This is it.
I just want grandchildren.
Just don't think about them.
I guess it doubles my options for Valentines.
A more fun game.
I expect a trophy for this.
I wish I was joking.
Believe me, I know.
None of them will see this because they don't have internet.
I mean, just because I haven't heard of it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
You can use this for your annoying friends on Facebook!
The facts are not usually that fun.
Give her what she really wants for Valentine's Day.
A fun trick to use at parties!
So if someone wants to fill me in that would be great.
Death and Taxes
Maybe this will get me pity!
Until they start forcing people to.
Or three of them.
A habit I continue to this very day.
And definitely care if they ever get back.
Come at me.
Or lotion salesman.
Or steal someone else's.
Creating a paradox.
If I had a dollar...
I should find new friends.
But if I guess ten trillion times I will get it anyway!
Or ask what's for dinner.
Oh... it's the same ones.
It's still true though.
And then I'd get into a fight about how no one understands me.
There's an easy line about Juicy Fruit there somewhere.
I took a trip to New York and decided to spread my own brand of anarchy.
I might be a bad friend.
I need validation somehow.
1. Gives into peer pressure too easily.
In a movie about trying to change your body too.
Praying for him just because.
If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times!
Getting Over Your Fears
Someone should write a song with that name.
Emotions make me feel neutral.
I'm a manager. Have you seen Horrible Bosses?
The darkest joke.
I got nothin' in my brain.
Asking the tough questions.
They're not really at arms length.
Also your funding is cut.
Bringing out my inner feminist.
This could describe a lot of people here...
It's not very effective in any case.
Well sure I'll work overtime!
Or morgues and obituaries.
They'll burn either way.
Or commit some so they get paid more.
Do you not not not want me to hurt you?
I am confident in how large that number is.
I'm well aware it won't work.
The Golden Rule
But what is self?
I am both.
Or run for office!