Billy thinks he's on an episode of The Office

6yr ⋅ ⋅

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I know you like clowns so I made you this bed. Now you can LAUGH yourself to sleep!

8yr ⋅

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I know you can read MY thoughts, Boy: Meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

10yr ⋅

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It's not Batman!

10yr ⋅

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Oh, yeah? So what am I supposed to do, be more like you? All sealed up in here, emotionally unavailable, paying scrub women for sexual favours?! No! Jerry! I won't be like you! Never! I'll never be like you!

7yr ⋅

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Gonna paint your wagon, gonna paint it fine. Gonna use oil-based paint, 'cause the wood is pine.

10yr ⋅

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Eww, Mr. Apple, you have a brown spot!

7yr ⋅

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You find yourself in the kitchen, you see an eclair in the receptacle, and you think to yourself, What the hell, I'll just eat some trash

8yr ⋅

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You can stay, but I'M LEAVING

8yr ⋅

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Just wanted to remind you all that, even in small roles like this, Gary Oldman is a stud

8yr ⋅

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Thank goodness he's drawn attention away from my shirt.

8yr ⋅

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I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry? Marriage?! Family?!... They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time!

8yr ⋅

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...

7yr ⋅

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Malk?

10yr ⋅

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Can we talk about how weird and uncomfortable this conversation was?

6yr ⋅

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A low rumble. A metallic squink. A galonk. And someone crying out, Dear God!

8yr ⋅

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Given the new Executive Order, it's a good thing Chandler didn't go to Yemen

7yr ⋅

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Guess who likes you.

8yr ⋅

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Samantha, ne pas de boys!

8yr ⋅

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Hey, Surly only looks out for one guy: Surly. Oh, sorry, Surly. Shut up.

10yr ⋅

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Get a good look, Costanza?

8yr ⋅

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Hey, mellow out old dudes or I'll jam this baby into a river!

8yr ⋅

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Hello Mr. Kurns

8yr ⋅

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Ya know, sometimes I just can't help but feel bad for this guy

6yr ⋅

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Nine hundred dollari-doos?!

8yr ⋅

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It took me way too long to realize Chandler Bing is a Jays fan

7yr ⋅

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Captain's log, Stardate 6051: Had trouble sleeping last night. My. Hiatal hernia is. Acting up. The ship is drafty and. Damp. I complain but. Nobody listens.

8yr ⋅

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I'm gonna come in there and corpse you up! Corpse you up and mail you to Mama!

10yr ⋅

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I want to go to Mount Splashmore! Take me! Take me! Take me! Take me NOW!

8yr ⋅

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ohhhhhh! yeah, the taxes! the finger thing means the taxes!

10yr ⋅

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That is the rarest Gummi of them all, The Gummi Venus de Milo, carved by Gummi artisans who work exclusively in the medium of Gummi

8yr ⋅

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Barclay. Barry. Bert. Bort?

10yr ⋅

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Now, I must tell you kids, Krusty has laryngitis and a bad back, so he won't be saying anything or doing anything

8yr ⋅

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Oh yes, and don't forget to BURN your house, because none of those things could exist without six white stripes, seven red stripes, and a helluva lotta stars!

10yr ⋅

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Don't worry, Marge. her idea of wit is nothing more than an incisive observation humourously phrased and delivered with impeccable timing.

10yr ⋅

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You're the birthday, you're the birthday, you're the birthday boy OR girl!

8yr ⋅

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...Such as...?

8yr ⋅

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Hope this place is more successful than The Dream Cafe

8yr ⋅

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The very words I live by...

10yr ⋅

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...Not only that, I broke his thumbs!

7yr ⋅

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Now you're just being difficult

7yr ⋅

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George, letting my emotions out was the best thing I've ever done. Sure I'm not funny anymore, but there's more to life than making shallow, fairly-obvious observations.

7yr ⋅

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Look at the weak, little baby! You're stupid, you stupid, weak baby!

8yr ⋅

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Ooohhhhhh, my ovaries!!

8yr ⋅

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It's the 1st of February. Prepare to be Smarch'd.

8yr ⋅

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Well, that's the last time I announce my dinner plans in class.

10yr ⋅

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Death Blow: When someone tries to blow you up, not because of who you are, but for different reasons altogether

7yr ⋅

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New Orleans! Stinking, rotten, vomity, vile. New Orleans!

8yr ⋅

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Sassertive AF

7yr ⋅

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Mmmm, 64 slices of American cheese.

10yr ⋅

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Hey, I'm trying to eat lunch here!

10yr ⋅

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Well he's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy...

10yr ⋅

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I said, step, pause, turn, pause, pivot, step, STEP. Not, step, pause, turn, pause, pivot, step, PAUSE.

8yr ⋅

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I'm feelin' kinda low, Apu. Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? Ya know, Skittlebrau?

10yr ⋅

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Hey Buddy

8yr ⋅

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Miss Simpson, do you find something funny about the word tromBONER?

8yr ⋅

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Watching the Jays vs. Orioles game and can't help but think of, Cotton huh?...You may have something there, George

8yr ⋅

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Excuse me! Am I talking to YOU, Pinhead?! Am I?!

7yr ⋅

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The exports of Libya are numerous in amount. One thing they export is corn, or, as the Indians call it, maize. Another famous Indian was, Crazy Horse. In conclusion, Libya is a land of contrast. Thank you.

8yr ⋅

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It's tough keeping your feet dry, when kicking in a skull

8yr ⋅

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Simpson Scandal Update: Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent, which he believes gives him sexual powers!

8yr ⋅

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Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers. We don't know. Frankly, we don't wanna know.

10yr ⋅

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You shot who in the what now?

8yr ⋅

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The garage? Hey fellas, the garage! Well oh lahdeedah, Mr. French man.

10yr ⋅

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Teacher made me go to Principal Skinner's office when I was dirty.

10yr ⋅

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You are my brother. I love you. And yet, I feel a great sadness in my bosom.

10yr ⋅

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What ever happened to, “Why, that's a lovely dress you have on. MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE?!

7yr ⋅

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Hello, Mr. Kurns. I bad want money now. Me sick.

10yr ⋅

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Hark to the tale of Nelson and the boy he loved so dear...

10yr ⋅

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*gasp* Oh my god! This man is my exact double! *Gasp* That dog has a puffy tail!

10yr ⋅

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Hey, you! Come back here! COME BACK HERE AND PUT THIS ON!

7yr ⋅

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This sound.

10yr ⋅

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Lisa, is that food too spicy for you?

10yr ⋅

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Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Cubert, Phil.

10yr ⋅

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Okay, half of you vibrate that way. Two of you fall down. Nelson, you just spin around in a circle.

10yr ⋅

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Right on, Mr. S!

10yr ⋅

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Pfft, that's in Juvenile. This is Young Adult.

10yr ⋅

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I'd like to request seventeen dollars for a push broom re-bristling.

10yr ⋅

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Star Trek XII: So Very Tired

10yr ⋅

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Sweet Enola Gay, son! Get moving or I'll tear you up like a Kleenex at a...*sigh*...snot party

8yr ⋅

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Moldy?! Old?! I'm gonna get something to eat!

10yr ⋅

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Wee I'm Dick Tracy! BAM! Take that, Prune Face! Now I'm Prune Face. Take that Dick Tracy! Now I'm Prune Tracey!

10yr ⋅

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There once was a robot named Rod

10yr ⋅

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Homer had a piece of food on his face...for three days! It wasn't little either, it was a chicken wing.

10yr ⋅

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Attention Marge Simpson, we have also arrested your older, balder, fatter son

8yr ⋅

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But we already did it. It took seven hours but we did it. It's done.

10yr ⋅

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Look, fellas! It's Lisa in the sky! No diamonds, though.

10yr ⋅

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It SMELLS. It smells BAD. It smells REALLY bad.

7yr ⋅

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I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun

10yr ⋅

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Looks like Matt Damon has been using some Dimoxinil

8yr ⋅

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It's a ring toss game.

10yr ⋅

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Let's just say it moved me...TO A BIGGER HOUSE!

10yr ⋅

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Can I come too? *rolls up window*

10yr ⋅

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The whipped group, the congealed group and the chocotastic!

10yr ⋅

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Do you need this in a bag? Nah, I'm good

10yr ⋅

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Shut up! Shut up! Kiss my butt!

10yr ⋅

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I'd like to ask you a few questions: 1) Where's the fife? and 2) Gimme the fife.

10yr ⋅

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l figure it's some guy's name. Some guy named Gabbo.

10yr ⋅

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Prinskipper Skippel! Primdable Skimpsker! I found something!

10yr ⋅

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