A dog after my own heart

5mo ⋅ ⋅

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That means you, Disney.

5mo ⋅

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Do you read what you write before you post it?

1yr ⋅

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Remember when this was an unbelievable plotline in action movies?

1yr ⋅

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Congratulations, you played yourself.

5mo ⋅

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Wow. Really putting your thoughts out there. So brave.

4yr ⋅

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This is how you boss.

5yr ⋅

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I'm pretty sure this is illegal.

4yr ⋅

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I guess Heroic Hollywood really likes that film...

5yr ⋅

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Why... Just why would you do this...

1yr ⋅

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Boycott? Boycott.

1yr ⋅

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Was it that same grandma who gifted the journal?

1yr ⋅

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No regerts.

3yr ⋅

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I'm an American, the land I'm standing on becomes America, therefore you are the foreigner!

5mo ⋅

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Their favorite dish? Chicken quarantine.

5yr ⋅

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At least they made it easy for him.

4yr ⋅

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A notebook from a student in Spain who had to write I must not speak Basque in school a thousand times.

6mo ⋅

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I mean you can't not let Aaron finish, that's just rude.

1yr ⋅

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So is the government of another country running our video game industry or...?

4yr ⋅

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She's up all night to get called out on her bullshit.

5yr ⋅

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This is how you protest.

5yr ⋅

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There isn't even that much DNA in blood...

5yr ⋅

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Not denouncing anything because...

5mo ⋅

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Men feel bad about themselves too, Stephen.

5yr ⋅

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Do people not realize that everyone can see their tweets?

5yr ⋅

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To show a cracked phone screen.

4yr ⋅

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At least some justice was served.

4yr ⋅

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It would have been a different story if he was cooking the books.

5yr ⋅

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Life imitates art.

4yr ⋅

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No one talks about this enough.

5yr ⋅

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Don't have $20? Guess you have to go without your not-kill-yourself pills for a while!

5yr ⋅

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Imagine learning of a girl's death and thinking this.

2yr ⋅

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How do you even think to do that?

1yr ⋅

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Imagine thinking that this would get you somewhere.

4yr ⋅

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Worst. Emoji choice. Ever.

5yr ⋅

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Does Spider-Man look like the kind of guy to get a fake ID?

5yr ⋅

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This isn't sweet at all.

5yr ⋅

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The perfect boyfriend.

4yr ⋅

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Oh no I dropped my MONSTER CONDOM that I use for my MAGNUM DONG

1yr ⋅

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Not even gamers are safe.

1yr ⋅

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Sounds like a r/maliciouscompliance story.

4yr ⋅

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I hope this dog is/was found.

4yr ⋅

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As a 1997 baby, I find this offensively accurate.

5yr ⋅

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If you had to guess which filmmaker it was, who would it be?

6mo ⋅

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This is (not) how you increase employee morale.

5yr ⋅

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All we can do is our best.

1yr ⋅

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I hope he's into that kind of thing, or that's gonna be a pain in the ass to clean up

5yr ⋅

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What's the cutoff age for the man to be before this is creepy?

5mo ⋅

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I, too, wish the authors of the books I read were psychic.

2yr ⋅

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The deadline is scarier than her costume.

4yr ⋅

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When the joke becomes real, irony dies.

5mo ⋅

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Nat 20 on Deception, 1 on morality.

2yr ⋅

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Worst. God. Ever.

5yr ⋅

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I'm sure the thief didn't know, but I feel like this still belongs here.

4yr ⋅

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He's so smart, his blood is pure DNA!

1yr ⋅

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Greeting the hooman

4yr ⋅

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Rule of threes.

5yr ⋅

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Why are you reading hentai at the soup store?

4yr ⋅

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Well, this is certainly a good sign.

4yr ⋅

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I'd've just assumed I got a raise I wasn't informed about.

1yr ⋅

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Why is this something you felt the need to externalize?

8mo ⋅

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Jonas Salk didn't patent the polio vaccine for the same reason.

1yr ⋅

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This is why you don't buy sight unseen.

1yr ⋅

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Someone needs to rethink their upcoming marriage.

4yr ⋅

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Aren't we missing something?

4yr ⋅

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This grandma who violates a child's privacy.

1yr ⋅

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Imagine the balls you'd need to post on Facebook asking for advice on committing vandalism and fraud.

4yr ⋅

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I like to think that this is what Twitter was made for.

4yr ⋅

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But where does he keep getting the coupons?

4yr ⋅

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Wait 'til they hear they missed the World Wars.

4yr ⋅

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He's a little confused, but he got the spirit.

4yr ⋅

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This is somehow legal.

2yr ⋅

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I did not know this about archaeologists.

5yr ⋅

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I bet he crushes a lot of Minja.

4yr ⋅

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I hope they're joking.

4yr ⋅

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A step in the right direction for Gambia.

4yr ⋅

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He must be thin enough to go through the cervix.

5yr ⋅

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If I'm ever a teacher, I'm doing this.

5yr ⋅

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I think she was just using her death as an excuse to not go to work.

4yr ⋅

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Is funny because gay incest.

5yr ⋅

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A sign that people are awesome.

4yr ⋅

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I'm all for gender-neutral bathrooms, but Jesus...

5yr ⋅

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Esoteric poetry and people watching for 4 hours at a coffee shop totally mean I'm not insufferable to talk to!

1yr ⋅

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I was stuck in Oppa's mouth. That's rough, buddy.

4yr ⋅

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Playing a woman in a video game = sexualizing. Got it.

5yr ⋅

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She's already so well off, what more does she want?

5yr ⋅

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This girl really missed out.

4yr ⋅

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Touch raised bumps on a wall, acquire knowledge.

4yr ⋅

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This is how you creepy.

5yr ⋅

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This woman is in her 20's.

2yr ⋅

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The absolute state of the MCU now.

5yr ⋅

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Today on Worst Takes of All Time

2yr ⋅

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Shove his carbon foot up BP's oil hole.

4yr ⋅

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Don't teach kids to not want to grow up.

4yr ⋅

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Oh, hello bear!

4yr ⋅

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A moose with the temperament of a lion would be the most nightmarish thing.

4yr ⋅

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I hope this mother isn't actually going around telling people her son doesn't exist.

5yr ⋅

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I love when memes turn into useful information.

5yr ⋅

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Most churches aren't useless.

4yr ⋅

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I've personally never cheated and don't plan to. Am in in the minority or majority?

4yr ⋅

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Imagine going out to mow your lawn and suddenly you're in a warzone...

5yr ⋅

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Also the name Aryan State

5yr ⋅

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My brand loyalty is to English oak.

5yr ⋅

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Business is hopping!

5yr ⋅

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That's how you deal with that nonsense.

5yr ⋅

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I'm imagining her patrolling the building to the Imperial March.

4yr ⋅

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A very spicy story.

3yr ⋅

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They counted four and are already asleep? That's gotta be a record.

4yr ⋅

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Because that's why, it's her fault, not the parent who left.

5mo ⋅

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Those stickers aren't so ba- oh. Oh no.

4yr ⋅

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And how exactly do they breed?

6mo ⋅

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Aardclark

4yr ⋅

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Not the brightest star in the constellation.

5yr ⋅

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Don't show them to the kid until they're much older.

5yr ⋅

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Good to know who can make out with whom in cartoons.

4yr ⋅

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The equivalent of only selling mules to people who need to breed their own horses.

4yr ⋅

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A gøøse once bit my sister

4yr ⋅

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He's making an Aangry face

5mo ⋅

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Because this is something we all need to hear.

1yr ⋅

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Japan has a reputation for customer service, not customer violence!

4yr ⋅

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Should I try this just for shits and giggles when I have a day to kill?

5yr ⋅

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This just makes me think of a bodybuilder helping an old lady cross the street.

4yr ⋅

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Seems kinda dystopian now that I think about it.

5yr ⋅

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Look up more names like that on Jewgle.

5yr ⋅

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IF I SCREAM I SUMMON HUMAN SERVANTS

5yr ⋅

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You know Kung Fu but apparently not the art of punctuation.

9mo ⋅

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There's a dog but there's also butter.

6mo ⋅

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Any Kraut you can Jew, I can Jew better. I can Jew any Kraut better than you.

4yr ⋅

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That's not what she meant by Beat it!

4yr ⋅

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Some guy on Whisper

6yr ⋅

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Meet Karen the Bridezilla

1yr ⋅

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You just kinda say things and hope they're true, huh?

6mo ⋅

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Sounds like a weather phenomenon in some wacky DnD plane.

5yr ⋅

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Neckbeards never die!

4yr ⋅

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Luke and Leia were probably the first generation in a long time to not be born slaves.

4yr ⋅

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So really not much different then?

4yr ⋅

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And school comes along just to Endgame

5yr ⋅

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How to make consumers support slavery.

4yr ⋅

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If you think you'd the only girl to think a certain way, I have a bridge to sell you.

1yr ⋅

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You're an ally now! You're a transphobe now! You're a kid you're a squid you're a-

1yr ⋅

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In the year 1098...

4yr ⋅

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Chardonnay pairs best with a tossed salad.

5yr ⋅

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That switcheroo game strong.

2yr ⋅

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*Shatner voice* KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

5yr ⋅

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