Can we talk about Joey Foo and his wife Sammie?

3wk ⋅ ⋅

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Only my dogs are allowed in this public space!

4mo ⋅

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Made my own birthday cake this year! German Chocolate.

4yr ⋅

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Actually it's several rocks. In my purse

8yr ⋅

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Target is overrated anyway.

8yr ⋅

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Bed sharing is a beautiful thing.

8yr ⋅

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Actually the whole third trimester can kiss my ass.

8yr ⋅

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Rules of the Dinner Table: Toddler Edition

8yr ⋅

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Bingo! What's my prize? More guilt? Crap.

8yr ⋅

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Five years might be too soon.

8yr ⋅

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At least put the other sock on.

8yr ⋅

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Boys.

8yr ⋅

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I call it killing two birds with one stone.

8yr ⋅

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Pockets.

8yr ⋅

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Even more likely to happen after a glass or 5 of wine.

8yr ⋅

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Everything you need to know about the toddler years.

8yr ⋅

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My exercise routine.

8yr ⋅

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Yes, let me drop everything and carry your stupid stick.

8yr ⋅

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Safety first!

8yr ⋅

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Two day road trip soon. This is genius.

8yr ⋅

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Where's the condoms and tissues? That's what they really want.

8yr ⋅

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I mean, you can't really get mad.

8yr ⋅

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I dare you.

8yr ⋅

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Someone should of said this to 18 year old me.

8yr ⋅

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Why I love Etsy.

8yr ⋅

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You mean this thing has no instruction manual?

8yr ⋅

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While hiding in the pantry

8yr ⋅

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My crazy night.

8yr ⋅

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Should just shave my head.

8yr ⋅

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White Chocolate Ghost Cookies

11yr ⋅

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And at least one pacifier.

8yr ⋅

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I'm kind of ashamed he went for it.

11yr ⋅

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He was due today, but has been here a week. Dax Hunter born 9/18.

9yr ⋅

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Every time we go to Target.

8yr ⋅

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Go the fuck to sleep.

8yr ⋅

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Four month sleep regression is real, yo.

8yr ⋅

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MRW my five month old has crapped for the third time this morning and it's only 8am.

8yr ⋅

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You figured it out, Max.

8yr ⋅

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Delete all the history!

8yr ⋅

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Max has been messaging me.

9yr ⋅

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Second only to Bill Gates!

8yr ⋅

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Max Announces HumanityOS, but that logo seems familiar.

10yr ⋅

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Kinda sweet...but also creepy, especially since I have no clue who wrote it.

11yr ⋅

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The Constitution of the Human Race.

8yr ⋅

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September 13, 2016 @ noon!

9yr ⋅

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Because girls don't poop?

9yr ⋅

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Max Makes a Meme.

9yr ⋅

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Max releases a new video! Oh wait...nope. Same video as before.

9yr ⋅

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