My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life...I'm thirty one years old!1d ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
And so, Springfield's heat wave continues with today's temperature exceeding the record for this date, set way back four billion years ago when the Earth was just a ball of molten lava.10mo ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
The band teacher's pants change from blue to red for no apparent reason.2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Only who can prevent forest fires? You pressed You referring to me. That is incorrect. The correct answer is you.2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
They're presidential pajamas.You have to be President. And YOU'RE not President.2wk ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
You know, it's such a beautiful day, I don't know why we don't operate outside more often.2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
That's marvelous! I-I couldn't have put it better myself: I DO what I FEEL like.1wk ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Simpson scandal update: Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him SEXUAL powers.3d ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Wait, I'm confused about the movie. So the cops KNEW Internal Affairs was setting them up?2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Look Daddy! Todd is stupid and I'm with him. And now mommy's stupid!2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside? 3wk ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Excuse me, your honor. Yes, I'd like to bring something to the court's attention. 4d ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I was just reading an old book of Matt Groening cartoons from 1988 and I noticed a familiar character.5mo ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Now folks, I don't want to alarm you, but scientists say 40% of America's pictures are *hanging crooked*.10mo ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Children remain calm...the Falkland Islands have just been invaded! I repeat: THE FALKLANDS HAVE JUST BEEN INVADED! The disputed islands lie here, off the coast of Argentina.2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Wait a minute...the statue of liberty...that was OUR planet! YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!2wk ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
OK Marge, if anyone asks: you require 24-hour nursing care, Lisa's a clergyman, Maggie is seven people, and Bart was wounded in Vietnam. 3wk ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Just spotted what looks like a rarely-glimpsed off-duty Eddie and Lou in the background.2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Mr President, your welfare proposal is nothing but a lot of technical jargon and partisan rhetoric, and...10mo ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
You will be assessed the full fine plus a small LARGE LATENESS PENALTY. Please wait by your vehicle between 9:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m. for parking officer Steve...GRABOWSKI.2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
One count of being a bear. And one count of being an accessory to being a bear.1d ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Bills...bills...Ohh, a rejection letter from The New Yorker subscription department.10mo ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
What's that? You want me to drink you? But I'm in the middle of a trial...1yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Gentlemen, you've both worked very hard. And, in a way, you're both winners... But in another, more accurate way, Barney is the winner.2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
YOU'RE OPERATING WITHOUT A T-437, SPRINGFIELD! OH SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY! I MEAN...I MEAN, MY GOD!2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Kippers for breakfast, Aunt Helga? Is it St. Swithen's Day already? 'Tis, Replied Aunt Hega.2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
This is Kent Brockman..................................................reporting.2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Oh hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such self-help videos as Smoke Yourself Thin!, and Get Confident, Stupid!2wk ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth, and when they bark they shoot bees at you?2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to prove to you not only that Freddy Quimby is guilty, but that he is also INNOCENT of NOT being guilty.2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
And you must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil. It was a Gummi Bear.2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Speaking of charming, watching Fox last night, I heard a rather amusing story. This character named Martin was feeling rather randy and he was heard to remark...2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Homer, I don't use the word hero very often. But you...are the greatest hero...in American history.2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Homer, that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me again.2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Good question lady. This job is not what I really do, okay? I play keyboards. 1mo ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Please take the fries off my head, kid; the basket is extremely hot.1yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
From here they appear to be tied, but I will go in for a closer look.2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Children are so fat today. Isn't there some way we could make money off that?2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
What's everyone's favorite Treehouse segment? Mine is probably Time and Punishment from Treehouse of Horror V.2yr ⋅ thoughtstop ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
