When someone says, “I know something, but I’m not supposed to tell you.”1yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/WhatWeDointheShadows
For anyone that needs this today: Things will look up eventually, try to cut yourself some slack. The ice cream truck just went by, and Francine got you one of those fucked up Sonic the Hedgehogs.3yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/americandad
I’m glad that when my dad walked into that nightclub in Santa Fe, eyes damaged by the New Mexican sun, he bedded your Cherokee mother, having mistaken her for a person. | Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!2yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/americandad
Anybody else want to see more of Irillia (and the Lureneks in general)?1yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/TheOrville
Stan, you have the undeserved ego of Jeremy Piven, the annoying self-righteousness of Sean Penn, and the unbearable hypocrisy of Rush Limbaugh. What I'm trying to say is, you're almost as bad a person as Rachael Ray.2yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/americandad
Sorry; I hope it's not too much trouble, but I actually ordered a triple-vodka Coke, and, for some reason, you chose to fuck me in the face with what looks like a glass of piss and shit... Now, get me what I ordered- before I shoot you to death in front of this crowd full of drunks. Please.3yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/americandad
I'm Jeannie Gold, wedding planning extraordinaire! ...and a survivor.2yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/americandad
Elian? Is that you, baby? Come on in; you're safe here. I will not send you back to Coo-bah.”4yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/americandad
Yeah, but maybe you gonna do dem good deeds on down da road for somebod'.3yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/americandad
Shall I secure my precious ham? Nay. Let it lieth here, under the eyes of angels. For now, I seeketh repose in my chambers, to drift dreamward while hardcore porn blasts on my Samsung Galaxy 9+.3yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/americandad
Allow me to impress upon you the severe mistake you have made. For years my conduct has been largely benign- And yet... without provocation, you have severed our detente.2yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/americandad
Do you think there’s any possibility of Pablo and Kelly resurfacing in the new films?1yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/EvilDead
That’s the first time that’s ever happened! Ya’ gotta believe me!2yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/americandad
We know exactly where Trump’s official portrait is going.3yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/AmericanHorrorStory
Did you ever think you’d have a son who’d be going to one of the most exclusive, non-segregated clowning academies on the Atlantic Seaboard?3yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/americandad
What’s your favorite pet name Lorne blessed someone with? I have to go with “Angel-cakes,” it just fits so organically.2yr ⋅ Prodigal_Son22 ⋅ r/ANGEL
