Looks like somebody's got a little lead in his shoes No. No, my shoes are fine, I assure you, they're made from the finest Italian leather, and the fit is perfect therefore there would be no room for lead1yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/IASIP
Here's your pizza I'd say, I didn't order any they'd say and then I'd be off to my next adventure3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/futurama
Who are you, old man? Name's Old Man Waterfall, but most folk call me Old Man I'll never remember that3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/futurama
With Better Call Saul finishing tomorrow night, I can't wait to finally watch it in reverse and start the next treasure hunt1yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/americandad
I'll take the gills yes, gills. Then you don't need lungs anymore? Can't imagine why I would2yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/futurama
Back then, I had this teacher Mrs. Wilson. Except we had this funny little nickname for her, we called her Mrs. Kill-son cos she had an abortion3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/familyguy
Now, colin farrell, I was talking to my wife dixie and she said you weren't a very good actorrr and I agreed with herrrr3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/familyguy
I'll have to stop you there, I work for the nerd squad. The nerd brigade wishes they were the nerd squad. I'll be here fixing you TV right the first time, on Thanksgiving. You know what I'm thankful for, that I work for the best damn home theater installation company in town, the nerd squad2yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/americandad
Are you sure, judge? Are you sure it wasn't all evil and grainy and black and white, think about it2yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/familyguy
You're my best friend Fry, I'm sorry I treated you so badly Apology accepted, after all, you're only human3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/futurama
In s04e07 marge gets a job, homer asks marge to get his gun, but in season 9 episode 5 the cartridge family they act like homer is getting a gun for the first time. What are we supposed to believe this is some kind of magic gun? Boy I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/simpsonsshitposting
My doctor said I got to lose 50 pounds, I said well I'm losing you, that's 200 pounds right there1yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/americandad
Hey mom, shalom, it's me Snot. I got into NASA medical school. If they have phones on Mars I'll call ya, bye3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/americandad
I think I'm getting dizzy from your wine I think I'm getting dizzy from your fine2yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/americandad
Just do women's comedy stuff. Talk about how fat you are, how you want to have set with guys and say my vagina a lot.3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/southpark
Tomorrow I'm playing golf with senator Buckingham. At his golf club. The same one Brooke Hogan belongs to. Her father is Paul Hogan, professional golfer, brother of Hulk Hogan. I don't think any of that's right.3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/americandad
Watched the first 3 seasons and this seems to happen just about every week with Barry3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/FlashTV
Reminder that these guys and their colleagues essentially caused the end of the world by being so bad at their jobs1yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/westworld
I just wish we could get this Bender I keep hearing about, they say he's the greatest3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/futurama
Modern Family (Ariel Winter and Sofia Vergara) vs 2 broke girls (Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs)1yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/CelebBattles
Am I the only one who thought George's beep beep beep was great and not embarrassing like jerry thought3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/seinfeld
I thought you were made of wax I am made of wax whats it to you I mean I thought you were one of the robots is there some reason a robot made of wax can't take a nap standing up in the middle of a bunch of wax robots, or does that confuse you?3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/futurama
I see you like cutting the eyes out of photos of women. My son is a big fan of that too3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/southpark
Had to blow up the kitchen Frannie, goes real well with this thing I'm imagining4yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/americandad
Why can't DCMS be an arm of BEIS? Lots of reasons, rishi, but also, sort of none1yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/MitchellAndWebb
Battle of the boobs: Kat Dennings vs Katy Perry vs Sofia Vergara vs Ariel Winter1yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/CelebBattles
I think they'll go all the way to seventeen Seventeen? Ocean's seventeen?2yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/americandad
Probably the scene that best sums up marks character. Think I might have a pretty good hand, though there's always the chance someone else might have a better one3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/MitchellAndWebb
Dad, old people have their place in society Yeah, it's called a coffin3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/americandad
Mr Burns with we'll get back our ... dental plan is one of the best line deliveries in the show1yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Boy kids today, back in my day we didn't need to dream of cutting meat, we would just chop our own dicks off1yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/NormMacdonald
I am here to purchase a Vogner Charking Imperial, my satisfaction depends on it3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/KingOfTheHill
Oh I think I get it, if you don't want to see his dick but he shows you it anyway, that's a prank3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/IASIP
So if we're deadlocked we'll be sequestered at the Springfield Palace Hotel. Where we'll get a free room, free food, free swimming pool. Free HBO. Ooh. Free Willy3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
You're talking to the guy who got off and back on prescription painkillers four times6yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/americandad
You should never have let me do that tv guide cover. I looked like an asshole3yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/curb
Are you really asking that to the guy who just last week killed 6 people over 19 dollars5yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/americandad
Don't worry about correcting me in front of a plane full of assholes, cos I checked my sensitivity at the gate6yr ⋅ jm9987690 ⋅ r/americandad
