149 best u/intestinal-bookworms images on Pholder | Divorced Birds, Dndmemes and Arkansas

¿Cuatro leches?!

3d ⋅ ⋅

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We didn’t start the fire 🔥

1mo ⋅

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Looking at you, sea hag coven

1yr ⋅

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1yr ⋅

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Spare me these twisted visions

1yr ⋅

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3yr ⋅

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1yr ⋅

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Well, he ain’t exactly wrong

2yr ⋅

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2yr ⋅

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Happy Jubilee! 👑

2yr ⋅

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A whole gold piece?🗡

1yr ⋅

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“My god,” Paul thought as he stared at the lovely duck across the park, “she’s gorgeous!” Perhaps that old saying was right, third wife’s the charm

2yr ⋅

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Was it in poor taste for Candice to wear the same gown to her wedding that she wore to her previous husband’s funeral? Maybe. Did it make her eyes pop and highlight her still girlish figure? Absolutely.

2yr ⋅

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I personally would be in favor of this

1yr ⋅

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When she was invited to a “swingers party” Tabatha expected....well, something else. It was fun though, so not a total loss.

1yr ⋅

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Was it healthy for Ron to spy on his ex-wife? No. But was it healthy of her to have TWO cookies with her coffee at approximately 9:07am last Wednesday? You be the judge.

1yr ⋅

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“Marriage? More good women have been lost to marriage than to war, famine, disease, and disaster. You have talent, darling, don’t squander it.”

2yr ⋅

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What’s that? My husband? Oh, I haven’t seen him for days, not since he went on a work trip with his secretary to a secluded mountain cabin. What? To shreds you say? Oh my, how tragic. Well, life goes on I suppose. Not for him of course, but you get the idea.

3yr ⋅

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“My exhusband?” Ida laughed “Oh, we’re still close. I get a letter from him every month. A letter and a big fat cheque! That’s what he gets for splashing around with his secretary.”

4yr ⋅

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Candice’s disguise was perfect. Soon she’d catch Rodger in the act with that hussy from his office, then she’d be entitled all the owlimony she could spend!

3yr ⋅

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Your speed is now 2.5 feet

1yr ⋅

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“Son of a bitch...” Samantha glared across the park at David flagrantly flirting with his latest twist. They had agreed that if he was subtle she wouldn’t file for the sake of appearances, and yet there he was. Enjoy your ice cream David, it’ll be the last you can afford.

3yr ⋅

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The winter wind whipped around her as she left the estate for the last time but Candice wasn’t cold, no, she was finally free.

2yr ⋅

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Winston was so excited! Debbie never let him go to cons when they were together, but now that it’s just him and his buds the fun is on! He wondered if booth babes were still a thing.

3yr ⋅

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“Forty is the new thirty” Christina thought to herself as she vogued down the beach, “and I look fabulous!”

2yr ⋅

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Reginald sneered at the thought of having to set up a...”profile,” but the nights were cold alone and he’d be damned if he’d run back to Helena after that stunt with the pool boy. No, not this time.

3yr ⋅

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“You can do it Carla, I’m right beside you.” Rachel knew her friend need her strength and encouragement to go into the house, serve Tanner with the papers, and walk out one last time. Friends of a feather flock together. In a few minutes her friend would finally be a free bird.

3yr ⋅

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Oh, of course we can split the assets fairly. I’ll take the summer house, the Mustang, and the offshore accounts while you take your nineteen year old girlfriend to the movies! Don’t forget the student discount, Robert!

3yr ⋅

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🔥The dice tell their story🔥

1yr ⋅

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As Emily watched the movers pack up John’s beloved golf clubs for auction she couldn’t help but smile. She had been the perfect, sweetest wife and would never cause her husband any harm, that’s what her team of lawyers were for. Better luck next marriage, John.

3yr ⋅

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“That’s right I did it! AND I’D DO IT AGAIN TOO!” Anna screamed from the back of the squad car. Daniel cheated on her, so she and her gal pal burned his nest down. Hell hath no furry like a bird scorned.

4yr ⋅

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The weather over Essex

4yr ⋅

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“Hey there, sweet thing. Let me buy you and drink while I tell you about myself. I’m 53, newly single and ready to-hey, where you going?”

1yr ⋅

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After leaving Ted for good, Tina was able to throw herself fully into her favorite hobby and join the local choir. It did wonders for her self esteem, though some of the other singers did wish she’d learn to share the stage a bit more.

3yr ⋅

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I'm an INTP Capricorn Hufflepuff

4yr ⋅

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As Corinthia returned from the funeral she felt a twinge of guilt for her late, dear Geoffrey. So unfortunate. But she took comfort in the fact that the estate was now in good hands, her hands.

1yr ⋅

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Local Vietnamese place lets you order just broth which is quite nice

2wk ⋅

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Deborah knew that she was no longer the young woman she once was, but she would not dwell on that. She was rid of Edgar, and with her new can-do hairdo it was time to get back in the game.

4yr ⋅

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My ex-wife still misses me...but her aim is gettin’ better! Eh, eh? Her aim is gettin’ better! It’s funny because marriage is terrible.

2yr ⋅

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“AM I BEING DETAINED?!” Gloria bellowed at the officer. Since she left Richard she was a new bird who wouldn’t be held back by any man, even one in uniform

3yr ⋅

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It had been a month since Anne left, and Benjamin was finally ready to put on his Sunday hat and go outside. After all, can’t stay cooped up forever, right?

3yr ⋅

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Priscilla, 53, newly single and ready to mingle! Loves gardening 🌻👩‍🌾, berry flavored tea 🫖, and quiet nights quilting at home 🧵. Hates rude people, littering, and George that rat bastard who stole the best years of her life. Serious inquiries only please.

2yr ⋅

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As Bernadette and Clarice walked though their cottage garden together they reflected on how they got there. The years wasted on Reginald and Thomas, meeting at the singles knitting mixer, and eventually their small, quiet joining ceremony. The road had been long, but now theirs was a good life.

2yr ⋅

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Freddie paused his twitch stream and felt something he hadn’t since long before Beth left: happy.

4yr ⋅

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Roberta sat alone on the lawn of the estate, now hers at last. She would miss Edgar in a way, but then again the flowers this spring did seem particularly beautiful. Perhaps it was the fertilizer.

2yr ⋅

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Picking up the boys from their weekend at Dave’s, Linda was glad that they kept things amicable for the children. As much as they now hated each other, they both still loved little Tyler and Tyson. And that was worth having to pretend and make make small talk twice a month.

3yr ⋅

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It would be so easy, Miranda thought looking over her passed out husband. Just do nothing and the house, the car, the bank accounts...it could all be mine. No need for lawyers this time.

4yr ⋅

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Different people react to breakups in different ways. Some hit the gym, some look for a rebound. Edward decided to go whole hog on hair extensions. We all cope in different ways.

2yr ⋅

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Rhonda may have had a little work done after the divorce was finalized. Some might say it was a bit much, but I say you can’t put a price on good self esteem

2yr ⋅

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“Omg, theres Leonard. I can’t believe he showed up. I know right, she got the nest and everything, like, even the vacation nest in Miami. I would just die, just die of shame before I-Oh, hi Leonard! You’re looking good man. Have you lost weight?”

3yr ⋅

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“Oh of course, darling! If you have to work late you have to work late. I completely understand.” Betty smiled as she hung up the phone. James had to “work late” again with his secretary. Little did he know about the camera she had set up in the office. Soon “working” would be all James had left.

2yr ⋅

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“And by the way,” Eliza said over her shoulder as she walked away from Byron for the last time. “I’m taking the car too.”

3yr ⋅

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Jennifer knew about the other women of course, she was no fool. But alas, Bradley did not know about her two lawyers. But he would soon, oh he would very soon.

4yr ⋅

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[NS] I think it’s hilarious that Jake is listed as a “guest”

1yr ⋅

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Be polite to the DM and ye shall be rewarded

4yr ⋅

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Hello, David. No, don’t get up. You need to save your strength. Did you enjoy the ceremony? I did. How’s Carla? Oh, don’t worry. I know all about you two. I think she’ll be the first one to go when I’m running the company. Shhhh, don’t speak. It’d be a shame for your last words to be a lie.

2yr ⋅

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My parents got these two girls, a calico and one with a monopoly man mustache

4yr ⋅

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Flurry of blows, baby!

4yr ⋅

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Found the bard weapon

4yr ⋅

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So, what's your character's backstory?

4yr ⋅

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The tiny old lady who lives in my house turns 15 this year

3yr ⋅

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NGL, that’s a good name

1yr ⋅

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After the divorce Lindsey got deep into spiritualism and “nature energies.” She didn’t need Kevin! No, she only needed mother Gaia. Namaste, Kevin, you SOB.

2yr ⋅

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[NS] Found Nyack’s Twitter

4yr ⋅

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A BLT I’ve had saved on my phone since 2015. Best sandwich I ever had

4yr ⋅

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Thought I'd share this cool video game themed gift my husband and I got for our anniversary

6yr ⋅

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1yr ⋅

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A flight of soup at my local Chinese restaurant

2yr ⋅

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Not that Dave ever supported her dreams of walking down the runway. Well, who’s on the cover of Vogue now, Dave, and who’s still complaining that nobody will trade shifts with him? It’s because you never cover anybody else’s, Dave!

2yr ⋅

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How do you get a warlock to max out STR?

5yr ⋅

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TFW the beast master is no longer welcome at the local inn

5yr ⋅

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Found this in a 1920’s cookbook: Roasted peacock

1yr ⋅

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Thanks, I hate Clamdy Canes

1yr ⋅

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The Wizard after losing 1 hp

5yr ⋅

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Thanks, I hate chowder pops

1yr ⋅

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There’s a lot of strength checks and whatnot

3yr ⋅

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I like to talk about them even if I likely won’t get to play them. What’s a character idea you have ready to go?

2yr ⋅

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To be fair, they ain’t princes

1yr ⋅

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A gravy fountain somebody posted on FB. They said in the comments they needed a special hose for the meat bits to flow.

4yr ⋅

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My mom took this sunrise picture on Petite Jean. Apparently the humming bird likes to get up early

4yr ⋅

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There are two types of parties

6yr ⋅

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Can’t imagine why this pumpkin spice cheese isn’t selling well

4d ⋅

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Murder Hobos mapped

5yr ⋅

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What's you school of magic's best feature?

5yr ⋅

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[NS] not a wimple, but I think this counts

5yr ⋅

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Didn’t even have to think for ten seconds

1yr ⋅

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A sandwich my husband made for me when we were dating. Heirloom tomatoes and bacon

6yr ⋅

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Me, trying to get my friend to DM

5yr ⋅

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2yr ⋅

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This needle point my sister-in-law made for my husband's and my first anniversary 💛

6yr ⋅

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TFW you forget to declare non-lethal damage

5yr ⋅

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An insta-couple who look exactly the same. Nice, but identical

4yr ⋅

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Well, this is embarrassing

4yr ⋅

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Cleric arguing with the DM over rules

6yr ⋅

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Anyone done this version yet? I tell you hwat.

5yr ⋅

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Pictured: the proper way to use a Ranger's animal companion

5yr ⋅

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How can a DM get the party to go along with the plot?

5yr ⋅

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5yr ⋅

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So, why'd your first wizard PC die?

6yr ⋅

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Men can’t drink tea, apparently.

4yr ⋅

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I’ve never considered us Midwest but apparently some people do. Thoughts?

7mo ⋅

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I tell you what

5yr ⋅

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The four bites of marrow were good, but the server struggling to slide the heavy rock off the table and not on to me was not

3yr ⋅

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This is Basil. She's studying hard

6yr ⋅

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5yr ⋅

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Someone’s grandfather made a taxidermy beaver speaker

4yr ⋅

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Playing pool, and then

6yr ⋅

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6yr ⋅

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Roaming Jigglypuff at the Golden Pavilion, Kinkaku-ji

6yr ⋅

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Invest in this new raccoon template!

4yr ⋅

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Jigglypuff ponders her licensing agreement

6yr ⋅

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Me after paying this semester's tuition

6yr ⋅

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Le Jigglypuff in New Orleans

6yr ⋅

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6yr ⋅

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