I'm rubber, you're glue

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Keeps the stank in

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People actually being nice on facebook for a change

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I slipped on pee-pee at the Costco

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Roses are red, forget your troubles

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It is tho

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I like my coffee very, very hot

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The new fragrance from Dior

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Imagine being this much of a fucking whiner

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We're Investiga-Awesome!

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What's a haiku?

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Hoping Tastefully Done becomes a thing

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Pull the trigger

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Madonna is a pervert, My morality is torn

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Judi's not playing around

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So I’m a racist because I don’t want a remake of The Mask. My best friend is green!

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They had us in the first half, not gonna lie

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Wait a minute... I'M BLIND!

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It was sad when the news broke, and today it still hurts

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