My girlfriend wanted to get a cat, but I didn't, so we compromised and got half a cat.5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/funny
You're not in charge anymore. We've elected Ham Bone our leader. And he says it's dinner time. NOW.5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/funny
Bad News: She doesn't look anything like her Tinder photos. Good News: She's way cuter.5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/funny
Oh my god, they found me! I don't know how, but they found me! Run for it, Marty!5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/funny
Conch snail knows what you're thinking. Conch snail doesn't like it.5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/dontputyourdickinthat
Great way to make everyone at the gym think you've peed yourself5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/CrappyDesign
Grandpa began to regret covering the tuition for Reggie's performance art degree5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/WTF
Giraffes evolved their long necks to help them survive in even the deepest Arctic snow5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Maybe start with a smaller cephalopod and work your way up?5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/WhitePeopleTwitter
In Total Recall (1990), the guards have fancy scifi wrist computers that are really just calculators5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/MovieDetails
The guards in Total Recall (1990) had fancy scifi wrist computers that were just calculators5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/Thatsabooklight
Unlike most fruits, chickens can be harvested late into the winter.5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
The Fusilli Sheep is highly prized for its delicious horns. Harvesting a single bowl of pasta takes two hours and over nine dozen sheep.5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Kittens make great magician's assistants, and tend to purr loudly during the sawed in half trick5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Ladybugs can communicate with humans by writing messages on frosted glass. This ladybug's message translates to Let me in, I'm freezing my tits off out here.5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/ShittyAnimalFacts
I don't care what the sign says. If you're talented enough to do that, go for it.5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/funnysigns
The side of giraffes THEY don't want you to see! They tried to hide it, but you can clearly see this animal is plugged in to recharge!5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/Giraffesdontexist
Well, that's not suspicious at all. The sign might as well read Alien Abduction Bait.5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/funnysigns
On every group project, there's always one guy that just throws shit together at the last minute5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/thereifixedit
This Bluetooth keyboard that looks like an old fashioned typewriter5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/IWantItSoBad
A bus taking hopeful actors to late night Guardians of the Galaxy auditions (2012)5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/fakehistoryporn
This is the worst restaurant I've ever been to. Absolutely terrible. Three stars.5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/funnysigns
After that, it's Reggie's turn to cook. Reggie doesn't wash his hands.5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/funnysigns
It wasn't me, officer! It was the tiny baby! He's evil, I tell ya!5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/funnysigns
Oh Lord, should I go to the gym? Send me a sign! ...Meh, probably just a coincidence.5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/funnysigns
Supposedly giraffes are 15 to 20 feet tall. Then how is this guy the same height as a giraffe? Do they expect us to believe in giants, too?!?5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/Giraffesdontexist
Villagers look on in horror as Vincent van Gogh awakens and begins yet another day of stomping on the French countryside. The 900-foot giant's rage could only be placated with gifts of art supplies. He was finally defeated by Godzilla and Paul Gauguin's steam-powered mech suit. (1890, Colorized)5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/fakehistoryporn
SLPT: If it's illegal to buy brass knuckles in your area, you can always make your own5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/ShittyLifeProTips
SLPT: What to say when a job interviewer says Describe yourself in five words5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/ShittyLifeProTips
Has my coffee application been approved yet? I'm getting really thirsty...5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/funnysigns
SLPT: Mildly obscene wedding photos are a great way to make sure you'll never be asked to visit your new in-laws5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/ShittyLifeProTips
The first train of thought is derailed, resulting in a... um... what was I saying? (1804)5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/fakehistoryporn
Earth is visited by a giant, alien face that demands humanity Show me what you got! (1886)5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/fakehistoryporn
SLPT: Stuffy nose? If you don't have a Neti pot, a ripe banana works just as well.5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/ShittyLifeProTips
During World War II, the Resource Rationing Program limited babies to one diaper change per month (1942)5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/fakehistoryporn
In Star Wars, the bartender at the Mos Eisley Cantina says we don't serve their kind here, while pointing directly at the camera. This implies that you, the viewer, are the real monster, and you should be ashamed for what you did.5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/shittymoviedetails
My favorite restaurant failed their health inspection today. Apparently they left the mayo out.5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/ShittyPhotoshop
Dental training mannequin looks like it has a healthy set of chompers5yr ⋅ Mouthmouthmouth ⋅ r/dontputyourdickinthat
