Where she at, doe?
My friend sent me a pic, asking if he should buy it for $45. I said yes.
I don’t know if I’ll wait for summer or propose during quarantine, but I’m happy I saved up enough money to buy her the ring of her dreams that she designed herself.
How you gonna get fired on your day off?
Stars and my cat’s belly.
Official Reddit app sent me a notification. Recognition at last?
You'll grow into them.
MRW I find an old book in my collection with a old birthday card tucked inside from my deceased grandmother saying, I love you.
Credit to /u/PatientTurtle for the idea
Tried to make me go to rehab, I said no-no-no.
Hold my vodka while I give my comrades a ride.
We can rebuild her. We have the technology.
Situational Urban Sa'
Why do you love me? Is it because of my cookies?
Poor Tommy ☹️
On parole, too?! 😍
You cannot escape your destiny.
My dad is bored in his hotel room.
MRW someone asks me to house sit for them.
[Homemade] Beef Stroganoff
MRW a girl I'm chatting with on Tinder tells me I look cute.
For all the Hot Boys & Gamer Girls our there. Dog Bless.
When people ask Obama about immigration.
Exactly where, PG&E?
You making dinner?
The Last of Us
Grab the camera!
The Gruesome Twosome!
Notification from Door Dash
Ran out of bacon, so I pan fried some shredded cheese to add some crispness to my turkey sub.
Anybody got free pizza?
When I'm watching a chick flick and I hear someone approaching.
When your girlfriend is out of town.
Some days I feel “Essential.”
Spicy pretzel bun burger with cheddar cheese, pickled jalapeños, chipotle mayo, a healthy dose of my favorite hot sauce, and homemade fries.
MRW I'm watching a movie and my mom walks by during a sex scene.
What's your favorite Sauce?
MRW I suddenly remember that we're living on a giant rock in space.
Last weeks before it starts getting too cold outside. Earl likes to roam around the strawberry leaves.
Some people hate pineapple on their pizza. My best friend and I think it goes well with jalapenos & bacon.
Does art break the rules?
I got a TP tattoo when Tom Petty died on a drunken night. I didn’t realize years later it would become a prophecy.
On parole, too?!
Mr. Peanutbutter in a tiny dentist clown car. This just made my day.
Big sister, little sister.
When you're playing Monopoly and your friend starts stacking hotels
Moscow Mule after a long day, anyone?
Went to the Sacramento reptile show yesterday. I couldn’t resist the sulcatas, so I adopted one. Still deciding on this sleepy guy’s name.
Why I didn't go to Walmart today.
Oh, sorry, were you watching something?
Cheesy Jalapeño Potato Rounds
/r/cocktails was being snooty towards this Ultimate Bloody Mary I got. I think it belongs here anyway.
MRW I'm in the middle of having sex and I suddenly hear my cat puking into my shoe.
Pineapple Fried Rice.
MRW the girl I've been seeing casually for the past few days likes the same music, movies, and tv shows as me.
MRW none of the girls at the party have a booty
When my brother and I forgot Mom's birthday yesterday.
In Ders We Trust
MRW my girlfriend is on a business trip, and I wish her a good night, but she sends me a motivational pic instead.
Update: Now I just got to figure out if I should wait for the summer or propose during quarantine.
You’re making dinner?
Sadie Mae is only 8 weeks old.
MRW my mom calls me a son of a bitch.
Friend found Tom Servo's washed-up grandpa at the local thrift store.
She is getting a lot bigger.
The girl I had a fling with 2 years ago ghosted me. I decided to keep her on social media in case she changed her mind. She posted a pic today and is in a relationship with a guy that looks very similar to me.
When I'm in the theater and I hear someone fart.
My Xbox just informed me about my YouTube bender.
My friend is high and keeps sending me this pic, saying he sees SpongeBob...
Lay down a beat, Randy.
Ginger is the friendliest cat we've ever had.
My brother came back from D23 with a present for me
Akon confirms illerminaty!
Dug up a pic from a few years ago. One of the first pictures of our English Golden Retriever.
MRW I'm driving and I see my friend laughing as he puts my phone down.
Found these out on my local trail. Little soldiers surviving the winter. 🌨
MRW I'm watching porn and the scene switches to a close up of the guy's taint.
Powdered Toast Man Beer
MRW I need to take a shit but there's a line
Ya money or ya life.
My cat thinks she can drink her way to the bottom of my betta fish tank.
Found this on my bed today. My bro always comes through with sweet gifts.
Gravity Falls fan art
Samyang Spicy Ramen. Hurts so good.
My type of breakfast sandwich.
How are we out of ketchup?!
Rooney and Kate Mara (which sister tickles your fancy?)
Came home to two of my favorite things resting on my bed.
Grilled black forest ham with pepper jack cheese, Sriracha Mayonnaise, and jalapeño garlic bread. I love the heat.
One of my favorite parts of the show are the backgrounds and characters that fill them.
If your stomach starts grumblin', and your mouth is mumblin', there's only one thing to keep your brain from crumblin'.
Gravity Falls/Rick & Morty mashup by Garabatoz
I tried making tacos for the first time. I feel like I did pretty okay.
She found out the kitchen is where food is made.
Xxtra Flamin' Hot Cheeto Chicken Tenders
A Steven Universe Christmas
I tested my might.
Smoldering Pine Burger from Pine Street Burger in Nevada City, CA
Xxtra Flamin' Hot Cheetos Chicken Tenders
MRW somebody talks shit about my mom.
Steven Universe bead art
MRW I'm really baked after getting a haircut
Brewing Bad (coffee cup art)
F**k you! I'm a bus!
The Crystal Gem Girls
Mallary said she was going to move before I checked the mail.
My little collection
Friend sent me a pic of his dinner while his girlfriend was at a friend's for the night.
[Secret Santa] Check out the poster I got as a gift.
This might be a problem...
Ultimate Bloody Mary
It's my birthday. I bought myself a new piece of furniture for my bedroom.
Looking good, feeling great!
I shaved my neck beard today. RIP until a couple more months.
Anybody want some pizza?
Homemade pizza with Jack in the Box onion rings, chicken strips, curly fries, ranch, and red hot sauce. (Avocado may be the only fresh ingrediant)
I topped my toast with Nutella, bacon, and banana. It was actually pretty good.
Bitch, I'm playing Vice City.
The store clerk convinced me to pick up the Rogue because of my shirt.
Tried to make my first Moscow Mule. Any tips or tricks?
Vice City Night Life
Made a post 5 days ago and was advised by some of you to improve my setup. Here's Killinger's new home.
My dad became a big fan of South Park around the Tiger Woods episode. I got him a shirt for his birthday.
Kate & Rooney Mara (which sister turns you into a scoundrel?)
Smoldering Burger from Pine Street Burgers in Nevada City, CA
I knew this character's voice sounded familiar and then it hit me