I put up my annual 12' tall tree, with 6400 lights (have to split on 3 circuits). My smart ass cousin sent me this via Amazon.

4mo ⋅ ⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

My son has had his learner's permit for a year; gets his license in two weeks. I asked him to repark the cars in the yard so I could clean the driveway. He called me in tears because he crashed. Tire on Tire. No damage. Lucky SOB.

1yr ⋅

⋅

Our guardian dog is fascinated by the 3 day old baby lamb that needs bottle feeding.

1yr ⋅

⋅

My sister is a special needs teacher. School rule is to confiscate phones if they make a noise. Another teacher heard the phone and took this...

5mo ⋅

⋅

My wife. Farm humor hits different.

1yr ⋅

⋅

Idiot dog broke into food bin, ate it all, fell asleep

6yr ⋅

⋅

Home alone - no help to replace the bottom washer.

2yr ⋅

⋅

No, kid, that's Soylent Green...

2yr ⋅

⋅

My son has the herps

1yr ⋅

⋅

MONSTER VAN

2yr ⋅

⋅

My daughter's present to me for my birthday. She gets me.

1yr ⋅

⋅

My 10yo decided he wanted to start fixing small engines for cash. Snagged this mower free. Two hours later, he (by himself) has it starting on the first pull. I'm no mechanic - he just has the touch.

4yr ⋅

⋅

My daughter organized my drawers of shop stuff.

5mo ⋅

⋅

When your daughter organizes your new chest of drawers for you.

3yr ⋅

⋅

My first grader, on an assignment of what he wants to be famous for when he grows up. Kid has a point.

3mo ⋅

⋅

Someone's pretty cheesed about the new speed limit drop.

10mo ⋅

⋅

Photographer got hit by pitch.

1mo ⋅

⋅

Nope. No slavery or rape amongst our founding fathers.

2yr ⋅

⋅

Best gloves I've ever owned. they stood up to 16 months of farm life, and over a season of firewood and wood furnace abuse. 100% bought a replacement pair.

1yr ⋅

⋅

I didn't order a new caulk gun. Honey, did you? Everyone, my wife's new jerky gun.

1yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Use 4 PVC for super efficient wine storage. No glue or fasteners required.

4yr ⋅

⋅

I don't like cats. But after 6 years, this dork has won my heart. He was supposed to leave with my daughter when she moves out. Now he's here for life.

2yr ⋅

⋅

How do you know when your new speed limit specification is unpopular?

10mo ⋅

⋅

30 years since I opened the handle. Got this when I was 10. Just gave it to my 10yo. He asked what was inside. Sorry, dad, I found your 10mm.

4yr ⋅

⋅

Kid plays with the doggy piss rock in the pet relief area at the airport (Dad is f'ing stupid too)

1yr ⋅

⋅

Just when you think they can't get any dumber.

10mo ⋅

⋅

The Durham Bulls schedule has an interesting week in May...

2yr ⋅

⋅

My son wanted to build a house after the last day of school. It ain't much, but we had fun with the scrap we had laying around.

11mo ⋅

⋅

My son matches the placemat at Chic-Fil-A

6yr ⋅

⋅

Update: 10yo has his first rebuild fully disassembled. Block cleaned. Reassembly starts next. So far, all I had to help with was popping the flywheel, and one con rod bolt that had to be ground off. Briggs V-twin.

4yr ⋅

⋅

This lifted Magnum.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Confined to the guest room with COVID. But not alone...

1yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Sprained my foot. Well, guess I'll run a sanitizer cycle later...

4mo ⋅

⋅

My 16yo son attended a funeral for a friend who passed in an accident this week. Nova smelled tears and came to fix it. These dogs, man. They're the best

8mo ⋅

⋅

Saw this here weeks ago and thought it was a terrible idea. Showed my Brother-in-law to laugh at. He bought me one for Christmas. Dudes, it's awesome.

1yr ⋅

⋅

[OC] Wife made breakfast for dinner. Yum.

1yr ⋅

⋅

But... wouldn't that be exploitative?

1yr ⋅

⋅

4.5 foot blaacksnake crawled into my daughters' room... on the second floor. The screams ended my Zoom call pretty quickly...

3yr ⋅

⋅

Forgot my collar extender for a balck tie gala. A bread tie from my briefcase saved the night.

7mo ⋅

⋅

Nova doing her thing with a 3 day old bottle baby lamb.

1yr ⋅

⋅

I'm a 45yo dad. My dad sent me this text after I posted a Facebook update about a stressful week ahead. I hope I can be as awesome as him to my kids when they're grown.

1yr ⋅

⋅

My dad is the best dad.

8mo ⋅

⋅

That's not how you do it, Bojangles.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Jack says why you work, not play?

2yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

My two boys, ages 4 and 6. Morons.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Fourth and final kid, doing his first shave. Older brother there for moral support I guess?

5mo ⋅

⋅

How lightly can you hit a red light runner at 50mph without actually causing damage?

10mo ⋅

⋅

My 10yo son (4th of 4) loves to build. We are raising a barn, and he's been by my side for 80% of it. Tireless worker, he earned his first real tool belt and tools of his own. He operates the nail gun, circular saw, and lays out his own walls. Don't underestimate what your kids are capable of.

4yr ⋅

⋅

Son made me a turkey hat.

3yr ⋅

⋅

This chrome-wrapped Porsche

2mo ⋅

⋅

My daughter chooses to celebrate her birthday every year at the Memorial Day Goat Show. My wife always does up her favorite goat for the occassion.

3yr ⋅

⋅

8 month old Nova. Banana for scale.

3yr ⋅

⋅

I'm gonna start using this GIF as a comment anytime some idiot on Facebook is complaining about why things are so expensive.

1yr ⋅

⋅

What book did I find shredded on the metro?

11mo ⋅

⋅

Reddit Thanksgiving! Four Redditors plus 21 other friends and family made for a great day. Thanks, Reddit, for helping fill the table.

4yr ⋅

⋅

First visit to my 16yo son after 2 weeks in a residential magnet school an hour away. He blew me off and is focused on his 13yo brother.

8mo ⋅

⋅

This week's challenge for the 4 kids: build the lightest 3' bridge that can hold a 20lb point load in the center. Any materials or style. Kicking off with pizza box structures lesson over dinner. Will report with photos Friday.

4yr ⋅

⋅

My daughter, high school Valedictorian. Yes. Her school spelled it wrong on her stole. We are dying laughing (she can't spell either). It's so perfect for her.

11mo ⋅

⋅

[misc] Paper chair challenge. Suddenly homeschooling four kids. 1 ream. 1 roll of tape. Must hold dad. All succeeded. Left to right: 10yo's trussed chair, 14yo's space frame, 13yo's last-minute rolled ream, and 16yo's bundled tube. We had a critique and looked up buildings using those systems after.

4yr ⋅

⋅

🔥 A Tornado twisted this tree so hard it broke.

1yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Barn progress update. Since last post, shingles are up, milking area added, and framing done. The shit shed (right) which the barn replaces will soon be gone.

4yr ⋅

⋅

The beef steer who tried calling 911 for help...

1yr ⋅

⋅

Camel Tow

6yr ⋅

⋅

Kid wasn't planning to trick or treat, but a friend asked last minute. Rain and a poncho lead to a last minute dose of inspiration. 100% his idea. I'm proud.

6mo ⋅

⋅

Bucks are assholes. That's a 2x4 they busted.

1yr ⋅

⋅

Thanks for the dock answers. Yes, SB2 plus Dock 2 enables dual 4K and onboard screen. Works great.

2yr ⋅

⋅

Paper chair challenge. Suddenly homeschooling four kids. 1 ream. 1 roll of tape. Must hold dad. All succeeded. Left to right: 10yo's trussed chair, 14yo's space frame, 13yo's last-minute rolled ream, and 16yo's bundled tube. We had a family critique, and looked up buildings that used their systems.

4yr ⋅

⋅

Mildly Infuriating, daughter's school censoring the bill of rights!

6yr ⋅

⋅

Spalted ash from my farm, cut 13 years ago and stacked to dry in the root cellar. 9% moisture. Going to be a new bathroom countertop.

1yr ⋅

⋅

Perhaps learn to write a coherent memo and you won't be stuck working for such poor management...

2yr ⋅

⋅

Smart-ass Cousin's Reaction to my 6850 light Christmas Tree (at 14' tall and 1712 watts, he isn't wrong).

4yr ⋅

⋅

I'm 12 at heart. Found the Durham Bulls schedule just a bit funny.

2yr ⋅

⋅

Of course it's a Hummer.

6yr ⋅

⋅

1 out of 5 stars

2mo ⋅

⋅

The perfect gift for that special ex...

3yr ⋅

⋅

My 10yo future engineer is helping me redo the suspension on my car in a couple weeks. He looked it up and modeled it in TinkerCad so he'd understand how it works.

4yr ⋅

⋅

When your wife doesn't say no to storing your summer wheels on your own side of the shower for the winter...

3yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

The barn isn't done, but finally has a dry roof. The sheep like it. The goats are skeptical.

4yr ⋅

⋅

Who's getting the porkchop?

1mo ⋅

⋅

Anti work... but let's ban the machines that make it so we don't have to work. Makes sense.

2yr ⋅

⋅

Guy on a ladder at the edge 20 stories up, no fall arrestor visible.

1yr ⋅

⋅

My 9yo son saw his first JDM Supra after a ballgame tonight.

5yr ⋅

⋅

How often do you sharpen when bucking logs? I always sharpen before I start. Reset depth every 3 to 5 sessions. On long days (especially with dirty logs) I'll sharpen every other tank.

7mo ⋅

⋅

Sitting on the back deck of the beach house with my seven year old in my lap after a day of surfing. Dad, he says, you don't pick the wave. The wave picks you.

4yr ⋅

⋅

Bought my 15yo daughter her first set of coveralls. She's worn them daily since Saturday. All day. Even after milking the goats twice. This girl is going places.

4yr ⋅

⋅

By the time we get through 5,000 lights, my daughter is ready to strangle me!

2yr ⋅

⋅

This is real.

5yr ⋅

⋅

I'm no fan of the GOP, but wow, this is misguided.

2yr ⋅

⋅

8 years ago, a conversation with my then 9 and 7 yo daughters.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Help identify what kind of wood this is? The bark looks unfamiliar. Eastern NC.

7mo ⋅

⋅

Taxes and fees are 20 times the rental?!

2yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

RIP

4yr ⋅

⋅

15yo daughter is building a shelf for her bathroom. Additional safety provided by the guardian dog. Maple plywood and poplar edging.

4yr ⋅

⋅

Daughter rescued this moron from the shelter. He had been there six months. He ALWAYS sleeps like this.

4yr ⋅

⋅

Every commode blocked its intended use. Well, not my problem. Sorry whoever has to deal with the consequences.

2yr ⋅

⋅

For years, my wife made fun of me for once including eggs in the list of dairy products. The local family restaurant has a wall hanging that proves me right.

4yr ⋅

⋅

Impossible Image Requirements - Can't make a JPEG that big, in color, that small.

6yr ⋅

⋅

Poor, confused bastard

6yr ⋅

⋅

The twins split up. Gnarly felling, the fork to the right broke away from the other in a wind storm last night. Woke up to the deck creaking like crazy - deck was holding the tree up. Could feel it heaving beneath me as I cut it down to save the deck. Will the left one hold up?

4yr ⋅

⋅

Awkward Proposition

6yr ⋅

⋅

Remember to check your oil before you track the car. Seems since I checked 1,000 miles ago I lost some, went dry in a hard turn, and now I get to do my 2ZZ swap early...

5yr ⋅

⋅

This moron (Jack Dammit) tried to get to me thru the gate, tried to back out, got stuck. (He's okay).

6yr ⋅

⋅

Joined the club today! Excited to not just lurk here with envy.

5yr ⋅

⋅

This sign, designed by a 3rd grader.

4yr ⋅

⋅

Two big boys

6yr ⋅

⋅

Tired of crawling under the tree to water it? Put a Rubbermaid bin next to it with a 1/4 hose. Fill hose with water to create a siphon, and mark the bin where the water is full in the tree. Simply water the bin (easy). Also, extends your time between watering!

2yr ⋅

⋅

Thanks for the advice, sub! Best finish ever on my new wheels/tires (949 6UL 15x9 with Rival 1.5s 225/45-R15 on my '01 MR2). I ran STR, placed 45th raw out of 117, and only 1 of 44 novices drove faster. Not bad for my 7th event (2nd with the MR2).

5yr ⋅

⋅

Jack Dammit's first day home

6yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Man broke into home, car got stuck, called tow truck. Neighbor called cops because he thought car was being stolen.

4yr ⋅

⋅

Grew up in the city, married a gal who wanted to homestead. This is a new milestone in my homesteading experience...

7yr ⋅

⋅

Jack Dammit won't stop chewing his ass

6yr ⋅

⋅

Still staring at the mouse...

6yr ⋅

⋅

Capitalism at Work

7yr ⋅

⋅

Hiding the Meal price then more than doubling the price at an airport (ATL).

5yr ⋅

⋅

6850 twinkly lights, 1712.5 watts, and a dedicated circuit so I can still turn on the TV without tripping a breaker. Only lights on in the house.

4yr ⋅

⋅

225/45-R15 Rival 1.5s on 6UL 15x9's. Hot damn she's a new car.

5yr ⋅

⋅

One pound foster kitty contemplating an attack on the 98 pound dog tail.

6yr ⋅

⋅

Constant SMS messages that require download? Coming from several people, but they aren't sending me anything. I'm getting 4 - 8 per day. There is no message if you attempt to download.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Oh, deer. (OC)

4yr ⋅

⋅

My BoSox fan son built this for the game. He crushed it in tears when Hicks went yard for the third time. It's a divided house.

6yr ⋅

⋅

Fascism is not socialism... really?

6yr ⋅

⋅

What is a rational libertarian response to this situation? Is this a place for government intervention? Curious to hear market-based solutions.

6yr ⋅

⋅

Nailed it the first try. Measure seven times, cut once.

5yr ⋅

⋅

Bird Scooters: Buh buh buh, the children!

6yr ⋅

⋅

Score that a 0-run homerun?

3yr ⋅

⋅

This one-armed juxtaposition

6yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Pearl Necklace Happy Ending?

6yr ⋅

⋅

10yo: Dad, I want to make something, but what? Me: your mother needs a cart for the goats' milking machine. Also me: you are 100% on your own. You got this.

4yr ⋅

⋅

Fence 1, Deer 0

6yr ⋅

⋅

What do you love?

8yr ⋅

⋅

IRS Planned Maintenance on TAX DAY

6yr ⋅

⋅

Fence 1, Deer 0

6yr ⋅

⋅