u/leeceia

78 results (0.07 seconds)

Want a guy to not cheat on you? It's simple - just date a guy WITHOUT A PENIS.

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How is pizza in bed a sex move...?

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I don't think cosmo gets humour or what a flirty text is.....

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Wait... why can't you just tell your partner how close you are? The rest seems so elaborate...

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Oh so you think he's cheating? GOOD lets steal his stuff, 'lose' his car, crush his balls and ruin his professional image XD lolololol

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Rub your nipples all over his foot and arsehole... Sexy

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[TP] Thin privilege is not having to go to hospital for chocolate cravings.

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He texts you? FRIENDZONED

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This just in guys, second base is no longer handjobs and is now retweeting the guy, and imagining the horrific divorce.

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Thanks Cosmo, but I'm pretty sure I really didn't need to see fan art of 50 shades of grey....

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I love sneaking into a muddy flower bed, being sprayed by large, forceful amounts of gross water and losing my footing in the dark. Good Plan Cosmo

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Anybody else find that they fit none of these catagories when it comes to orgasm noises? I guess I'm not a possum in pain then....

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Apparently, Cosmo bickers with their partners just under 7 times a day! They're the perfect people to take relationship advice from!

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This just in! He's only going down on you because he's insecure :O On the plus side, at least he thinks you're attractive

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Cosmo writers, how do you live if you're turned on by almost everything?

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The entire reason your sex life is shit - throw pillows. Bonus weirdness Going at it like a hobo on a ham sandwich and Wires are like tiny sex-annihilating snakes

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Want to know his penis size? THROW A PEN AT HIS DICK.

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Apparently dating Jewish guys is just a phase to get over in college... But hey, free food!

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Apparently, sex with a one night stand is the only time you can really get off, because you don't have to get your partner off....?

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How Cosmo women masturbate - with a chocolate bar apparently.

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COSMO. READ THE STUDIES YOU'RE LINKING. Those 200 calories burned weren't burned in 2.5 minutes, they were burned in a 25 minute high intensity interval training program, where you SPRINTED for 2.5 minutes, with a little break, for a total of 25 minutes. VERY different.

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So apparently, your boyfriend isn't actually capable of paying you a compliment without meaning something else. Fucking awesome job cosmo.

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Looks like cosmo might have a sense of humour after all.

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This is OBVIOUSLY the reason guys cheat. Not that I'm bat-shit insane and keep trying to juice his penis.

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Happy (very belated) valentines day from Cosmo!

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Stop the presses, you mean he WAS checking her out!!!! :O I don't know why that's a secret...

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Cosmo has some really weird playlist mixes, and none of it seems very S&M. Ain't nothing like being whipped to kings of leon or radiohead.

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I think someone should tell this guy that the straps on those shoes are sewed on and hence can't be used for bondage :'(

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Your new work out motivation - Alcoholism! Drink up for those perfect abs! (The study they linked to specifically asked people didn't use drinking as a exercise boost)

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Thanks askmen! Surely the best way to get my girlfriend to lose weight IS to propose to her!

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Cosmo - Brilliant at understanding the male species way of communication.

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I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE. I WANT POONEYWOONEY TO ACTUALLY BE SLANG FOR PENIS.

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Wait... You get so invested in celebrity relationships you are heartbroken when that happens? I'm pretty sure that's abnormal, writer from cleo

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Because your hair thickness is always the first and foremost factor in you having a successful first date

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Tara tries.... And fails to teach you how to give a hand job. Just pretend his dick is an orange and then squeeze the crap out of it,

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Maybe he's been fucking you for an hour and he's tired, and THAT'S why he rolled away.

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What's the biggest deal breaker with a girl? Intelligence.

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Mad about something? Give him the silent treatment! Also, anyone else think that that doesn't mean you're communicating well?

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Gents! Eat a chocolate modelled of the asshole of a real lady!

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Well shit, puppies now equals BABIES

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Cosmo says it's good not wanting to change your man, links to an article about changing your man.

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You can now earn $50 by letting cosmo decode your body language - if only we knew how to enter it (link in comments)

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Anybody else think you should go to an art gallery or to a concert or a coffee shop because you want to, and not because you're on the hunt for a man?

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Overanalyzing!!! Seriously. Can a man not just drink his beer in peace?

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Guys, are you really not a fan of girl on top?

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While they don't actually suggest you knee him in the crown jewels, the idea is low-balled in there....

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Sigh. Yes because a bad boyfriend is exactly the same as an abusive boyfriend. And yup another worrying mention of Chris Brown and abuse.

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Does anyone else feel that art is not really that sexy?

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Guess cosmo watches Archer!

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Women are obviously better than men because we don't die horribly in car crashes.... Look can we just not turn the traumatic deaths of people into a gender battle?

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Want to have a good relationship? Stay thin. Cosmo tells you you don't have to lose weight (maybe?) while linking to weight loss articles.

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How often does cosmo think you run into these kinds of people?

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And I thought it was normal to split the check...

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Wooooo! Sex exorcist style! Or contortionist style? or just plain fucking difficult style?

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Let me just clear this up for you cosmo. Missing ANY day of your pill will increase your chances of pregnancy. PLEASE do not say it's only the first day that matters.

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[f/19] SW-75.7kg (167lbs) CW - 64kg (141lbs) = loss of 11.7kg (26lbs). Where do I go from here - more to lose?

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So apparently ice cream flavours signal sexual compatibility now. Well thanks for clearing that up Men's Health.

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Cosmo. Just because people get back together, doesn't mean the relationship is better, or that they won't run into the same issues. Bonus, even the cosmo readers think this is WTF. Full article in comments.

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How to look rude and inappropriate in front of his friends! PDAs have a place people!

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Now Cosmo says he must be open to changing for you. Doesn't realise agreeing to share interests isn't changing for someone, nor that the girl must also be a little flexible.

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Rubber ducky, you're the one. You make bath time so much fun!

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Ladies and Gents. Confirmation from their website. Their sex tips are literally made by picking household objects out and sticking them where the sun don't shine. Or trying to sexily wear it. Or put it near your boyfriends face or something....

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Pretty sure that's the same move cosmo, I am disappointed.

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So that's what's happening at the Cosmo office! I, too, am normally given bondage gear by my boss

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Does anyone else think this just looks way too awkward?

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His penis is not robbing a bank. You do not need to put stockings on it, Cosmo. Also, anyone else find that nylon can be pretty fucking painful up close and personal with certain areas?

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