OP had to be pretty powerful already to get the coveted 'bimbo' username

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Prophetic cookie dream

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Garbagefawn...

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Walking pace is literally faster than that speed limit

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Workplace efficiency

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What about 'the Macduff Crew'?

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The Weatherwax Method

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This is literally just a Bart Simpson prank

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The spouse must also have a sword

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The scientific hubris experience

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Why are theatre kids like this

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Realistic, at least

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Broke: JK Rowling Woke: Rick Riordian

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The fucking Hufflepuff dorm was nicer

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Many such cases

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I like to think someone called him that and he just decided to wear it as a badge of honour

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This is basically what Gaster is

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Explains why I’m terrified of middle schoolers

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Reminds me of the refound short 'Cracks'

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Battery time

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Who are these movies for? Is there a Barbie movie fandom?

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The quarantine is exposing a lot of people, in general

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You don't think about the animals in movies as actors but they are

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We drove at least some of them extinct, even

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To be exact, the Sun is a Stand

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Maybe medieval peasants had the right idea about the causes of sleep paralysis

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Princess_irl

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If you were immortal being a college professor would be like one of the best things you could do with your time

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'Her friends turned her against me'

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Getting paid to be gay sounds like a pretty good job ngl

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Please, call me Pussy. Mr Ass is my father

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The bane of people trying to log off and go to bed everywhere

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'I contemplated quantum physics for too long and now I'm insane'

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I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE

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He spent 90% of his life writing lore give the man a break

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So not only does Koichi exist irl, so does Rohan

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Be Not Afraid

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11/10 recovery

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Killing hundreds of henchmen to get to the antagonist who you refuse to kill because it’s wrong

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For if you gaze long enough into the void, the void gets annoyed and walks off

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The Commercial Rabbit

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Shen is an absolute goldmine

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What level of scientific literacy are blockbuster movies aimed at

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'Here, you try!'

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Jelly Bob, Killer of Men

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I don’t know what this energy is but I want it

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Why are lactose intolerant people like this

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That's just what Ohio looks like at night

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Cat_irl

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Yeah this was odd

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That was the same rat Dio was talking about

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Demigods weren’t exactly uncommon

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This is genuinely really enlightening

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God has punished Tumblr for its hubris

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NASA are nerds

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The Modern Dad Joke

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So..Lose/Lose?

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OP is a witch’s child

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The plot of the Hobbit but replace Smaug with Jeff Bezos

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If you refute him, you become him

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The OG Lesbian

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This is a very important thing to learn, though

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It’s like the Infinite Monkey theorem

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'why is my skin so bad' she asked while broiling herself

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If I’m correct the guy who made this made some of the most expensive sculptures in the world

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Time travel would be good for eggs

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Imagine the first ape to learn how to do that, though

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Even that guy’s username is self-righteous

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*Starts to feel depression* God, you again, bitch?

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She wins the tontine when they’re all dead

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Metal grandma

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I wanna hear about earthworms

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The Duality of Man

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The KKK recruit heavily from giant mosquitoes

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You need someone to call you on your shit

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The Natural Progression

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That, or lightning gives you momentary superstrength

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OP is Isaac Newton

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...Them...

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Worryingly intelligent

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Wait you’re telling me painting a live naked woman is a thing art classes still do?

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Pulling an all nighter is a very strange experience

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*“Down Under” and “Africa” playing simultaneously*

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*single dork laughter*

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A haptic rollercoaster

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How frequently does this come up?

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Those were the days...

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Furry_irl

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Khajiit_irl

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Beethoven is Relatable

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This would suck

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Reverse pickpocketry

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This actually sounds like something Elon Musk would do, though

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Gorilla is weak to landmine

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They have the exact same energy and it’s frightening

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The name Ellen belongs to the lesbians now

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Kid’s movies are better at horror because they can’t just fall back on gore and jumpscares

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Like a recap episode of an anime

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Ducktales is blessed

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Why do Americans insist on using the worst measurement systems possible for everything

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I’m not sure how Paris even developed a reputation as romantic in the first place

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Boomers are great at accidentally supporting causes they hate

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Slavs evolved to squat

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How do you even fuck up the translation *that* badly

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They also tend to act as if they’re either intellectually disabled or deaf or both

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Better than Mac OS, I guess

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I’ve found him. The whitest man.

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‘I, a firstborn’

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Cats_irl

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Kink_irl

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If it’s like the time machine from Primer you get triple sleep as a built-in feature

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How to Torture a Pure Boy

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Roll the Die to Die, by RL Stine

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Always use said, never use adverbs

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Writing mood

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This is like an SCP

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Agenda_irl

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That one line from The Social Network summarises this phenomenon pretty damn well

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Why does half of Tumblr have Equinophobia

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Real people, fake units

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You must fight to defend your choice of seasoning, toastiemaker

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Werewolf_irl

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The standard wife, kept in a vault in Paris

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Nederland sank due to its hubris

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‘oh damn, you again?’

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MATER IS 60???

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That’s what happens when you suck too much dick

4yr ⋅

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'I am Pepsi.' is such a powerful sentence

2yr ⋅

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OP’s fursona is Mr. Peanutbutter

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Animism: the gods are those hills right over there

4yr ⋅

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Pigeon transition timeline

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Light jackets?

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Ms Frizzle will corrupt your children

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I love when incredibly raw lines come from incredibly silly sources

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Cats are too dumb to commit sin

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Dragon_irl

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Or possibly an airline pilot

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This would make a great D&D character

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That's a feature, not a bug

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Just because something is a social construct doesn’t mean it’s not real

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To be fair, some of them are simply lunatics

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Fursona_irl

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You’ve heard of Crystal Pepsi, now get ready for Gold Pepsi Requiem

5yr ⋅

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'I'll be paying in modulus, today'

4yr ⋅

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What part of the story would they even need to test

4yr ⋅

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So essentially, Bilbo

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‘poor people just need to stop having leisure activities and they’ll be fine’

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A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one

5yr ⋅

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‘this historical figure died a virgin’ Oh? Did they really?

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JoJo is very definitely not a surface-level anime

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