropriate activities. Aug 2018 ⋅ @ALostrich
The one traffic light in Oakman isn’t working and the Dollar General is without power. This is how it ends. Jul 2018 ⋅ @ALostrich
There’s either okra for sale here or Alabama is getting a Sea World. (via @JtiffBama98) Jul 2018 ⋅ @ALostrich