Consider my mind blown.
Oh come on.
That’ll show ‘em!
Stupid is as stupid does.
Then why did you even answer?
My mom picked out my clothes until I was 14.
...and she did.
Ye gotta pick ye battles.
I saw your bumper sticker “cowboy butts drive me nuts”.
MRW my black co-worker says Thanks, fam.
She’ll be there for you.
Totally appropriate attire for church.
My name is Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
“Now tell each other you’re sorry.”
Hire this man.
It’s the thuggish ruggish wig!
Husband waiting for wife at mall starter pack
My character is named Rich Cashman.
Taets a body way tae swatch at it.
Cool, you ruined people’s nights and lost money.
Can’t we all just get along? Apparently no, because of stupid statements like this.
Breaking News: Woman plays character in movie
Dad Joke Level: 1000
I love going to the #SAS19 hashtag and seeing pictures of all the fucking goobers that were there.
Lest we forget
Honestly, it’s whatever get me through the spring and summer.
I’m in the process of moving and found this lost relic.
Why can’t people just enjoy things anymore?
Damn, he right.
is this what its like to have kids?
What if you combined Johnny Bravo and Joe Dirt? I gotchu fam.
Up with hope, down with dope.
What the hell are you talking about?
Gonna make ya sweat.
Use your head, Kevin.
Thank you for telling people how to feel.
This is a real thing happening at the college in my town.
Ah, Wish is just casually selling crackpipes now.
My father-in-law couldn’t figure out how to share an article so he printed it out, scanned it and then emailed it to me.
Camouflage yamaka...yes I live in the south.
Beware! DirectTV job sales scammers have now changed their name to Grand Elite. Be on the lookout for these crooks.
We saved her from walking about the doggy green mile, and she couldn't be more grateful. The pics are about a year apart.
My mom just started using voice texting. It's not going well.
Visiting dad in federal prison. What a great memory.
Too bad he can't make punctuation great again.
So who’s the grape doctor?
Frank is all of us.
Dr. Pepper makes beans now.
Well, this seems like a totally sane thing to do to your car.
Get your own at TPUSA.clownpenis/fart
Coming this fall to CMT.
What is going on with those eye brows?
This is them every afternoon when I come home from work.
Gah, so random and nerdy.
At least he died doing what he loved.
I think this qualifies as trashy.
*Stefan Voice* “This profile has everything.”
It's an Albany expression.
No bluetooth? No problem.
Gatekeeping how to be a man.
The most important question.
No need for all of this.
“I may have committed some “LIGHT” treason.”
Not just anyone can be a true country boy.
a MAGIC marker!
MRW my boss tells a joke that is not funny at all.
and they say journalism is dying
Well, that's that.
Oh my god! What are the odds?
About a picture of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez with drag queen.
Just some of the cool dudes at the latest Toilet Paper USA Nazi recruitment convention.
Steve Holt! Likes to beat his wife apparently.
Holy cow, talk about doubling down.
For some reason, Lenny's drawing on Homer's get well soon card makes me laugh so hard.
*extremely long sigh*
My dog’s favorite thing in the world to do is go for a ride in the car. This is her riding along just enjoying the breeze.
All These Uhhhhs That I Have Done.
Oh, fuck off Pizza Hut.
When keeping it REAL goes wrong.
*has sex once*
This article on Roger Dunbarton is so great.
I love it when actors write their own IMDb biographies.
Honestly, me too.
It's probably not a good idea to advertise your restaurant on Facebook when you've had bad health department scores, but I like this guys optimism.
400 ft. nut shot
I know this pic looks like it has unicorn spunk on it, but behind that it's Johnny Cash at my veterinarian's office in the early 80's.
Jarrad Paul (Darren the Intern) posted this on his Instagram.
hashtagging the word vegan, when the picture has nothing to do with being vegan.
Grocery shopping in the early 90's.
Where do I start with this dating profile?
So I guess the lead singer of Third Eye Blind is old.
My friend's grandma recently passed away and her Mom keeps sending her texts like this. It's like she's writing a Lars Von Trier movie.
A passage from Don Jr’s new book that really truly seriously for real happened.
You vil ride zee megabus!
The Magic Stool Bus
I hope you’re prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
Presented without comment.
You leave an impression alright.
Alright Coke, I think you're going a little too far.
Totally totally for serious happened.
Finally got a chance to pay my respects to Skydog and Berry.
Really awesome idea that someone at The Big House had this weekend.
From my visit to Rose Hill Cemetery. I also found the graves of Little Martha and In Memory of Elizabeth Reed.
Fox News mishears and puts wrong Jay-Z lyrics up. Then, right wing Facebook finds it and acts accordingly.
This speed limit sign in my apartment complex.
Alright, calm down
The life of an above average person sounds exhausting.
I'll bet they have a very STABLE relationship.
He's so nonchalant about it.
If I was getting a prosthetic at least i could count on this place not mocking me.