Trying to find the perfect sleeping spot.
Listen up, guys. The Springfield Police have told me that 91 % of all traffic accidents are caused by you six guys.
Homer, we gotta do something. Today, he's drinking people's blood. Tomorrow, he could be smoking!
Curious baby elephant examining a bumper.
Hey buddy, heard you needed cheering up! Well, old Bender will make you laugh!
Son, when you participate in sporting events it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get.
MRW my girlfriend is a squirter and I'm fingering her during her period.
And to think, Smithers, you laughed when I bought Ticketmaster. Nobody's going to pay a hundred-percent service charge.
A rather impersonal way of killing children, but Scooter couldn't complain about the casualty rate.
Mobbning på hög nivå
Moody Jacobs shows a giant bruise on the side and hip of his patient, Ann Hodges, after she was struck by a meteorite. She is the only confirmed person in history to have been hit by a meteorite. 1954 [720x990]
Well, if it isn't my arch nemesis, Bart Simpson, and his sister Lisa, to whom I'm fairly indifferent.
Betty Blythe in The Queen of Sheba, a 1921 silent film now considered lost. 1921 [1184x1500]
I might go mad with fear out there, so Todd, I want you to shoot Daddy if he tries to get back in.
Of course we could make things more challenging Lisa, but then the stupider students would be in here complaining, furrowing their brows in a vain attempt to understand the situation.
Winston Churchill and Franklin D. Roosevelt fishing at Shangri-La, later renamed to Camp David. May 1943 [673x1023]
Roman cavalry mask, discovered on Gotland, Sweden. The eyes have been filled in after its initial construction. Late 2nd century. [2025x2834]
Nobody ruins my family vacation but me! And maybe the boy!
And to conclude this Halloween newscast on a scary note... Remember, the Presidential primaries are only a few months away.
Look at you, standing there on your hind legs, like a couple of Rory Calhouns.
You have robbed us of our dignity.
He shouldn't have deceived me, but I'm just so relieved Lenny's okay.
Marge, I can’t wear a pink shirt to work, everybody wears white shirts. I’m not popular enough to be different.
Who rigs every Oscar night?!
Two men slaughters a cow in Johanneshov, Stockholm. 1912-1945 [1251x1280]
Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in the hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.
A PSA from the Count.
Well, I'm glad some people could resist the lures of the big game.
MRW it's friday and the clock turns 5 pm.
Here's a tip. Put a pinch of sage in your boots and all day long, a spicy scent is your reward.
Babylonian clay tablet written in Akkadian, containing the oldest known cooking recipes. The tablet includes 25 recipes for stews, 21 meat stews and 4 vegetable stews. ca. 1750 BC. [1638x2458]
This one’s for you, Kaiser Bill. Special delivery from Uncle Sam and all the boys in D Company. Yeah, Johnny, Harris, Brooklyn Bob, and Reggie. Yeah, even Reggie. He ain’t so stuck up once you get to know him…
Boots worn by Gustav III of Sweden during his coronation. 1772 [3328x4992]
Bra placering av spelknappen SR...
Uh, election in November. Election in November.
Coronation dress of Sophia Magdalena of Denmark, worn during the coronation of her husband, Gustav III of Sweden. 1772 [1000x812]
Mamluk axe, 15th-16th century. [669x998]
My name is Cookie Monster, I'm a gluttonous idiot and I smell bad!
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
When you're gonna live up to your side of the agreement.
Okay, Apu. Stay awake and stay focused. Cotton Mather Z Z Z.
When Nelson slaps you.
Don't thank me, thank... the knife!
Italian round shield, ca 1550-1600. [825x1000]
Yeah right, buddy. Liquor store robbery, officer down. Sure.
MRW I get the exam and don't understand a single question.
I don't know. Fish sandwich. Are you sure?
All hail king Elmo the Just, the first of his name!
Brass knuckles carried by Abraham Lincoln's bodyguards during his train ride through Baltimore. 1861 [5397x3955]
Going in for a smooch.
My New Year's resolution was to get in shape and eat healthier and now it's February-starterpack
Grover is not paid enough to handle that shit.
North Haverbrook? Where have I heard that name before? Oh no, OH NO!
Guys with shades, New York, 1970's [800x621]
Ernie better watch out or he'll get pun-ched.
When you discover your new extra head.
Dude, where's the rest of my car?
Soldiers of the 1st Russian army marching in Manchuria during the Russo-Japanese War. January 1905 [640x819]
Ernie's response was to insult Satan and call him a pussy-ass bitch.
See that broad over there? A few roofies in her drink and she's all yours.
Stern piece of HMS Royal Charles, captured 1667 by the dutch in the raid on the Medway. The stern is on display in the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. [1600x1600]
We have orders not to fire on anybody but Greenpeace.
Pipe down, Sister! I gotta book a new act for tonight. Turns out that Liza Minnelli impersonator was really Liza Minnelli.
When you gotta start havin' designated drivers.
Marge, it happened again.
Hello beautiful. No ring, I see. So you are only arranged to be married.
The Crosby Garrett Helmet, a roman cavalry helmet made of copper alloy, found 2010 near Crosby Garrett in Cumbria, England. late 2nd or early 3rd century AD. [2438x3200]
Skeleton of soldier killed in the battle of Lützen, November 16, 1632, found in a mass grave. [850x637]
Combination axe and pistol, taken as a war trophy by Sweden from Denmark. mid 17th century. [5506x2366]
Welcome back, Lord Nibbler, Ambassador to Earth, homeworld of the pizza bagel.
Geez. How many gazebos do you shemales need?
When you have to drink either Mountain Dew or crab juice.
JFK & Jackie Kennedy at President’s surprise 46th birthday party, White House Mess, May 29, 1963. [1024x818]
Wheellock musket that belonged to Gustav II Adolf of Sweden, made in Amsterdam in 1596. [1000x341]
When you just kinda trailed off.
The Kurkh Monolith of Shalmaneser III, king of Assyria. It describes his first six years of reign and mentions Ahab, king of Israel. It's also the oldest document to mention the arabs. 853 BC [822x1599]
Elmo want answers! Answers that confirms Elmo's theories!
When you realize that you're dancing with ice cream cones and lollipops.
The queue outside the Leicester Square Theatre in London for the 1977 premiere of Star Wars. [3000x1996]
Here's a phone. Call someone who cares!
Then I heard the sound that all arctic explorers dread - the pitiless bark of the sea lion. He'll be killed!
Oops, wrong target!
I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.
Uniform worn by Major General Mansfield Lovell of the Confederate States Army. 1861-1865 [1036x2000]
Anatoly Golimbievsky, a heavily decorated veteran who lost both legs in WW2, is saluted by four young sailors on V-Day. Leningrad 1989 [1200x767]
Oh, I'm gonna lose my job just 'cause I'm dangerously unqualified!
Surprisingly, people are grabbing things with both hands, suggesting it's not just southpaws in this rampaging mob.
Coveralls that don't quite cover all.
Drinking vessel in the shape of a fist, from the reign of Tudhaliya III, Hittite New Kingdom. 14th century BC. [648x752]
Maybe because you are, as we say in Latin, a dorkus malorkus.
Workers, please! There'll be time for the frozen pudding wagon later. You still owe me ten more Iroquois twists!
Grover has been sharpening his machete for months for this moment.
Well Homer, looks like we're boat buddies, huh? Want me to zinc your sniffer?
A capture worthy of a iron cross.
Zereh bagtar, Mughal mail and plate armor from Datia. Early 17th century. [459x768]
Superintendent! I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?
At least the three people living in Wyoming died quickly.
I'm a well wisher, in that I don't wish you any specific harm.
Golden signet ring found on the site of the battle of Towton (1461). [750x950]
No more pills or alcohol, no more pot or Demerol, no more stinking fun at all! I'm checking in.
Cuirass from parade armor belonging to Erik XIV of Sweden. 1562 [3630x4453]
Steam starter pack
A wrestling match performance in Sikeston, Missouri, May 1938. The bearded wrestler was known as Big Tom Towers. [1300x865]
I have nothing more to say to you, Marge. I'm drawing a line down the center of the house a la I Love Lucy. You stay on your side and I stay on my side.
The Snaptun Stone, a hearth stone depicting Loki. Made of soapstone and found in eastern Jylland, Denmark. ca 1000 CE [982x804]
Oh, Homer was spending money like a teenage arab. He bought me a Rolex and cashmere jeans. I felt kinda guilty cause I was always trying to score with his wife. So when do we start filming?.
You know those radio ads where two people with annoying voices yammer back and forth? I invented those.
Ástríðr had these stones raised in memory of Eysteinn, her husbandman, who attacked Jerusalem and met his end up in Greece. Runstone from Broby bro, 1020-1050. [810x1219]
Ernie gives Bert some last-minute tips for his court appearance.
Krogsta runestone. The runestone has two Elder Futhark inscriptions, one of them is uninterpretable while the other probably is the Proto-Norse word for stone. 6th century [779x1365]
I've never seen a man so desperate to get out of five minutes of calisthenics.
Nicolae and Elena Ceaușescu being executed by firing squad, 25 december 1989 [700x423]
When you're merely exchanging long protein strings.
When Lisa is being annoying
Ah, there's an interesting story behind this nickel. In 1957 I remember it was. I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three - medium brown.
In fact, every copy of Shirley Jackson's The Lottery has been checked out from the Springfield public library. Of course the book does not contain any hints on how to win the lottery. It is rather a chilling tale of conformity gone mad.
The best pie you have ever tasted, Mr Johnson. Wash it down with Arbor gold and savor every bite. I know I shall.
Roman gold coins excavated in Pudukottai, southern India. One coin of Caligula (31-41 CE), and two coins of Nero (54-68). [1334x449]
The Federal Highway Commission has ruled the Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.
Germany is victorious on all fronts. The Eiffel Tower during the Nazi occupation, 1940. [1074x609]
I tell you, I won't live in a town that robs men of the right to marry their cousins!
When you have become an American Citizen
Wolfdog has a drinking problem.
Burgundian helmet belonging to Gustav Vasa, king of Sweden. 1540. [2480x2938]
My name is Homer, and I'm just here because the court made me come.
Those daffy laffy clowns
Must sign policy!
A prostitute leans playfully on a police car on 42nd Street Times Square, May 1980. [1024x692]
Mrs. Krabappel, in figuring out my final grades I hope you'll note that all of my textbooks are being returned in excellent condition. In some cases, still in their original wrappings.
Yee-haw! Homer, I want you to have my lucky hat! I wore it the day Kennedy was shot and it always brings me good luck.
All right, Simpson! You were warned about teasing the box!
So long dental plan!
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles' heel, if you will.
And this is the snack holder where I can put my beverage, or, if you will, cupcake.
Well, I couldn't possibly solve this mystery. Can you?
Muammar Gaddafi with his daughter Aysha in his Bedouin tent, January 12, 1986. [770x1158]
What if people say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution? Then Ill crush all opposition to me, and I'll make Ted Kennedy pay. If he fights back, I'll say that he's gay.
When Low battery is the correct answer to seven times eight.
All right brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
Hot stuff coming through!
Bert's conversion to islam sure changed his opinion about women.
Hungarian saddle, made of leather and covered in green velvet. Beginning of 19th century. [666x1000]
Come on boy! Finish him off!
Duff Gardens! Home of the Whiplash! (To be completed in 1994.)