I go to a competitive law school. Friend was studying in a library when suddenly this guy showed up, pressed a stethoscope against the window, and started secretly listening in on a group study session without mentioning anything to the people inside.11yr ⋅ Diet_Water ⋅ r/WTF
Line of people waiting for bottled water at a Costco in East LA. Wraps around entire warehouse.4yr ⋅ Diet_Water ⋅ r/LosAngeles
Prosecutor: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Who do you find more attractive. Tom Cruise or Mel Gibson? Judge: What is the point of all this? Prosecutor: Your Honor, I'm so confident of Marge Simpson's guilt, that I can waste the court's time rating the superhunks.10yr ⋅ Diet_Water ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Good evening, young man. My name is Charles Norwood. Furthermore to this beer, I would also like three of your finest, cheapest cigars. Here's my ID which confirms my adultivity.10yr ⋅ Diet_Water ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Dear Boardwalk Empire on Facebook, could you please replace the 17 year old in charge of making your posts?11yr ⋅ Diet_Water ⋅ r/BoardwalkEmpire
Please inspect your raw ingredients before cooking. We discovered mold in our cheese packet. Hellofresh does not put expiration dates on their packaging.5yr ⋅ Diet_Water ⋅ r/hellofresh
Calls? Oh calls....the Supreme Court called again. they need your help on some freedom thing.9yr ⋅ Diet_Water ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Hutz: I didn't win. Here's your pizza. Marge: but we did win. Hutz: That's okay, The box is empty11yr ⋅ Diet_Water ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Apu: He used to rob me 2...maybe 3 times a week now I'm lucky if I get it once a month. Snake: he never initiates it I have to do all the work...he just stands there!11yr ⋅ Diet_Water ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
A lot of people know about the grotto and the game room. But few know about the laboratory, the biosphere, the alternative energy research center.10yr ⋅ Diet_Water ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
That was a right-pretty speech, sir. But I ask you, what is a contract? Webster's defines it as an agreement under the law which is unbreakable. Which is unbreakable! Excuse me, I must use the restroom.11yr ⋅ Diet_Water ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Mmnn, actually Homer that’s just one. See, each pushup includes both an up part and a down part.11yr ⋅ Diet_Water ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Sarah what's wrong? Usually after two or three truly tasteless jokes you're all over me...Sarah PLEASE....Sarah its $10 a pill...11yr ⋅ Diet_Water ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Good for you, son. If there's one thing the world needs, its more lawyers. Can you imagine a world without lawyers? *Shivers*11yr ⋅ Diet_Water ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
