According to your background check, you've been in a mental institution.1mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Now, for my Woody Allen impression. I'm a neurotic nerd, who likes to sleep with little girls1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
This is nothing but dead, white male-bashing from a PC thug. It's women like you that keep the rest of us from landing a husband.8mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's got to be little Lisa Simpson, Springfield's answer to a QUESTION NO ONE ASKED!9mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I've never gone behind Mr. Burns' back before, but Sideshow Bob's ultra-conservative views conflict with my... choice of lifestyle1mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Your son was trespassing on my property and destroyed a very valuable stone gargoyle and... are you wearing a grocery bag?5mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Homer, that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile, attacked me again.1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
900 Dollar-Adoos?? Tobias!! Did you accept a six hour collect call from the states??1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Quit it! Quit it! Quit...you kids knock it off! Mama's watching her stories!10mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been to Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together.7mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Oh, Lisa, maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong, the important thing is that Veterans deserve a day to honor them!5mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
THATS IT! You people have stood in my way long enough, I’m going to clown college.2yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
It could not be more simple, Luanne. You want me to show this to the cat, and have the cat tell you what it is? 'Cause the cat's going to get it.11mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Shary Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old country. Then she got her eyesight back. Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for her!4mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Whee! I'm Dick Tracy!Bang! Take that Pruneface! Now I'm Pruneface, take that Dick Tracy! Now I'm Prune Tracy, take that Dick..2mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I don’t think we’re talking about love here - we’re talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Well, if it's a crime to love one's country, then I'm guilty. And if it's a crime to steal a trillion dollars from our government and hand it over to Communist Cuba, then I'm guilty of that too. And if it's a crime to bribe a jury, then so help me, I'll soon be guilty of that!1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Uhh, excuse me, Professor Brainiac, but I worked in a nuclear power plant for ten years and I think I know how a proton accelerator works.7mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Larry, you must meet our daughter, the debutante. She came out last spring.3mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Ralph Wiggum lost his shin guard! Hack the bone! Hack the bone!2yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
What advantages does this motor car have over say, a train? Which I could also afford4mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Eine Minute, eine Minute! Ach! Das Wagen-phone ist ein...Nuisancephone!9mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Helen Lovejoy, sure, she looks blonde, but I've heard cuffs and collar don't match, if you get my drift4mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Our last bachelor likes women who take their clothes off for money. Let's hear it for Moe!3wk ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
That John is the greatest guy in the world. We've got to have him and his wife over for drinks sometime.4mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
And, special awards go to the two students, who obviously had no help from their parents. Lisa Simpson & Ralph WigguM1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Lemme put it this way. I'm looking for my friend Bill. Have you seen any Bills around here?2wk ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
So I said to him, Look, buddy, your car was upside down when we got here”. And, as for your grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that!3yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
You've got to start selling this for more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition!5mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Hi. Um- Let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms a bottle of Old Harper, a couple of those panty shields and some illegal fireworks AND one of those disposable enemas. no, make it two.1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Sorry M.B., but I'm having trouble with this character. Is he supposed to have some kind of a neurological impairment, like Rain Man or Awakenings? I mean, what the hell am I doing here?!11mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Mr. Burns I’m afraid you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything.2yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Raise your left hock. Aerate! Raise your right hock. Aerate! Come on, people. I want to see more Theodore Roosevelts and less Franklin Roosevelts!3wk ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Okay, Marge, if anyone asks: You require 24-hour nursing care, Lisa's a clergyman, Maggie is seven people, and Bart was wounded in Vietnam.7mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Uh, excuse me. I'd like to request $17 for a push-broom rebristling.9mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
What’s so special about this game anyway? It’s just another chapter in the pointless rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville. They built a mini-mall, so we built a bigger mini-mall. They made the world’s largest pizza, so we burned down their city hall.4yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod. We’re both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis! But mine worked, damn it!3yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I'm sorry. I cannot divulge information about that customer's secret, illegal account.11mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
You know, most people don't know the difference between apple cider and apple juice, but I do! Here's a little trick to help you remember: If it's clear an' yella, you got juice there fellah; if it's tangy and brown you're in cider town! Now, there are two exceptions that...3yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, there's nothing to be alarmed about. Public school can be intimidating to a young child, particularly one with as many flamboyantly homosexual tendencies as your son.10mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Wait! I'm confused about the movie. So the cops knew that Internal Affairs was setting them up?1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Lisa, ordinarily I'd say you should stand up for what you believe in. But, you’ve been doing that a lot lately.4yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Well, no offense lady, but what you don’t know, could fill a warehouse.3yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
To all my friends in the path of Hurricane Ida, stay safe and make sure you get the ripest pineapple possible.2yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Hot tub? Media room? It's supposed to be a power plant, not Aunt Beulah's Bordello! Thank you, get out. NEXT.9mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Look, that kid's got bosoms! Who's got a wet towel? Come here you butterball9mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Sugar? Sure, here you go. Sorry it’s not in packages. Want some cream?1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
My fat ass when the waitress tries to grab my plate with 2 fries left on it.3yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/rupaulsdragrace
Now, I finally have time to do what I've always wanted, write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park, where Dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it Billy and the Cloneasaurus.3yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Mr.Burns, it was naive of you to think I would mistake this towns most prominent 104 year old, for one of my elementary school students.1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Homer, I can honestly say that was the best episode of Impy & Chimpy I've ever seen.6mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Well, he framed me for armed robbery. But, man I’m aching for that upper class tax cut.3yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Before he came out, what was your favorite hint towards Smithers sexuality?1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
And the 1997 Pontiac Astrowagon goes to the fan sitting in seat number 0001: C. Montgomery Burns1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Oh, I'm so embarrassed I wish there was a hole I could just crawl into and die.6mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Well, little girl, I've had lots of jobs in my day: whale-hunter, seal-clubber, president of the Fox network. And yes, like most people, I've dealt a little ivory.1mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
What advantages does this motorcar have... over, say, a train? Which I could also afford.11mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
All right, that's it! I've been scorched by Krusty before. I got a rapid heartbeat from his Krusty brand vitamins, my Krusty Kalculator didn't have a 7 or an 8, and Krusty's autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions. But this time, he's gone too far! WE WANT KRUSTY!1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Um, I'll have four Tax Burgers, one I.R.S.-wich - withhold the lettuce - three dependent-size sodas, and a FICA-ccino.2yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see... poison.1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Oh that... no. I was just grabbing a Gummi Venus de Milo that got stuck to your pants.8mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Homer, I've got a Fozzie of a Bear of a problem. Maude and her mother were visiting Tyre and Sidon the twin cities of the Holy Land. Well, they must have kneeled in the wrong place or prayed to the wrong God because, well, they're being held prisoner by militants of some sort.1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I'll have a Shirley-- No, a virgin-- No, make it a children's-- Oh, what the heck. You only live once. Give me a white wine spritzer. Spritzer--1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Father! Uncle Apu! A teacher was in the closet with the principal and he had as many arms as Vishnu and they were all very busy.6mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
The answer is no! What's wrong with this country? Can't a man walk down the street without being offered a job?11mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
That irresponsible oaf? A man who by all rights should have been killed dozens of times by now?9mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I'd like a single plum floating in perfume served in a man's hat.1mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I think it's great you're a teacher, Dad. So, will you be lecturing from a standardized text or using the more Socratic method of interactive class participation?6mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
This is the moment we've feared, people. Many of you thought it would never happen but I insisted we spend two hours every morning training for it. You all thought I was mad. Many of you requested to be transferred to another peanut factory.7mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Okay, Marge, if anybody asks, you require 24-hour nursing care, Lisa's a clergyman, Maggie is seven people and Bart was wounded in Vietnam.1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Yes, finally! I would like to return your quote-unquote Ultimate Belt.3mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I'm afraid all those players have retired and... passed on. In fact, your right fielder has been dead for 130 years.8mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Hello, Selma? Selma, my dear. How are ya? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Listen, shut up for a second. How would you like to marry Apu so he doesn't get deported?1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Aye, Shary Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old country. Then she got her eyesight back. Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for her!1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Oh, I see. Then everything is wrapped up in a neat little PACKAGE!2yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Quit it! Quit it! Quit...you kids knock it off! Mama's watching her stories!1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Ooh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane!2yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Marge, with today's gasoline prices, we can't afford not to buy a pony.1yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
But wait! You can't kill me for being Krusty! I'm not him! I'm Homer Simpson!9mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Hi, it's me again. I've got another problem. Uh, this one's about my cat.2mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Wait a minute! What was that last thing you said? 'Grampa's Little Helper'... what's that?7mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Whenever a woman is described as lighting up a room, the life of the party, unforgettable on Forensic Files3yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/rupaulsdragrace
Let's just call them Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyways, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, then my name isn't Homer J. Simpson!'2mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Doctor, if you just talk to him for five minutes without mentioning our son Bart, you'd see how sane he is.5mo ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Gee, I don't know what you've got planned for tonight Homer, but count me out!2yr ⋅ iwassayingboourns12 ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
