How about a Satanic invocation?

8mo ⋅ ⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Your first day in hell be like

1yr ⋅

⋅

Hail Rogen?

2yr ⋅

⋅

wholesome 🌸

3yr ⋅

⋅

Get in, we’re going sinning.

1yr ⋅

⋅

You're making things up again, Arnold.

1yr ⋅

⋅

Gotta instill that needless shame on them

1yr ⋅

⋅

And even if there is, it sounds better than heaven.

1yr ⋅

⋅

It's almost like the more taboo you make it, the more allure it has

11mo ⋅

⋅

The Clarence Thomas fries are cold and stale af

1yr ⋅

⋅

Whoever posted this to the Kaysville Fire Department FB, I'd like to buy a beer.

1yr ⋅

⋅

vote the theocrats out

1yr ⋅

⋅

Be like Bill

1yr ⋅

⋅

Don't threaten me with a good time

1yr ⋅

⋅

I'm more Satan's type...

1yr ⋅

⋅

But I am God

1yr ⋅

⋅

PSA: Ad blockers are the way to go

1yr ⋅

⋅

That and Temple Tuesdays

1yr ⋅

⋅

Does Satan have a type?

2yr ⋅

⋅

I always ask myself, what would hairy desert-dwellers from 2,000 years ago think.

1yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

It do be like that

9mo ⋅

⋅

I think I look more forward to Krampusnacht than xmas.

1yr ⋅

⋅

Mic drop

2yr ⋅

⋅

Gotcha

10mo ⋅

⋅

I give it 2 out of 5 stars

5mo ⋅

⋅

Original sin my ass

1yr ⋅

⋅

When they decide to get politically active.

1yr ⋅

⋅

Actually, it's kiss...

11mo ⋅

⋅

How else do you celebrate Halloween?

1yr ⋅

⋅

Oh come, all ye faithless

5mo ⋅

⋅

It's a coincidence.

1yr ⋅

⋅

Most of us don’t have to be told to be moral

1yr ⋅

⋅

Take the beam out of your eye before something, something.

1yr ⋅

⋅

Let the healing begin

7mo ⋅

⋅

I, Heathen

2yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Don't stereotype me.

3mo ⋅

⋅

When the Majority pretends to be the minority

1yr ⋅

⋅

I suspect trolls be trollin'

3mo ⋅

⋅

Scientifically proven that this happens

7mo ⋅

⋅

They think I'm weird.

1yr ⋅

⋅

Except when making a memes....

1yr ⋅

⋅

Little known origins of Satan Church

10mo ⋅

⋅

Whatever you do, don't read the bible for a moral code: It advocates prejudice, cruelty, superstition, and murder. Read it because we need more atheists. --Penn Jilette

2yr ⋅

⋅

How the turntables have...

2mo ⋅

⋅

When someone you follows posts the Seven Tenets

1yr ⋅

⋅

Declaro Satanismum!

1yr ⋅

⋅

PSA: Ublock Origin is a thing (reupload)

1yr ⋅

⋅

Probably something to do with Midi-clorians.

1yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Everyone should read the Bible; we need more atheists.

2yr ⋅

⋅

The Jesus Ads will save you

8mo ⋅

⋅

Y'all need Satan

1yr ⋅

⋅

We, tired of defining ourselves by what we're not.

1yr ⋅

⋅

Only the cut penis will be saved.

3mo ⋅

⋅

Sure we have the likes of Slayer, Black Sabbath, Ghost. They have, um, Jars of Clay (I don't fucking know)

10mo ⋅

⋅

That is darn tempting, but, uh, I think I'll pass.

1mo ⋅

⋅

Never mind studies are showing it reduces suicide in kids...

2mo ⋅

⋅

Maybe just me?

2yr ⋅

⋅

Small-town Satanists

1yr ⋅

⋅

But still, for the Glory of Satan

2yr ⋅

⋅

Jesus loves the poor... returns on securities he bets against.

9mo ⋅

⋅

I'd rather burn in hell, than serve in heaven.

2yr ⋅

⋅

Air Force generals making her climax.

9mo ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Spread it on a holy cracker

10mo ⋅

⋅

It might be the first actual case of resurrection

1yr ⋅

⋅

Apparently stuff I wear on the daily is now a Halloween costume. Lol!

1yr ⋅

⋅

What a guy

2yr ⋅

⋅

Patron Saint - Carl Sagan

2yr ⋅

⋅

And thus said Jesus, let the cognitive dissonance reign supreme in the land.

9mo ⋅

⋅

If these symbols scare, you should reevaluate some things about yourself.

8mo ⋅

⋅

I'm a gonna stop ya right there.

2yr ⋅

⋅

Lil' bit country, lil' bit rock

8mo ⋅

⋅

Babe with the Power

1yr ⋅

⋅

What can you do...

1yr ⋅

⋅

IDK why church people do this... something about a positive feedback loop.

1yr ⋅

⋅

All beliefs matter

1yr ⋅

⋅

Cheese is god. Cheese is love.

1mo ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Weekend plans actually

6mo ⋅

⋅

I'd sell my soul for a doughnut.

7mo ⋅

⋅

Some people have... expectations of us.

7mo ⋅

⋅

It's maybe not all we do...

1yr ⋅

⋅

Wanna lawsuit? Discriminate on the basis of religion.

1mo ⋅

⋅

You steal, go to hell. You driving too fast, go to hell. You play music too loud... hell.

8mo ⋅

⋅

I'm tired of the war on Krampusnaacht

2yr ⋅

⋅

Don't tread on my privilege

3mo ⋅

⋅

And we're supposed to be creepy ones

3mo ⋅

⋅

Mental gymnastics means your mind's in better shape, right?

2mo ⋅

⋅

As long as God gets a mention, so should Satan.

9mo ⋅

⋅

Okay... and?

2yr ⋅

⋅

But also, I kind of don't care.

2mo ⋅

⋅

God, the original snowflake

2yr ⋅

⋅

Sounds like a typical guy actually. I say this as a guy.

7mo ⋅

⋅

Church lip services

5mo ⋅

⋅

An update on an old Satanic meme

2yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Jesus is the Great Value of gods

2yr ⋅

⋅

And the dumbest man alive award goes to...

2yr ⋅

⋅

Dead parents society

1yr ⋅

⋅

The Baphomet dilemma

2yr ⋅

⋅

damn you, religious trauma

2yr ⋅

⋅

Sometimes safer narrative, living in a small town

7mo ⋅

⋅

Worst costume ever

1yr ⋅

⋅

Mistakes were made

5mo ⋅

⋅

Is that idiot useful though?

2yr ⋅

⋅

Live by the idiocy, die by the idiocy

9mo ⋅

⋅

I'll kill you if you don't follow me said Satan never.

2yr ⋅

⋅

I'm in a red state

2yr ⋅

⋅

True story

5mo ⋅

⋅

The best and brightest

3mo ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Hail Sagan!

2yr ⋅

⋅

Talk dirty to me - tell me how you think churches should be taxed, baby!

2yr ⋅

⋅

Sounds like what relatives tell you to force you into a toxic relationship

1yr ⋅

⋅

God's kinda creepy

3mo ⋅

⋅

This persecution seems complex

2yr ⋅

⋅

I'd rather define myself by what I believe in, not what I don't

9mo ⋅

⋅

Just because you can...

1mo ⋅

⋅

Wait... Let me start over.

2yr ⋅

⋅

Barking up the wrong tree

3mo ⋅

⋅

Small-town Satanist

2yr ⋅

⋅

This fucking guy

1yr ⋅

⋅

Slow Joey

7mo ⋅

⋅

Nobody cares.

3yr ⋅

⋅

My daughter leaves me her little doodles on my computer monitor. She left me this last night. Love that kid.

2yr ⋅

⋅

I'm a work in progress

2yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

For the record, I got into Satanism first.

1yr ⋅

⋅

It's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

1yr ⋅

⋅

Straight to hell, gatekeepers!

1yr ⋅

⋅

And now, a message from our sponsor.

2yr ⋅

⋅

How many tenets do the tenants have if the tenants have uh... tenets?

8mo ⋅

⋅

No Gods. No masters

2yr ⋅

⋅

What if I'm into it?

2yr ⋅

⋅

Something's gotta give

1yr ⋅

⋅

It's almost like those in authority want people to stay ignorant.

2yr ⋅

⋅

I bet a many religious folk in this country are more scared of the second panel happening.

1yr ⋅

⋅

Thrill me Creatures of the night

1yr ⋅

⋅

You just can't celebrate Christmas like you used to.

2yr ⋅

⋅

Fucking idiot

1yr ⋅

⋅

I've definitely never done this... Definitely.

2yr ⋅

⋅

TST hates CoS. CoS hates TST. Everyone else:

2yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Or maybe some fruit snacks...

1yr ⋅

⋅

Maybe projection?

11mo ⋅

⋅

Brains should be a prerequisite for social media.

2yr ⋅

⋅

It may scare the cowardly and superstitious lot!

2yr ⋅

⋅

'Member this, Jesus? 'Member? Huh?

3wk ⋅

⋅

Priorities

10mo ⋅

⋅

Maybe in Alabama?

2yr ⋅

⋅

Kevin, you lil' hellion

2yr ⋅

⋅