Me trying to tell my mum I need to go to hospital for stitches but trying to say it vaguely so she doesn't get too mad
How a cutter asks someone out
Thank you Snapchat.
Well..ummm...this is going to be awkward to explain. Better pack my bags because I'm going to be in the ward longer than one night...
I just had an argument with my mum cause I accidentally posted a pic to instagram and my mum & bro saw but I deleted it straight after. She takes my laptop and makes a huge fuss over me talking to other people about my issues. She thinks someone is telling me to cut. She's fucking ridiculous.
I think I'm done now. I'm sweating so much. I feel a little light headed.
uhhhhh is it bad I still want to do more
That's MUCCHHH better.
Gosh, that one cut just does not wanna stop bleeding! Hit a good vein, it was pulsing .
Final result. I'm hot and bothered,and now I have to go to hospital. Great. It is satisfying though.
I'm going to stop now... I want to do more so I'm going to hand the blade in and go to hospital
I think I'm done now. Going to have something to eat then tell my mum awkwardly haha.
This orange is almost as empty as me!
Turning into a Simpson lol
Fun in the tub
Stitches. Lots of stitches. Also, I just got some antidepressants that I'm starting tomorrow. Fluoxetine dispersable tablets. I'm posting all my shit here because I have nobody else to talk to 😕
I am toxic. Nobody can help me. I ruin everyone that tries..
After three different hospital visits, I'm left with this.
Looks like I'm off to hospital again. My mum is going to be mad asf. I'm supposed to have ist in an hour which is why I did this. I'm not having ist. Also, cause I feel so numb and I wanted to see the depth and pain.
Yesterday I got eighteen stitches for four cuts, and today I've done another four. Fuck. Sorry for shitty picture, my phone is officially broken like me.
Oh my gosh why can't I go deep rn
Worst part of my infection. Waiting for the boiled water to cool so I can clean it up.
FucK this blade is SHIT and i am SHIT and these cuts are SHIT and everything is SHIT. I don't know what I'm doing anymore I just want to kill myself but I can't I just want to cut deep but I can't and I feel lonely so lonely fuck ugh I'm going insane
My gross stitches and a pathetic cut that's barely visible. I feel like I'm having a panic attack. I can't cut because they're all blunt. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
My boyfriend just came back from leaving for a week with no notice. Starts talking shit behind my back. Told someone meeting me was a mistake. People start saying I'm not dating him. I ask him and he said he met two new people who are the most important people in his life from mw.It hurts. It hurts.
Cutting while numb. Great fun! 😉
My mum walked in on me cutting but it was on my arm. They were quite shallow. I promised not to cut deep but I couldn't resist.
I'm going to need stitches again, aren't I? Sigh...
I can see your life panning out to be nothing. You're a thief. You're going to be taken into care. You're not listening. Phrases from my mum as I cry my eyes out in front of her.
My attempt at an eye, its terrible 😂
I couldn't resist.
Boi am I fucked up. My mum just nipped out to get some more bandaged and shit. Wooooohoo!
It's so satisfying..
I'm Dexter Morgan, the blood splatter analyst.
Just one swipe. I love shaving razors. They're so sharp.
Out of hospital and back at home.
Pathetic. I want deeper.
I feel so lonely..... These are so pathetic, I don't understand how people cut deep on their arms. It's so painful!
Out of hospital now. Fully bandaged up. I got seventy sutures in total.
Burning is the only thing I feel right now. Ugh
Stitches, removed stitches and infection. Woohoo!
Most of the stitches. Finally allowed to take the bandages off. 😂 The weeping from the bottom right is from different sutures from previous times. These sutures are soooo amazing! Most of them haven't wept a single bit, and they're so tidy. The other docs are too lazy to spend time on my sutures.
Is the redness around the stitches and a little bit of puss normal? I don't think it is..?
Stitch has come undone 😡😫 what to do? Also, I think my therapists consultant psychiatrist thinks I have OCD... I was not expecting that
21 stitches later. The doctor was very lousy with the first cut, which was the deepest and biggest 😕
Most I'm going to do. Gonna put some headphones in and try to block the thoughts out. 😕
Had the stitches taken out while in hospital. Apparently it's not infected, I'm not too sure though.
Slowly healing with daily bandage changes and cleaning.
These are so pretty. I hope these leave big and thick scars.
Is there a reason these scars are so dark? Also, I think that cut is infected. Opinions?
Just a little bit.
Got to this one and then got busted.
Lol eleven thirty and I'm doing this good job me
I just ruined my relationship with my big sister and my mum is being a bitch. I just want to kill myself. I don't want to fucking be here. I don't even have anything sharp enough to hit fat.
Wow... I take off my bandage to...this.. It is so fucking itchy. I thought my glue job on the stitches was bad 😫 I was literally moaning at the nurses and the doctor that I don't think glue will hold it and that it needs stitches. But noooo don't listen to me. I just want to cry.
Just a couple to quiet the thoughts. I really want to cut deep again but I don't want to go back to hospital...
My left and right arm are so scarred...
Ordered these two days ago, and they're already here! 😁
Just got home from hospital and my therapist and psychiatrist appointment. I got some sleeping medication. Some sort of melatonin medicine starting with ca I think? And also promethazine if I need to calm myself to be able to sleep.
All ripped off. I'll have some nice large scars. I hope it gets infected though, I'll let it kill me. I don't even care.
Before cleaning up. My councillors consultant who is a psychiatrist talked to me today, with a cognitive therapist with him. He wants to start me on antidepressants within the next week, and give me sleeping pills. Idk how to feel about it.
Woohoooooo I just love being forgotten about because I'm a forgettable and pathetic piece of shit. 👏🏻👌🏻
Starting to run out of space for the amount of times I've been an idiot.
Three AM and my new blade slices with ease At one point I'm going to use this blade a lot
I'm honestly so fucking done now. My best friend Rhi told me that she loves my ex. She says he looks, talks and acts like her dead ex stalker. It's so complicated. She has had a really rough life and he rejected her.Now she's telling me she's going to kill herself.She's my will to live. Idk anymore.
Are these worth going to hospital for?
The doctors boss did the glueing and he did it so messy. 😩 He didn't even clean up from the stitches before.
Has anyone else's doctor put glue with stitches? I can't take my fucking bandage off because the glue has stuck to the bandage!!
Three. I wonder how many I can do in total.
Two deepest I did right now. Apparently it's now pass the parcel on who gets the mentally disabled kid...
Well looks like I've officially fucked up my right arm.
I remember why I don't put my heart into friendships.
Back at home from the hospital, finally out of the ward. It felt like an eternity. Eighteen stitches total and extra glue just for the safe side. Anyone know when it's safe to take the bandage off? This thing is fucking annoying and I think the stitches are sticking to it.
It looks like a old man face haha
Just a few to quiet the mind I keep getting urges to cut my face
Should I be concerned? I cleaned it afterwards and got a bit of the 'oozing' out.
It's not that bad.. I want to continue...
Let's see how many of these I can do.. I'm so done..
I just realised that when I was in hospital, I had to talk to two of the random therapist people. They know my psychiatrist cause they're part of the same place. They said that he was thinking of giving me some medication to slow my thoughts. Haven't heard it from him yet though.
Bunnies have escaped. Got one but the other one is hiding in bushes. Now my mum wants to rehome them. Fuck everything just gets worse.
Apparently this is better than fucking stitches to the best consultant doctor in the hospital. I was crying infront of the nurse and telling her this isn't right. The nurse was nice though. I'm ripping this off. I feel outright offended.
I've been smoking so much. I've barely been at school, which means I might end up in care. If I do I'm just going to kill myself before they get the chance. I'm scared of going to psychotherapy and my life is just a mess. I don't see a point anymore.
I'm a pin cushion! The other pin is for size.
I want to go buy a pack of razors but I'm so afraid I'm going to be denied and get embarrassed.
Even more styros. I have some tea tree oil, can that help in the healing of cuts?
Bruises. I'm so fed up. I don't feel like I'm even alive anymore, this all seems like some sick joke on me. My life has fallen apart already and somehow it's falling apart beyond my imagination.