u/jackviator

About 416 results (0.06 seconds)

If more adults were nearly as good at cutting through prejudiced bullshit as the average kid is, the world would be much better off.

4d ⋅ ⋅

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‘Tis the one-year-anniversary of one of the best April Fool’s day pranks of all time.

2wk ⋅

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Quick parenting tip: Remember to puree one to two donuts (preferably organically grown in an FDA-approved donut orchard) a day to mix into their formula, so as to keep them happy and healthy.

3wk ⋅

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“Anon,” 2013, colorized

2wk ⋅

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In my honest opinion, a FAR better use of their time.

3wk ⋅

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This is one small shot for man, one giant .50 caliber BMG anti-material shot for mankind.

3wk ⋅

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Show of hands; who else is on this list at least 5 times?

2yr ⋅

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Ah, the classic “A boy and his demon/fae/magical girl/deity/dragon/etc. gf” plot.

4d ⋅

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#LifeGoals, am I right?

1yr ⋅

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OP’s dad knows exactly what they want in life.

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Humans are already basically elves to animals like dogs (lifetimes far exceeding their own, capable of feats impossible for them, etc), but to bugs? We’re eldritch abominations. 🪱

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1mo ⋅

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“Clearly YOU don’t own a $3000 3D modeling desktop computer + 3D printer setup”

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“I swear on my life guys, this drawing is ESSENTIAL for a proper diagnosis”

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The human mind is the mental equivalent of the “brown note” for xeno species capable of telepathy/mind-reading.

5mo ⋅

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“Devilishly Talented,” by Inky Rickshaw.

2yr ⋅

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Humans are unusually nonchalant- even comfortable- living alongside horrific species and entities that most others would likely outright FLEE from.

7mo ⋅

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Humans will usually adhere to the letter of the law, but will almost never adhere to the spirit; much to the chagrin of anyone whose job it is to enforce rules or laws.

1mo ⋅

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Never leave human juveniles unattended for any extended length of time. NEVER. ...They are just as, if not more prone to causing chaos as their adult counterparts.

11mo ⋅

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Humans are taller than many other sapient species of the galaxy, which can make cohabitation difficult at times.

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Hector deserves A+++++++

2yr ⋅

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One is literally named “RADAGON’S Rings of Light” ffs

1yr ⋅

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🎶 A spoonful of brimstone helps the medicine go down... 🎵

1yr ⋅

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Humans have a profound ability for finding beauty and entertainment in the little things.

1yr ⋅

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Human courtship rituals are, more often than not, quite unusual.

1yr ⋅

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The dreams of the vast majority species are rather mundane. Humans, on the other hand- ...well, let’s just say that you’d better hope there are no psychic species nearby, else they’ll need HEAVY therapy.

7mo ⋅

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Dung Eater would obviously murder his maiden pretty much immediately, but what about the rest?

1yr ⋅

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Humans have a tendency to experience extreme, unpredictable emotional overreactions to certain events.

8mo ⋅

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More often than not, humans are bluntly (sometimes even BRUTALLY) honest, in sharp contrast to most typically more tactful species.

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Humans generally take a different, more performance-focused approach to cybernetic enhancement as opposed to most other species’ focus on aesthetics.

1yr ⋅

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The main reason humans are so strange to the rest of the galaxy is that they can get used to ANYTHING, no matter how abnormal. ...Up to and including eldritch entities, that most species would outright flee from.

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Humans have vastly different attitudes towards the various life forms on their planet, often having an incredibly hostile and aggressive outlook towards species that are comparably minuscule and not usually a threat to the average human’s (in)famous durability.

9mo ⋅

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Humans are far less routine-oriented than many space-faring species generally are, making it difficult for said species to comfortably cohabitate with them.

3mo ⋅

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Many humans know of the stereotypes xenos often associate with them. While some humans are offended by them, others actually lean into it by straight-up making up behaviors unusual even to other humans, and acting like they’re common among humanity when around xenos.

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Humans are unfortunately often ostracized by over-cautious xenos who’ve heard of their- shall we say, ”social abnormalities.” ...This, in turn, leads most humans to be far more accepting of other “outcast” or “misfit” species of the galaxy.

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Human engineers are lauded for (and also often cause much annoyance with) their insistence on multiple redundant safety measures in EVERYTHING they make.

1yr ⋅

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Humans are very good at designing simple, yet VERY potent solutions to otherwise difficult problems, be it a brilliant invention or creative punishment for unruly xeno colleagues.

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You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. ...Or at least one really, REALLY big one.

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Humans have a habit of putting themselves at lethal risk for INCREDIBLY pointless reasons.

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Some consider humans to be a minor hive-mind, as they share an almost imperceptible telepathic link to one another, linking their species as a whole together. This manifests as odd phenomena like random bouts of “depression” and “deja vu,” concepts foreign to most other species.

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In retrospect, giving humanity’s engineers access to antigravity fields, FTL drives, and other such super-advanced technology may have been a mistake, given all the questionable things they chose to do with it...

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Humans often express their love in rather unorthodox ways.

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Despite their well-earned reputation for ruthlessness and durability in battle against other species foolish enough to declare war with them, humans are more likely than most to adopt and dote on out-of-species children.

6mo ⋅

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Humans often prep for extremely unlikely or even seemingly impossible scenarios, baffling their xeno colleagues. That is, up until said scenarios actually end up happening.

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If a human claims that they are conducting “experiments,” it is a good rule of thumb/claw/tentacle to evacuate the area and immediately contact the local authorities, for the sake of both your safety and that of the human in question.

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...All I know is that regardless of which flavor of apocalypse we got, said Waffle House would absolutely remain open both during and after it.

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Humans love trash-talking their enemies (doubly so when it’s directly to their face), and they are ENDLESSLY creative in how their mockery manifests itself.

3mo ⋅

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If one somehow earns a human’s loyalty, one should also prepare themselves for the mental and emotional strain of knowing just how far they will go if they find out you have somehow been wronged.

1yr ⋅

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Humans are unusually comfortable working alongside and hiring species with vastly different biology and general appearance to their own, in contrast to other xeno races that generally favor species with similar appearances to their own.

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Humans always seem to come up with incredibly bizarre names for their various foods.

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Humans are well-known for their sturdiness and martial prowess in traditional warfare. ...What is often overlooked is their prowess in psychological warfare, to the point that they often don’t NEED to resort to violence to get what they want; be it in war or everyday life.

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She probably sells garlic bread too.

2yr ⋅

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In comparison to most other species, humans measure success very... differently.

1yr ⋅

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Recognizing your limitations isn’t weakness; it’s wisdom.

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If you die in war, pray that it is not whilst fighting against humans, because they utilize psychological warfare in the cruelest of ways: they design their weapons with the intent of HUMILIATING their foes.

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Humans are often found to have a peculiar fondness for certain shapes.

1yr ⋅

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Humans will often pursue frankly batshit INSANE solutions to ethical dilemmas.

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Mummy... or daddy? ;)

1yr ⋅

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It is incredibly easy to motivate a human to action: Simply point them in the general direction of something they have full permission to destroy. Be it with some type of bludgeoning instrument, the use of explosives, or their own hands.

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While humans are well-known by the galactic community for their emotional outbursts, some choose to channel their negative emotions in decidedly unexpected ways.

1yr ⋅

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The term “wolf whistle” has never been more applicable.

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When dealing with humans, one must remember to be VERY precise when fulfilling any requests they make that include specific details, lest you incur their wrath.

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Despite their well-known capacity for sheer willpower, humans are surprisingly easy to manipulate.

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Given their species’ infamous propensity for keeping a frankly LUDICROUS variety of pets, you should generally trust that a human knows what they’re doing with an animal that has survived in their care for a while. Even if their behavior is... shall we say, “extremely unusual.”

5mo ⋅

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Humans can (and WILL, for that matter) attribute sentient and “cute” characteristics to anything. ...Even expensive, lethally dangerous accidents.

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Humans are usually surprisingly nonchalant/accepting about their physical disabilities, to the point of frequently using self-deprecation humor- often to the chagrin of their (usually far more tactful) xeno colleagues.

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Humans have a tendency towards using names that don’t accurately reflect what they’re meant to represent- be it a horrific name for something harmless, a pleasant name for something vile, or naming the third murderous apex predator they’ve tried to adopt that month “Mr. Fluffybottom.”

11mo ⋅

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Humans in their natural, baseline state already have the potential to be maelstroms of chaos and destruction. ...That potential becomes an absolute certainty if a human becomes inebriated.

5mo ⋅

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It is a generally accepted fact by the galaxy at large that human-designed methods of transportation are typically... shall we say, less than safe.

1yr ⋅

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Humans are far more likely than other xeno races to adopt children from species outside of their own, even if they possess vastly different biological functions or other such quirks that might make them undesirable to most prospective parents.

1yr ⋅

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Humans are easily enraptured by relatively simple things. This is known among humans as the “magpie effect.” ...Or more colloquially, “SHINY!!!”

6mo ⋅

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Never underestimate just how much a human will allow their own pride to inconvenience them.

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Due to their homeworld’s death-world status, humans are almost always enthralled when visiting garden worlds that lack predatory fauna, due to the fauna that live there having no qualms whatsoever about approaching them.

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Due to humanity’s- ...shall we say, “reputation,” many xenos tend to flock to the nearest human when they require their “needs” satisfied. ...However, most of these xenos don’t account for the possibility that said humans may be an incompatible sexuality, asexual, or otherwise just not into them.

1mo ⋅

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Humans have a tendency towards expressing affection for their friends in extremely unusual ways, to the point that it sometimes seems downright counterintuitive to outside observers from other species.

1yr ⋅

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Certain, more barbaric species often utilize physical torture to get information from captured enemies. In contrast, humans are infamous for getting it through- ...shall we say, more “creative” methods, that are instead targeted at the subject’s psyche.

7mo ⋅

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Due to their rare status among sapients as omnivores, it is a rather common practice at meals with multi-species colleagues to give any humans present food you may find unappetizing or even inedible; chances are, at least one will be happy to oblige with “disposing” of it.

1yr ⋅

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Humans are infamous for being able to pack-bond with anything, but it’s important to keep in mind that the bond is real, unable to be broken by outside criticism or doubt. I pity any who would attempt to dispose of such creatures; they are doomed to learn the OTHER reasons humanity is infamous...

9mo ⋅

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Humans sometimes become overwhelmed by strong emotions in response to the strangest, most unexpected things, like simple facts about species of local fauna.

6mo ⋅

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It is often EXTREMELY frustrating to work alongside humans due to their tendency to miss the point/underlying meaning behind your words.

6mo ⋅

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Humans are far more likely to be accepting and tolerant of certain xeno species that other xenos rarely tolerate working alongside due to their vast biological differences, even if the differences in question are outright hazardous to those humans around them.

11mo ⋅

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In contrast to most other xeno species that draw inspiration from more wholesome emotions and concepts to reach their goals, by far the single most effective motivator for humans in all of existence is raw, unadulterated SPITE.

10mo ⋅

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The human brain comes up with quandaries that stump most xenos. ...Not because they couldn’t feasibly answer them, but because they’re exceptionally confused about WHY the human would even be thinking of such irrational things.

6mo ⋅

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Humans are uniquely susceptible to a phenomenon known as “road rage.” ...Thus, it is wise to never allow one to pilot any vehicle you are uncomfortable with being returned to you as a pile of scrap metal coated in blood that is not their own.

9mo ⋅

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“How to make friends in your 30s,” by Ian Dickens

2yr ⋅

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Humans’ infamous insatiable curiosity tends to get them into trouble more often than not, from awkward social faux pas to horrific disasters.

1yr ⋅

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It is generally considered unwise to look too deeply into human medical history if you have a weak stomach/gizzard/(insert digestive organs of choice here).

1yr ⋅

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Coexisting among humans carries many risks and things to keep in mind due to how dangerous and unpredictable they can be to those around them. ...However, one of the often overlooked details is how important it is to protect them from THEMSELVES.

1yr ⋅

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Humans can and will get over-attached/pack-bonded to inanimate objects and life forms, to the point that they often come up with- ...shall we say, “inventive” creations in an attempt to protect them.

1yr ⋅

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Humans have the rather odd habit of enjoying putting themselves into contraptions that simulate sensations one would typically associate with a near-death experience, maintained by the allegedly serially-under-qualified subgroup known as “carnies.”

1yr ⋅

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On a related note, LPT: spider creatures give great hugs due to how many arms they have.

3yr ⋅

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If Hell has to be hot, you may as well be productive about it.

2yr ⋅

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Time to get festive!

2yr ⋅

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Everyone needs a hobby.

2yr ⋅

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Humans will get competitive over ANYTHING.

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One should beware provoking the wrath of an elder human. Though they may often appear weak and decrepit on the surface, they more than make up for it by having LONG-since run out of, to quote, “fucks to give.”

10mo ⋅

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Humans experience emotions much more intensely than many species, leading to their infamous impulsivity and bouts of unstoppable rage and destruction, but also extreme emotional responses to things as minor as the physical appearance of life-forms around them.

3mo ⋅

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You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. ...Or at least a really, REALLY big one. (Art by Pocketss)

1yr ⋅

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Most historians of xeno species are utterly HORRIFIED when they learn of the many abhorrent things the various governments of Earth have been willing to inflict upon their own citizens without their knowledge or consent.

6mo ⋅

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They’re pretty chill. (Comic by Rory Blank)

2yr ⋅

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Despite their reputation for aggression and bloodshed, most humans are more often than not very willing to help you out if you ask, on one condition: it has to be for the right reasons. ...And gods help you if you’re foolish enough to lie about said reasons, as their reputation is still well-deserved...

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Humans are more likely than most xenos to adopt out of species. They are also known for finding ways to thrive in most any climate. Connect those two dots, and it’s VERY little surprise that humans often tolerate extreme climates for the sake of making their adopted children more comfortable.

10mo ⋅

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Humans have extremely odd preferences when seeking a potential mate, even looking for traits that would seem to be inherently negative to any outside observer. Traits such as a lack of cleanliness, being “crazy,” or a “bad boy/girl” (read: unlawful) are seen as attractive to some humans.

4mo ⋅

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Violent and disturbing ideas are not the only ways in which the average human’s infamous “intrusive thoughts” manifest themselves.

1yr ⋅

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Humans will go to extreme lengths, sometimes at great risk to themselves and/or those around them, to satisfy relatively pointless personal goals.

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Bee-lzebub, by u/Murvyn.

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