Universal truths:

2yr ⋅ ⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

As requested by It-chaos

3yr ⋅

⋅

It was created by Stan Lee Jackin’ it

2yr ⋅

⋅

My six year old DESTROYS grilled cheese and sardine sandwiches. He likes them with chili sauce and ranch dressing

3yr ⋅

⋅

Politicians in the us-of-a whenever we try to have an honest conversation about universal health care:

3yr ⋅

⋅

The most honest thing she’s ever said:

3yr ⋅

⋅

It’s a matter of faith.

3yr ⋅

⋅

What a gift. (Because conservatives aren’t the only ones worth making fun of. Status quo dems are worth making fun of too.)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Do they though?

3yr ⋅

⋅

Gandalf is fed up with the lot of them.

2yr ⋅

⋅

Cant claim the creds for this one- a friend sent me this godly lobster:

3yr ⋅

⋅

When you’re having a private conversation and some one butts in:

3yr ⋅

⋅

Men: before you get all proud of your accomplishments, take a minute to show gratitude where it is due.... you wouldn’t be the man you are today without Jim Carrey.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Feeling patriotic today, so I wanted to find something nice to say about my shithole country:

3yr ⋅

⋅

Roasted by beetlejuicing

2yr ⋅

⋅

Radical Leftist indoctrination on college campuses and other fear mongering- I mean other *truths:

3yr ⋅

⋅

The grin of an old man when his viagra just kicked in: he’s ready to fuck the nation.

3yr ⋅

⋅

He’s one sick puppy

3yr ⋅

⋅

Salvador Dali, world famous artist says:

3yr ⋅

⋅

The god of thunder isn’t picky

3yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Kenobi... At least he died happy?

3yr ⋅

⋅

Me on Father’s Day, trying to sound hip and cool to my kids, so they don’t think of me as some decrepit old man:

3yr ⋅

⋅

All of them?

3yr ⋅

⋅

Does this fit?

3yr ⋅

⋅

Say what you want about Elon musk, but he’s not lazy and he doesn’t hold back when it comes to getting things done.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Live what you love and your life will have meaning.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Don’t you dare kink shame her. Don’t even think about it.

3yr ⋅

⋅

PROMOTED: ask me anything!

3yr ⋅

⋅

Shit, he’s really got us there guys.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Morale will soar through the roof, when you ensure your team is swimming in unlimited ass!

3yr ⋅

⋅

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Round two of the battle of he**’s deep.

3yr ⋅

⋅

It just needed to be said.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Habitat and a rare moment of self awareness

3yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Dew it

3yr ⋅

⋅

Who doesn’t love a nice round glass?

3yr ⋅

⋅

Modern marketing and consumerism

3yr ⋅

⋅

A heartfelt, inspiring advertisement for strong laxatives:

3yr ⋅

⋅

It would be cooler if he wore it backwards though

2yr ⋅

⋅

Collaborative effort- I started this lobster and my friend finished it

3yr ⋅

⋅

Consider him armed and dangerous

3yr ⋅

⋅

Have you ever heard a dog fart? It’s an almost spiritual experience.

3yr ⋅

⋅

[...]

2yr ⋅

⋅

Half the post in r/showerthoughts these days

3yr ⋅

⋅

Huckaber, in his holy wisdom, tells us how to put a stop to the shameful degradation of Christian morals in this great nation.

3yr ⋅

⋅

She’s long dead but he still loves her- ALWAYS.

2yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Ayn Randy

3yr ⋅

⋅

r/fatheroftheyearaward

3yr ⋅

⋅

This quote is from before he was a vegetarian

3yr ⋅

⋅

Ben Franklin trying to be* frank*** about the basics of prostitution

3yr ⋅

⋅

Red dude murdered that nestle pr guy and then mutilated his corpse

3yr ⋅

⋅

I’m sorry aboot these. Please don’t kick me out of this sub or shoe me away....

3yr ⋅

⋅

15 secrets only true LOTR fans know about Saruman:

2yr ⋅

⋅

A cut-text-only dong:

2yr ⋅

⋅

Proof that you are what you eat.

3yr ⋅

⋅

What a terrible man

2yr ⋅

⋅

How come?

3yr ⋅

⋅

Tragic. He lost it all, for his quest.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Freud coming in hot with some advice he can’t/ won’t follow.

2yr ⋅

⋅

Just kidding. My ex wife is a good person and I wish her happiness. I just like this template

3yr ⋅

⋅

President Biden, commenting on the state of the world today and the proliferation of those goddamn amogus memes.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Thanks for listening to my Ted talk.

3yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Wow Denethor, way to be fucking weird about it.

2yr ⋅

⋅

When Frodo couldn’t carry the ring one more step and Sam decided to just show off by carrying Frodo up the rest of the way like a sack of taters.

3yr ⋅

⋅

I give you the stupidest meme I've ever made:

3yr ⋅

⋅

Turns out he wasn’t acting... only channeling real feelings.

2yr ⋅

⋅

Guys, I kidnapped GROND. Now r/lotrmemes won’t be able to make any more memes unless they find new material.

2yr ⋅

⋅

He was ranting about the Obama administration and racist blacks. Thought it needed fixing, in light of 16-20

3yr ⋅

⋅

ladies and gentlemen, Mitt Romney!

2yr ⋅

⋅

The real joke is (mindlessly repeated) in the comments!

2yr ⋅

⋅

“Where the crawdad sings” by Delia Owens. Main character is a little abandoned white girl who lives by herself in a swamp. She can’t count to 30 or spell a single word, and only went to school for 1 day in her entire life. Her dialogue is much, much clearer than this.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Obama’s response to Ben Shapiro

3yr ⋅

⋅

My friend found a “bird’s nest” under his mailbox. Clearly the mailbox is now compromised, and any messages I’ve sent him in the snail mail have been screened.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Big fat ones ALWAYS have big fat ones. Except I’m a big fat one and I know the second part isn’t true.

2yr ⋅

⋅

Baby garter snake? Saw tons of these while hiking. Slugs and earthworms better get ready for the snakopalypse

3yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

This is outrageous. It’s unfair.

2yr ⋅

⋅

The first spambot got banned, but the tool who made it has ban evaded with an alt-bot. Step 1: summon Gandalf bot. Step 2: report the spambot.

2yr ⋅

⋅

I spent my whole allowance at hot topic. Just wait till you dumb motherfuckers see my backpack.

2yr ⋅

⋅

Found this little slug-muncher in my garden! Glad he’s there!

3yr ⋅

⋅

I only removed one letter here:

2yr ⋅

⋅

Has anyone even seen actual proof or evidence that women exist irl?

3yr ⋅

⋅

Isn’t this how statues get erected?

3yr ⋅

⋅

Amen!

3yr ⋅

⋅

My friend said he was going to hell for making this gem. I guess I’m going damned too for posting it:

3yr ⋅

⋅

He’s totally right you know

2yr ⋅

⋅

I actually have one for emergencies and camping. But I haven’t had a chance to try it yet.

3yr ⋅

⋅

She’s passing you the mic, don’t be a coward.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Heavily salted ground beef, cooked to a delicate crisp. Stir fried with decadent frozen peas, finely chopped dill pickles, fresh avocado, and a few melted, oozing globs of sharp cheddar cheese. Cooked in delightful tabasco sauce and lightly drizzled with a very vinegary ketchup.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Shocking

2yr ⋅

⋅

Dude got a good hard bonking.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Billionaires should not exist.

3yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Look guys I made this quote less stupid and more realistic

3yr ⋅

⋅

Well that’s a crude generalization.

3yr ⋅

⋅

I’m pretty sure she’s right

3yr ⋅

⋅

Very tiny “tic tac” aquarium. Contains live plants and animals- seaweed clippings, algae, and fresh water zooplankton!

3yr ⋅

⋅

Shadly, the modsh have reshently banned me from r/shubreddit

3yr ⋅

⋅

I need to speak to your Jarl!

3yr ⋅

⋅

RIP THE MALL DOWN

2yr ⋅

⋅

He’s also the patron sith of hating losers

2yr ⋅

⋅

How fragile do you have to be to see things like black history month, totally miss the point, and then decide that such a celebration is totally unfair if there isn’t also a “white history month”?

3yr ⋅

⋅

this is (shitty) art

3yr ⋅

⋅

After all this is supposed to be the land of the free.

3yr ⋅

⋅

The one time it would be a good thing to be a total failure.

3yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Long time lurker here, been wanting to do this ama for millennia!

3yr ⋅

⋅

Ewww, Freud- what the hell man?

2yr ⋅

⋅

[Meta] can someone please make a Denethor bot that shows up angry anytime we mention faramir?

2yr ⋅

⋅

r/speedoflightsabers

3yr ⋅

⋅

My 6 year old loves mixing kits. He made this venomized iron man mech, using the base from (76140) the minifig from (76163) and parts from (76115). I think it looks sick

3yr ⋅

⋅

It DoEsN’t MaTtEr HoW yOu CaLl iT

3yr ⋅

⋅

Outrageous.

2yr ⋅

⋅

Just a shout out to my favorite bot! He’s a good bot, and he does hard work so us mods don’t have to.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Made little wraps out of provolone, stuffed with arugula and pine nuts. Looks stupid but it tasted great!

2yr ⋅

⋅

Showerhoughts filtering algorithm instantly removes like 98% of posts. Yet... somehow this word for word double post made it through, and hasn’t been removed after 30 minutes?

3yr ⋅

⋅

So incredibly cool

3yr ⋅

⋅

“YOUR BRAIN GETS DUMBER BY THE SECOND... 🤦 ” -some dumb guy on Reddit who thinks the *historical* Jesus said stuff in a book written ~700 years BC.

3yr ⋅

⋅

[homemade] tried making lamb. Turned out just okay.

3yr ⋅

⋅

who would win in a fight: r/marvelmemes or r/prequelmemes?

3yr ⋅

⋅

Tried making pancakes from scratch. What tf did I do wrong?

3yr ⋅

⋅

Have any simpsons episodes ever made you cry? This one just got me (And Maggie Makes Three, s6e13)

3yr ⋅

⋅

Somebody please make me stop posting lobsters.

3yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

This ad just doesn’t sit right with me. So I wrote Bill gates an open letter which he will almost certainly never read.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Meme Wars, Episode l: The Kenobi Menace

2yr ⋅

⋅

Uh oh everybody. Look out for your pp!

3yr ⋅

⋅

Only up for 6 hours, shot to the top post for the entire week... then the mods removed it. How strange.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Do not trouble me with faramir.

2yr ⋅

⋅

this recently-banned-from-everywhere public figure totally looks like frog AND toad.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Yep indeed

3yr ⋅

⋅

Fucking do it. I command you

3yr ⋅

⋅

1. It’s annoying that he’s literally just using his name to sell this book, and being so meta about it. 2. Billy, if you really wanna help the environment why are you selling this? Why not give it away as a free pdf? You can afford to not make money on this and more readership means more impact

3yr ⋅

⋅

Tempt me Frodo 😉

3yr ⋅

⋅

Having trouble keeping yourself awake and alert? Browse pictures or videos of Kenneth Copeland. It’ll keep you awake unless you’re immune to “dear god what the fuck?!?” levels of terror.

2yr ⋅

⋅

Don't let him down

3yr ⋅

⋅

Any time you get into a pissing contest with anyone on this sub:

3yr ⋅

⋅

On a story calling out the mind state that fails to take male post partum depression seriously or acknowledge that it’s a real and serious thing: commenter says male ppd is not a real thing.

3yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

Thanks, I hate this hangnail on my little toe, I’ve torn it out half a dozen times and it keeps growing back

3yr ⋅

⋅

Hey friends:

3yr ⋅

⋅

Look at all these totally original showerthoughts all lined up in a... line.

3yr ⋅

⋅

[OC] Time Line Clock of the Evolution of Human Ingenuity in Story Telling

2yr ⋅

⋅

Whenever I invite new mods they try to ban me.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Magats are the greatest

3yr ⋅

⋅

Question for anglers: if somebody came kayaking by and offered you these for found lures for free, would you take them? Context in comments.

3yr ⋅

⋅

... do I have to spell it out for you motherfuckers?

3yr ⋅

⋅

Best oatmeal I’ve ever made: boiled in juniper-hemlock broth, added dried cranberries, orange zest, maple syrup and butter. Seriously bomb but it looks mad shitty.

3yr ⋅

⋅

Polite reminder that only complete fucking morons believe in trickle down economics. You’d have to be even stupider than me to believe that bullshit

3yr ⋅

⋅

Do I need to remove molts? I think it might be good to let them degrade and return calcium to the tank. Thoughts?

3yr ⋅

⋅

Good news? We have 69 mods! Booyah. Bad news? We have more subscribers than we have mods. As happy and proud as we should all be to achieve such a glorious number, we should also all be filled with a white hot rage, a boundless fury at the very notion that lurkers are daring to not be mods. BE MODS!

3yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT