u/throwawaygal1980

90 results (0.04 seconds)

Ads · Popular Cams

Somehow I forgot a bra? This will make for an uncomfortable team meeting. (F, 40, married, 2 kids, loves leading meetings, very forgetful.)

3yr ⋅ ⋅

Somehow I forgot a bra? This will make for an uncomfortable team meeting. (F, 40, married, 2 kids, loves leading meetings, very forgetful.)

Circuit city is closing! Where am I going to get my ink from now?

3yr ⋅

⋅

Self care is important during a pandemic. Well that’s what I’m going with. (F, 39, married, 2 medium sized kids, generally exhausted from going nowhere, appreciates her Honda Odyssey.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

I’m taking a break from posting to move-just what this stressed mom needs during a pandemic. But I will be back in a few weeks. Survive without me, please. In the meantime, here is something to tide you over. (F, 39, married, 2 kids, will miss you horny fuckers.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

This dress has a gap in a very inopportune place. I apologize. [F], 39, married, 2 kids, very accident prone.

4yr ⋅

⋅

I’m just a mom waiting in her car for socially distant karate to be done. Keep calm and carry on. (F, 39, married, 2 hyper kiddos, an actual paying job that I’m failing at, secret Reddit poster, and car flasher.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

Today was the shittiest day of all days. Quarantining with your family while trying to work full time should be banned. Who’s with me? (F, 39, married, 2 loudass kids, non productive WFH-er, may never leave the shower.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

Merry Xmas all your horny dads! Thanks for spending your quarantine with me this whole year. I’ve really enjoyed it. (F, 40, married, 2 kids, needs a nap.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

I’m 40 today! I celebrated by twisting my ankle, moving houses, unpacking, entertaining kids with no internet, and fighting with my entire family! Moving during a pandemic is more fun than usual. Happy birthday to me! (Find the 🍑)

3yr ⋅

⋅

This picture is brought to you by the pandemic shitshow that is my life. I literally did not have 1 minute to myself before now. Every zoom meeting, meal, exercise class was interrupted by a child of my own making. (F, 39, married, 2 parasites, loves her Honda Odyssey quiet time.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

Chaturbate: Come and play right now!

Now ⋅

My husband dropped off the children this morning. I’m alone? I’m so confused I don’t know what to do with myself. (F, 39, married, 2 kids, doesn’t remember beforetimes.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

I just need 4.8 minutes at the “store.” - Annabel, 39, wife, mom, chef, chauffeur, mask wrangler, tech support, mediocre WFH-er, edible consumer.

4yr ⋅

⋅

I’m literally just a mom trying to avoid her family and attempting to increase her serotonin levels. Fyi: there is no such thing as screen time limits during an apocalypse. (F, 39)

4yr ⋅

⋅

Shit. My shirt is on in the shower. I was so excited about the privacy that I forgot to disrobe. (F, 40, married, 2 very attached kids, no alone time, memory problems.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Everyone be quiet. I have a meeting. With my vibrator. I mean, a very important client. My sanity. (F, 39, married, 2 demanding mini tyrants, constantly exhausted even though I am going nowhere, and completely inefficient WFH-er)

4yr ⋅

⋅

For fuck’s sake, all I ask for is 1 hour of uninterrupted Pilates to replenish my dwindling serotonin levels. Send rescue drones stat. (F, 39, 1 husband, 2 parasites, needs quiet & an orgasm)

4yr ⋅

⋅

This is appropriate drop off wear, right? Definitely no one will notice in the car line. (F, 39, married, loves dropping off her 2 kids at actual school, actually has her tongue in cheek.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

I had to escape my prison, I mean, get milk. And I seem to have forgotten panties. The inmates are not good at laundry. (F, 39, cellmates with 1 grumpy husband, 2 bored kiddos, not enough silverware, piles of laundry, and no silence.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

Getting my daily dose of serotonin to make it through Day 92937464543 of quarantine, subpar WFH, fake home schooling, and general adulting. (F, 39, married, 2 electronic addicted kiddos, and all the dirty dishes.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

Why haven’t I posted? Unpacking, ankle is still busted, trying to sell the old house, handling contractors to improve the new one, & the usual kid bullshit of feeding, schooling & making sure they don’t die. (F, 40, married, 2 alive kids, figuratively dead, realistically sarcastic, loves baths.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Sometimes everything matches. (F, 40, married, 2 kids, shhhh it was an accident, too tired to match on purpose.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

It is the first day of school. Yes, my kids are going in person. It’s only a half day, but fuck it, I’m celebrating. What I should do? (F, 39, married, husband is dropping off the 2 kids, I’m alone for the first time in months, wear your mask so they can keep going to school or I will cut you.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

This is a 40 year old ass. How can I prove it? Who else would do this in the 3rd row of a Honda Odyssey surrounded by empty water bottles, a Mario bag, and goldfish remnants? (F, 40, married, 2 messy kids, still trying to bring up the mean age on this sub.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

I’m finally free. Kids are in school “for the first time in forever.” Do not fuck this up for me people. It’s finally silent and I can masturbate in peace. Wear your mask, be responsible. If my kids have to do homeschooling, I’m sending them to your house. (F, 39, married, done with superspreaders.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

I clean the 3rd row of the minivan, only to have my undergarments thrown askew. (F, 40, married, 2 very loud children, this really is the only quiet place I have.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

I took a drive to get away from my family. Your welcome. Mostly I parked. Alone. For silence. (F, 40, married, 2 loud children, should have taken a nap instead.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

It looks like when I’m on my knees, my tits pop out and my mouth opens. Strange and awkward during Pilates. (F, 39, married, 2 kids, googling Pavlov.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Apparently the pandemic is over. But for those with kids under 12? We are still stuck inside. More. With the same people. For more time. So while you eat out inside & swap spit with non family members, have a drink for me. (F, 40, married, 2 kids, still hate everyone, bored enough to post again.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Today is already a shitshow. I opened the fridge and 7 layer dip fell on me and all over the floor. Somehow no one knows anything about it. I still had to make 2 packed lunches after cleaning. It’s only 8:30. (F, 39, married, 2 kids under 10, they don’t need to eat everyday do they?)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Oh just wearing my French maid’s outfit while making the bed at the fancy hotel I booked for my staycation. Nothing to see here. (F, 39, married, 2 kids, finally got away and is still cleaning.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

I’m so sorry. I dropped my mask and something fell out. [F, 39, quarantined with a husband, 2 parasites, slow WiFi, not enough booze, and dwindling sanity.]

4yr ⋅

⋅

Send thoughts and prayers. Tomorrow is the last day of school. I’m trying to bring up my serotonin levels to prepare. (F, 40, married, 2 kids, a long summer ahead, needs a helping 🤚 or 🍆.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Chaturbate: Come and play right now!

Now ⋅

Looking for something that may fit here. Taking suggestions. (F, 40, married, 2 kids, underutilized mouth, defective buttons.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

First meeting of pandemic parent support group commence. My name is Annabel and I’m 39. I have been quarantined for 8274737454 days with a grumpy husband, 2 hungry tech addicted kiddos, and no alone time. Meeting requirements: little to no clothing, your erect cock, and complaints. I’m starting.

4yr ⋅

⋅

I apologize for my unprofessionalism. This never happens. (F, 39, married, 2 kids, normally a very serious zoomer, but just finished Pilates when you called.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

What do old ladies do on Saturday night? Organize their lingerie drawer, of course. (F, 40, married, 2 kids, still trying to raise the mean age of the sub, lacy bra hoarder.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Popping out to say I’m still alive, stressed, and packing for the move. Kisses. See you mid November. Hopefully we will all be better then. (F, 39, married, 2 kids at school, fitting in zoom meetings in between unhoarding, tits still make an appearance in the minivan occasionally.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Fuck you 2020. End scene. (F, 39, married, 2 kids, still quarantined, this movie sucks, I want a refund.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Everyone is finally asleep and the house is quiet. What should I do? (F, 39, exhausted, married, mom of 2 mini dictators, marketer by day, and laundry avoider at night.

4yr ⋅

⋅

I finally had a minute to do Pilates and I was interrupted by a child. It’s dark as fuck outside. I’m running for president on a platform of free tits, uninterrupted meetings, and DST is evil. (F, 40, married, 2 kids, busted ankle, a million boxes that need unpacking, and a constant headache.

3yr ⋅

⋅

My right tit just popped by to say Hi! First time poster to the sub. (F, 40, married, 2 kids, had nowhere to hide except her minivan.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

I took a drive to Costco to get the fuck out of my prison. Er, I mean house. I requested a transfer, but no one will look at my paperwork. (F, 39, cell mates with a grumpy husband, 2 hyper kids, a demanding job, and no privacy.) Meet me at the parking lot NOW!

4yr ⋅

⋅

I hit 1k followers! This frazzled 39 year old working mom would like to thank the academy, the pandemic, my one friend who knows about this secret account, and thirsty Reddit folks like yourself for helping me hit this arbitrary milestone.

4yr ⋅

⋅

I’m having trouble getting my sourdough to rise in the oven. Any suggestions? (F, 39, married, 2 perpetually starving kiddos, loves being naked, and realizes the more she learns about sourdough - the less she knows.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

It’s plaid time in New England again. (F, 40, married, 2 kids, freezing cold, is very flexible.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Let’s get this hump day started on a high note. When your home is your prison, you need all the happiness you can get. (F, 39, married, 2 kiddos under 10, mediocre WFH-er, closet Zoomer, 5 minute self orgasm stealer.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

Oh hi there. Just working from home with NO KIDS IN THE HOUSE. Want to join my zoom meeting? (F, 39, married, 2 kids who went to irl school, had actual meetings without being interrupted.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Here’s what a 40 year old ass looks like. Thought I might increase the mean age of this sub by 15 points. (F, 40, married, 2 kids, loves statistics.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

It’s a Monday! I’m headed to the mountains for some family time, just in case we haven’t had enough in quarantine. I’m leaving you with this pic, because in a few hours I will have even less privacy & slower internet. Pray for me. (F, 39, not looking forward to actually driving her minivan.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Apparently it is Tuesday? I have no idea. Let’s just get this Quarantine Day 293737299255 started on a high note. It’s really only downhill from here. (F, 39, married, 2 perpetually hungry kids, closet zoom meeting-er, shitty homemaker, secret Reddit poster, science believer.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

Just a mom hanging out in the back of her minivan. Carry on. (F, 39, semi tinted windows in her Honda Odyssey)

4yr ⋅

⋅

My favorite part of the day is when the kids are asleep and I take everything off. Bras and panties are overrated. Thank fuck Quarantine Day 27386428294737 is over. Tomorrow we start over. (F, 39, married, 2 hopefully sleeping kids, went nowhere but exhausted.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

Question: Does this count as underwear? Asking for a friend. [F], 39, married, 2 kids, inquisitive.

4yr ⋅

⋅

I’m very disappointed in this bra. It can’t hold my tits. They keep escaping and they are small. (F, 40, married, 2 kids, old and tired enough to complain about quality in manufacturing and also yell at kids to get off my lawn.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Ooops. My tit fell out while doing Pilates in my yard. (F, 39, hiding outside from my husband and kids, has inopportune wardrobe malfunctions, loves her neighbors.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

It’s Friday & time to reflect on the fact that kids under 12 won’t be vaccinated until winter! Yeah! My life will be the same for the next 6 months. Again. Here are some tits to feel better. (F, 40, 2 kids under 12, hate literally everyone, I’ve seen this show before and it doesn’t end well.)

2yr ⋅

⋅

Why change something that’s working? Additional data analysis still points to the conclusion that panties in mouth with red lipstick combined with tits out produces the most interaction. (F, 39, hides from her husband & 2 parasites in her minivan, loves A/B tests.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

It seems like my panties slipped off in the backseat of my minivan. I could use some assistance. (F, 39, married, 2 littles, finds the back of the odyssey spacious.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

Congrats! We survived to the 73728254th quarantine Sunday with our families. At this point in this apocalyptic video game, I feel we should level up or we won’t make it. What character upgrades are you getting? (F, 39, married, 2 loud ass kids, buying the everyone shut up package & a new vibrator.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

Remember to take care of yourself during a global pandemic. (F, 39, married, 2 rambunctious kids, no privacy except in her Honda Odyssey.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

I think it is [F]riday. Not that it means anything. I may spend extra time in the Costco parking lot avoiding my prison, I mean home. No wait, I meant prison. (F, 39, married, shitty kid wrangler, WFH failure, amazing procrastinator.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

Goodness, I’m not sure why this keeps happening. But at least the tits have their mask on? (F, 39, married, 2 kids, tiny tits that keep trying to escape.)

4yr ⋅

⋅

I’d like to request a transfer for my quarantine roommates. They suck. I understand they are my family, but I’m done. I’m interviewing replacement quarantine candidates. Please be over 18, not my children, and currently married to me. EOC - any age, race, sexual orientation are welcome. (F, 39)

4yr ⋅

⋅

So based on yesterday’s data collection, non frilly panties in mouth with more clothes and red lips did NOT provide more interaction than lacy panties in mouth with a bra and purple lips. Maybe it’s the panties? Today’s test: same panties, red heels, and bare legs. Let’s science together.

4yr ⋅

⋅

Just taking a socially distant break from my family. Alone. In my minivan. With 5g porn. 39, [F]

4yr ⋅

⋅

I can’t seem to control these tits from falling out. Perhaps I need to get them trained? Does anyone have experience training 2 size 34C tits? (F, 40, married, 2 kids, thinks crowd sourcing medical advice is a good idea.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Chaturbate: Come and play right now!

Now ⋅

It’s 6 days before Xmas and this elf is putting together her naughty and nice list. (F, married, 2 kids on the naughty list, hates wrapping, loves bells.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Do white T-shirts need a bra? (F, 40, married, 2 kids, crowd sources fashion advice, hates summer vacation, loves wet t shirts.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

So my tits are at it again. Both plopped out right after my 3rd zoom call. Usually they wait until the 4th, but I suppose they were antsy. (F, 39, married, 2 kids, hopes her tits retreat before the 4th meeting, requires assistance to keep them contained.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Sorry, am I late to the wet t shirt contest? (F), 40.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Have you noticed it’s been rainy lately? (F, 40, married, 2 kids, believes it is global warming, needs to wear bras.)

2yr ⋅

⋅

Who wants to wait with me in the minivan during soccer practice? I’ve run out of things to watch on Netflix. (F, 40, married, 2 sporty kids, needs minivan compatible activity ideas.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

An interesting development in my quest to understand my escaping tits. Instead of coming out the top, they are popping out the bottom. Could it be the shirt? Gravity changed in the pandemic? Newton’s law? (F, 39, married, 2 kids, loves the scientific method.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Pi/circumference of vibrator/2+radius of finger = does your cock fit? Can a mathematician help me out? (F, 40, married, 2 kids, forgets 8th grade geometry, but needs to know if your cock will fit.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

“Clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere, cleanup.” Bonus points i(f)you know the song.

3yr ⋅

⋅

So we’re showering with non white clothes now? (F)

2yr ⋅

⋅

“It’s always tease, tease, tease. You’re happy when I’m on my knees. One day it’s fine and next it’s black. So if you want me off your back. Well, come on and let me know. Should I stay or should I go?” - The Clash (F), 40

3yr ⋅

⋅

I’m sad to tell you I have to take a sabbatical on my escaping tits research for a few weeks. We are heads down getting ready to move to a new home. Don’t fret, I’ll be back and we will science together again. (F, 39, married, 2 kids, wish me luck surviving a pandemic move without killing someone.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

11 days until Christmas. Will you countdown with me? (F, 40, married, 2 kids, hasn’t wrapped any presents, wants to bring you joy.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

40 year old moms can have fun too. On a school night. At 9pm. Alone. With quiet. (F, 40, married, 2 kids, could use human company.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Apparently my tits still fall out in the new house. They don’t care that I haven’t unpacked, have a busted ankle, and am trying to hide from the kids. At least I have that consistency to look forward to. (F, 40, married, 2 kids, exhausted, hates daylight savings, needs to do more gravity research.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Happy 40th to me! I moved in, twisted my ankle, dealt with 2 parasites going through internet withdrawal (we didn’t have it for 2 days - put me in parent jail), and just full of stress. But my new shower is fucking amazing. Miss all of you!

3yr ⋅

⋅

Dropping in and out between packing and trying not to kill my family to remind you to vote. If my tits did it, your cock can too! PSA over and back to my hiatus. (F, 39, married, 2 net negative parasitic packers, takes her civic duty seriously.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Heard you guys like panties over here. And mouths. And tits. Did I hit the highlights? [F], 40, married, 2 kids, hasn’t figured out how to pose with panties off her ass yet.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Yeah! It’s pandemic Monday. Again. After this weekend, I’m ready to say fuck you to 2020. Join me in my hatred. (F, 39, quarantined with a grumpy husband, 2 kids who are losing it, can’t believe we lost RBG, done with everyone who doesn’t believe in science.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Chaturbate: Come and play right now!

Now ⋅

I’m alive. See? I’m still packing. Thanks for all your messages. I’ll probably be gone for another month or so. Moving after 10 years in a house is fucking awful. (F, 39, married, 2 kids who suck at packing, apparently a semi hoarder, still hates everything.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Some images are hidden because they can no longer be found or have been removed by the file host ()