Oh hey John Mayer
Just a livable wage, please. Is that too much to ask?
Hello? Is anybody out there? Better investigate.
[image] we are our own worst critics. Let’s try flipping the script instead.
Lifehack for people who don’t like people...
Nope nope nope nope nope
Hello, yes, I would like to adopt this grandma please
Plus insurance, phone bills, rent...
Just call me ‘daddy’
I, too, am fragile af.
No way, you’re bi? My best friends uncle is bi! Neato!
Damnit, it worked.
I use to just hate Mondays. Now it’s Monday - Thursday.
And a gun would be a Rooty Tooty Aim and Shooty
But.. you seemed so normal?
Animal crackers are more my color anyway.
I’ma let you finish but ...
Party girl posting about heartache/new bf weekly suddenly gets deep...
Prove me wrong, I’ll wait
Posting from my top sheet-less bed
Practicing my dad jokes on creeps I guess
Stanislav Ianevski Aka Viktor Krum
The devil seems to have left Georgia and has gotten desperate
I no longer have an excuse to skip ‘ugly but not actually ugly’ sweater parties. Both for $8.
Took my friend out for celebration drinks & posted pics. After commenting on how happy I look lately... Family requested I take the 'disgusting pictures' down. Blocked them instead so now they don't have to see the photos 🤗
TBM friend I grew up with posted this. Figured I’d share the laugh.
I gave him not one, but two chances. He blew them both.
I need to start doing this when I go out to eat with my Nmom MoMo...
Probably the best answer to be honest.
What’s your favorite position?
Nudes were never on the table, bud
Those hashtags though
Posted asking to use a truck for an hour.. Got sexual requests in response..
Just a peek?
F/25/5'2 [225>149=76] 11 months of cleaner eating and cutting portions!
And inevitably in your butt crack.
‘The slower I go’ ...
Um... I mean I guess it's because we're both blonde hair/blue eyes...?
Stopped believing as a teen, Been officially free a little while now. Hoping some former friends have done the same. Currently solo traveling the U.K.- reach out if you knew me!
My family knows I’ve been out for years. They still send me posts like this about what I should be doing for my potential future husband. Sadly, not a joke.
Scrolling through coffee shops near me and came across this. Magic + coffee is just what I need!
Apparently I’ve met prince (not so) charming...
No to sucking dick = racist. News to me.
'A preserves' guy...
Glad I’m not the only one with a designated clothes chair.
Wit beyond measure is a man’s greatest treasure...
Finally, a religion I can get behind
Third threesome request for the day. Apparently 'no' means 'maybe.'
I guess I’m playing games?
I always said I'd never have a small dog... then my coworker was getting rid of hers & I fell in love with the weirdo. ❤️
Friend lets his wife create his costume each year. I think she nailed it.
My mom in the 80s modeling in a Coleman ad
Well come on ladies, line em up!
This dirty street lamp looks like the moon
My dad (Admiral's Aide) & mom at the Naval Ball Fundraiser in Ostend, Belgium back in 1988
No.. that’s not why..
My little runt, Bellatrix.
Found this photo of my mom as Velma in the play 'Chicago' back in 1988. (far left)
Just pure s@x!
Too sick to rinse the Pepto cup last night.. woke up and could peel it out of the cup.