I finally swiped right on Tinder and the guy is insanely gorgeous, so I didn't think he'd swipe too. We just matched. MRW trying to come up with an opening line.8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
Me looking back over my calorie counts and seeing what always tips me over is red wine5yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
Oh. OH NO. It happened. I deep-throated a guy with such enthusiasm that I made myself vomit. In his bed. Oh no NO. HELP ME WASH MY BRAIN OF THE MEMORY8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
MRW my Mum is doing her annual give-clothes-to-me clear out, and within the bundle is a leather jacket just like Jessica Jones', asymmetrical zip and all.9yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
I can deep-throat like a champ with no gagging, but when I try to swallow a pain killer that isn't sugar coated...8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
Me when the lead singer of my absolute favourite band gives some rubbish apology for being a predator to underage girls, and my seemingly extremely feminist (?) bf tentatively starts with some bullshit of 'I guess it could be the problem of some girls make themselves look older...'6yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
That first masturbatory-orgasm after you've broken up, and you thought about him the whole time9yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
The trial when you're waiting for your sexy-times partner to come over, and the anticipation gets you horny, but if you do anything about it it'll ruin it for when they do arrive8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
I didn't realise how picky I am until I finally downloaded tinder and swiped through all of the cards without swiping right once...8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
Raw button mushrooms with teeny amount of cream cheese (light) and much more hot sauce than I can actually handle. Featuring, also, raw broccoli stem because I can't waste food. Est. 1000+ cal3yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/ShittyRestrictionFood
MRW I'm texting a guy from tinder, asking him about what prep I should do for some dance classes he might be giving me - he suggests forearm exercises and then sends me a video of him doing said exercises. All. The. Flexing.8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
HIFW I've played the friend-game so effectively with my crush that he sent me photos of girls he wants to 'bang'8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
MRW I push my crush away by chasing him too hard. Overeager son of a...8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
MRW I'm reading in a pub with a pint, on my own, and a man comes up to me and says 'Don't stay here too long on your own - you're too good looking.'9yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
Me about my unrequited crush: I'm over him. I'm over him. I'm over him. *He messages me something bland and generic*8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
MRW I'm a few weeks out of a breakup now and I realise I've been missing a trick by not getting myself a bottle of wine and listening to Taylor Swift all night.9yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
Have a (mostly physical) crush on a coworker who is seeing someone. Not sure if it's a good thing because I look forward to going to work everyday, or a bad thing because I have to work with him whilst containing myself...8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
MRW I ask my BF to inspect my attempt at filling the dishwasher - a task I am so bad at that I usually avoid it10yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
MRW I am crushing SO hard on a guy, and he is flirting with me lots, but he definitely doesn't want a relationship, but we'll almost certainly have sex, and I now have loads of gorgeous, hot photos of him on my phone...?8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
To be fair, there is a lot of wine in it, which is making the glass particularly heavy.8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
HIFW all my Halloween plans come crashing down as a result of my butthurt ex, but I'm gunna cheer myself up by dressing as Wednesday Addams all day.10yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
MRW I plug into my period tracker that on this, the 4th day, I am both overwhelmingly sad and overwhelmingly horny9yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
MRW it's day 2 of the breakup and I'm trying to convince myself to have some food.9yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
It's been just the most awful day and I desperately need a hug... But, instead, how about you lovely people tell me about something beautiful that occurred in your day? Mind hug!9yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
MRW he doesn't come home on his lunch break to stop me from leaving after he broke up with me yesterday. I secretly hoped he would. Even dared to think he might. Looks like I'm off to catch a train.9yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
I just can’t get the first ‘sure’ number. There’s always a first sure number? What am I missing? Please only give the start number so I can then get going!11mo ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/puzzles
MRW I try GWA, wondering whether the sound of a mans voice is actually the thing that really gets me, and I cum faster and harder than I ever have before.8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
MRW looking a humorous gif or comic showing girl masturbation to share with you my recent sexual frustration woes... and finding none, only male-focused stuff8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
We almost got back together because we can't help but love each other, and then we didn't because it just can't work. Break up day 1, take 2.9yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
Help! Super gross, not for the faint hearted, but in need of female anatomy/IUD advice from you trolls... (in comments)7yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
I bought a bra so comfortable, I keep going to put on another bra cause I forget I'm already wearing one9yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
MRW I think that I'll never have to do an exam again, now I've finished my undergrad, and then I find out that I will have to do some standardised one if I want to do my MFA in the USA (which I do)8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
MRW I've now resorted to herbal tablets to try to get to sleep after weeks of trouble, but it's 3am and here I am8yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
MRW my SO and I just had THE SAME FRICKIN' ARGUMENT for, like, the 100th and we still can't seem to resolve it9yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
HIFW I get yet another rejection for my poetry - but it's 'fine' cause, well, I'm not good enough for it to be my actual job anyway. Sob.9yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
Uh... I think I found a lump guys, IN EACH BREAST. One lump in each effing breast. Is that even a thing? That has to be hormones causing swelling or something, right? RIGHT?! argh!9yr ⋅ noir- ⋅ r/TrollXChromosomes
