Bunnies will often self-select and organize themselves by color shade, because they're actually super racist2yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Peaches must be harvested on time or they will reach the next stage in their life cycle, seen here3yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Every year, millions of Americans come together to celebrate carnivorous birds of prey with exceptional neck flexibility and revel in the glory of the Almighty SuperbOwl3yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Some seals adopt extreme workout routines that require a situp for every breathe or you drown and die3yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
If raised by bears, these cubs will become bears. If raised by dogs, they'll be dogs. Or, if left alone, they will grow into the hybrid of the two: hyenas.3yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
While most beavers are very self-conscious about their table manners and only eat with utensils, ones raised in captivity simply do not give a dam3yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Like most trees, Dogwoods need water, but unlike most, it also needs food and exercise to properly grow and thrive.3yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Pallas cats will stare at one another to communicate telepallasthicly4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Dogs do not fear dinosaurs, because animals all instinctively know when other animals are actually extinct4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Hyenas will use their cuteness to approach tourists, and when they're close enough, will spread coronavirus to them as punishment for failing to socially distance.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Due to their colorblindness, thick fur, and its lack of scent, most dogs are utterly incapable of sensing snow, leaving them totally unaware of its existence.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
As the quarantine drags on, you may find yourself to begin cleaning pet turtles. Resist this urge, as it often leads to the turtles developing an unhealthy addiction to pampering.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Hay'lls Angels is one of the most notorious gangs of the upper upper upper west side3yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
If not properly disposed of in a timely fashion, the remnants of spaying and neutering your dog may come alive2yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
If isolation is getting boring, consider finding a pine cone and growing it into a striped cuckoo bird!4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Pangolins are the most illegally trafficked animal because of their expertise in demolition and construction4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
It is custom for Red Pandas to collect flowers after Valentine's Day, and deliver them unto those who received none. Here are yours, loser!3yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Bears that are frequently exposed to humans have begun evolving to walk on their hind legs in an attempt to trick humans into raising their young4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Orange tabbies are better at social distancing than other color cats, as shown here. Remember, try and keep at least 6 feet of distance between yourself and others!4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Dragons are real, they've just shrunk down and stopped breathing fire (to help fight climate change.)3yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
In more progressive areas, young kids are given state-issued protection for their playtime with friends4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Bulldogs are not named for their likeness to bulls, but rather, to bulldozers4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Like most rodents, well-groomed chinchillas are naturally all-white, with fur color coming only from dirt and dust in their surroundings.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Alligators are naturally very docile and easily domesticated, so you should always feel very comfortable and safe interacting with random wild animals that have big teeth and claws.3yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
When a Baby Buffalo leaves for his first hunt, it is customary for its father to say Bison.8yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
The baby Pika needs to stay isolated in its den for months on end before developing enough of an electrical charge to fight4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Unlike humans, animals universally recognize that we're in a climate crisis, and have doubled down on mass transit5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
With the social isolation lockdown entering a new week, ancient animals are once again appearing. This baby dragon, for example, just hatched after a thousand year incubation, as the silence of the humans made it believe its time had come.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Shellboys need to be regularly watered to prevent spontaneous combustion4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Turtles raised in urban environments will display brighter coloration patterns- this one blending in with orange road cones4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Wombats are naturally averse to any rectangular opening, because it reminds them of their own square-shaped anus3yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
When frightened, seal pups flee danger by curling in their flippers and rolling away from the danger at speeds up to 42 miles per hour. [xpost /r/shittyanimalfacts]9yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/aww
Due to their innate sense of rhythm thanks to a life structured around the tides, sea mammal drum solos are otterly unbelievable5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
The myth that a rabbit's foot is lucky comes from the idea that if you were such a psychopath that you would tote around the severed limb of an adorable, you were lucky no one's kicked your ass yet.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Though many believe the biggest difference between seapuppies and doggos is their aquatic nature, really it's their incredibly shy demeanor as solitary creatures.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Neckalopes are the closest mammalian equivalent to snakes, and consist entirely of an elongated neck and two noodley hooved neckarms.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Manta rays travel with a posse because of their crippling fear of lonliness5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
In some places that have yet to adopt alarm clocks, it is customary for an alpaca or llama to do rounds in the morning to wake everyone up4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
The famous Flamenco dance is derived from the Spanish dancer sea slug, the official marine invertebrate of Spain3yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Pandas have highly developed espionage skills and tactical combat instincts, making them the animal kingdom's top operators.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Life in quarantine may leave you feeling desperate for contact with other living things. If that is the case, you should always feel totally comfortable sneaking up on and touching predatory species with sharp claws and beaks or teeth. Totally a smart thing to do.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
The Fossa is only Madagascar's largest carnivore because of the massive amounts of steroids they're all doing all the time4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Due to their evolutionary adaptations to the pressure of the deep sea, seals lack bones, which would crush under the pressure. On land, though, the lack of protective casing for their brain makes them very easy to knock out.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Beavers were one of the first species observed bringing their vulnerable neighbors food and supplies during quaranspring4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
After emerging from a social distance isolation hibernation, normally hungry snakes will gladly serve as a makeshift conga line at frog parties4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
If a red panda is raised in quarantine in the arctic, it won't know to grow red fur and will instead be totally white.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Genetically Modified Animals are the newest trend in designer pets, with options ranging from adorable to terrifying.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Unscrupulous movie producers have combined bunny and spider DNA to create a terrifying new monster4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
With a natural habitat of the entire fucking planet, it's totally cool and not at all shitty to keep highly intelligent animals, like the Orcas seen here, in tiny pools for the sake of human entertainment.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Lion Bunnies were bred to be the lethal guardians of Black Forest castles and gardens4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Fancyducks often act as security guards or bouncers for Antarctic waters teeming with scientists4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Bears can quickly and easily be trained as expert caddies, most often employeed by drug lords who want protection while golfing.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Pillowpups are the only animal that developed an evolutionary strategy of becoming pillows for other species.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
The rare Andean Mountain Cat is so seldom seen that whenever it finds a camera it feels an instinctual urge to provide good content4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Use your time at home to find new friends who may be living in your space, like this microctopus, a common species that makes its home in toilet tanks and dishes left to soak in the sink for too long.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
The recently-discovered Long Legged Pinocchio Mouse is so-named for its propensity to go out and meet others from different dens then taking long walks in very close proximity to eachother, and then lie about them when asked if they've been keeping self-quarantined to avoid spreading the plague.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
When raccoon dogs go through some harrowing ordeal and gain a newfound sense of power and purpose, they often lose their colorations and re-emerge in all-white fur4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
It is very smart and good parenting to treat wild animals capable of ripping your child's face off on a whim as though they're cute and sweet pets just because you've drugged them with some sort of narcotic tea4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Avian dentistry is a highly sought-after service, second only to their skills as barbers.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Owls fear thunder because, of their age-old rivalry with the Norse god Thor.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Alpacas are best known for their skills in the ancient art of limbo4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
The smelly anteater will ward off predators by attempting to hug them, and the stench from their underarms acts as a repellant.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
When pleased, marine mammals will often raise their hindquarters, in a motion that came to be known as giving a seal of approval4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Ducks are tragically suicidal, and will instinctively try and drown themselves. Unfortunately, they float.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Gorillas can be taught sign language, but they will only use it to insult zookeepers and patrons, who they refer to as prison guards and penitentiary tourists, respectively.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Kelptobirds are small and quick, skills they rely on to pluck feathers from other birds to wear on themselves.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Eye of Newt is a common ingredients in witches' brews because the lizard's uncanny regenerative abilities make it an easily renewable resource.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
In some parts of the world where cats and dogs are rare, there is the phrase fighting like flamingos and firefoxes4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
The Armored North American Noseyboys (aka Armadildos) have both the defensive shell and highly sensitive notes required to safely sniff out landmines and other improvised ordinances.4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Grouses use powerful magic incantations to defend their homes from invasive species, like skieers3yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Instead of a mint, some hotels leave a small rodent on the pillow to accommodate canine guests with chocolate allergies.7yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Capybaras are know for their grace and poise when performing their famous synchronized swimming routines.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
You can buy shrunk down color-changing lizards but they're pricey. This set cost chamillions.7yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
The world's best cigars are actually rolled by sloths. They're called Slowibas and they cost a fortune because it takes years for a sloth to assemble one.3yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Tank puppies ensure parental devotion and access to resources by being so damn annoying they dissuade parental units from pursuing further reproductive activity5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Beachborks are the only animal known to use a tidal alarm clock to ensure it doesn't miss important meetings.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
To make a longdog, simply place your thumbs in their shoulders, and slowly stretch until the desired length is achieved.7yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
One of the reasons that dragons are nearly extinct today is that in their early larval stage, their reaction time is so slow as to make catching prey difficult, if not impossible.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
The desert battle toad can roar so loudly it knocks over predators and, in some rare cases, triggers earthquakes.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Due to the melting of their traditional hunting grounds, many ice bears have been forced into modeling to pay the bills5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
While most people hate rodent infestations, treating rats nicely and feeding them well turns them into docile pets5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Meese's long legs are evolved to make them look particularly gangly and unappetizing to wolves, who are incapable of looking up to see the moose's body mass.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Some mountain goats grow horns so long they developed the capability to pick up radio signals5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Every waterdog starts its day with at least 30 minutes of strenuous cleaning.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Phone addiction therapy dogs are available for rent or hire. I've rented one for the next two weeks... See you in mid-April!6yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
If you let potatoes sit around long enough, not only will they grow eyes, but often they'll grow hair and teeth and reproductive organs and legs too! This is why potato farming is so lucrative.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Young owls are incredibly sassy, and often pick unwise fights with much larger critters5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Catfishing is a barbaric act still ritually practiced in some less cultured parts of the world6yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Trash pandas are nature's polyglots, for example the one seen here listening to a bee's directions on where to find the best rotten garbage5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Of all sunbathing species, on average seals have the highest levels of self-confidence.6yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Tubers are smol doggos who lost their legs via evolution, so that they may better collect the treats that fall under couches5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Similar to the intricate dances of bees, bowlboyes communicate by slapping one another in the eyes6yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
tell me this isn't the most adorable thing you've ever seen in your entire stupid pointless life4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/sloths
For a thousand years, a bitter war has raged between the birds and the bees5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Llamas are incredibly vain, and will always inspect cameras to ensure they are high enough quality to capture the llama's drama5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
The Algerian Guster is the only animal known to possess the power of invisibility, which it primarily uses to put on impressive blanket dances to woo a potential mate.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Although normally strictly herbivorous, Buffalo will attempt to eat annoying birbs that wake them up in the morning5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Sun bears use their distinctive chest marking to indicate age and wellness, with the circle fading away to nothing as the bear ages or sickens4yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Under each patch of sod, you'll find a mudboye going about his business6yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Dugongs are the illegitimate love children of a manatee and dolphin5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
If you find an altar to the Old Gods, do not be afraid to pay your respects . You will be handsomely rewarded, as they have long abandoned the ways of human sacrifice.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Squirrels don't just eat nuts, they eat anything that can be safely stored underground, like this strawbury5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Corgis were bred by Jamaicans, who needed a champion limbo-er to win their freedom from France.6yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Commonly referred to as God's Mistake, the tapir is the result of an unholy union of donkey and elephant.8yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Being highly social creatures, waterdogs are particularly shocked to find out they've been left Home Alone7yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
You generally don't see cows at the beach because it makes their milk all sandy6yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Of all dog breeds, the Florida Flatback is the most friendly. Its cold blood requires it to spend as much as 20 hours a day cuddling.6yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
A frisbee gets its flying power by osmosis, as they are actually designed as portable birdbaths.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Gophers are highly sensitive to touch, and experience incredible pain when even lightly brushed6yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Palace cats are so named because of the elaborate homes they build, all on their own.6yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Not all porkies can paint beautiful landscapes and photorealistic self-portraits, but my baecan.6yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Tigers are actually the rightful kings of the jungle, but Lions were coronated instead because they have more pride. To this day, the insult and thoughts of what could have been haunts many tigers.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
As a man's best friend, dogs consider it their duty to protect their owners from fixating on less desirable potential pets.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Tuxedobirbs always forget they can fly, but also often forget that they know how to swim, too, and play cruel games with one another.5yr ⋅ pnewell ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
