His head might pop like a pimple.
Hey. What are all of these lights?
Who could it be??
Back in the 90s
And he would have gotten away with it too
Happy birthday Mewtwo!
Did you finally nail YYZ? It's zed, and no, Neil Pert stands alone!
I am not afraid of gander. I am the gander!
Hearing my dad yell about his online backup
I just realized that Pac-Man's eyes are silhouettes of himself.
Dustin's best line this season. [Spoiler]
Aren't we forgetting something, Marge? You were down $5,200.
Our next budget item: $12 for alarm repair.
Ruin Skinner's unforgettable luncheon
Hawaiian airlines has a tablet holder in their seats. Fit the switch perfectly.
Well, I don't need safety gloves because I'm Homer Simp...
I'm going to whip this little bitch in the face if she makes a peep!
If your kitchen is on fire, it means you’re steaming too many hams. Or not enough.
Rick's toilet computer specs
So that's it after 20 years. You want one nice family photo?
You call it water despite the fact that it's obviously acid.
Who's that PokeMoe?
Beep beep, Ricky
This fight is over. Give the Yakuza the $10,000!
Name for hamburger by US county
I'll Chappelle Show myself out
Hearing my dad yell about his online backup not working
I won't let them treat Poochie like dirt just because he's the new guy. Right on Mr. S.
That name again is sanitation commissioner.
Zapp knows how to test the male birth control pill
The office isn't your fucking bathroom
Ow, my eye! I'm not supposed to get drugs in it!
Enjoy your death trap, ladies.
President Donald Trump angry about Google search results of himself (Aug, 2018)
Seymour didn't get a chance to deliver some steamed hams.
Hello, is this President Clinton? Good. I figured if anyone knew how to get some Tang, it would be you. Shut up!
Fox holes in Cordovia
Whatever you say Mr Moeboard!
Playing around with Google Assistant
Hey, you know what? I can call my ma while I'm up here. Hey, ma! Get off the dang roof!
Getting an injection
If I didn't have this gun, the King of England couldn't get ready in 4/5ths of a second.
A counterfeit chowdah ring operating out of my own card hole!
I'm not in way over my head
A reminder to everyone tonight from Dodge
The Fierce Deity Mask is so powerful you can only use it during boss fights... or fishing
After playing the same continuous game for months, I finally maxed out the level, timer, and score in Tetris Axis
You can see when the golden envelope falls out of Mr. Peanutbutter's jacket in the sewer.
Buzz Hickey weighs in on cakedays
8 spices? Well some must be doubles. Ore-gah-no. What the hell?
Beat it Frank, you're acting like it's 2006
Mrs. Krabappel, I only go down to the basement.
You call it steamed chicken despite the fact that it's obviously roasted.
Guess we find out Chi's day job
Maybe we should tell them the monkeys we send into space come back super intelligent.
Dodge warns about tonight
What is your area of expertise?
Jerry kept a picture of Doofus Rick, a Titanic model, and a jar of applesauce in the garage when Rick was in prison.
And this ends Krusty's non-denominational holiday fun fest. So have a Merry Christmas, a Happy Chanukah, a Krazy Kwanzaa, a Tip Top Tet, and a solemn, eventful Ramadan. Now, over to my god, our sponsors.
Marge, that little guy hasn't done anything yet. He's just standing there and you know he's gonna do something good!
The Chicago rally was amazing tonight
Wish you were El Barto
I finally got a message on OKC
Happy birthday to Henry Winkler, from that one episode of Law & Order: SVU
Oh! It's that new show about the policeman that eats sandwiches in his spare time.
[Spoilers] I was not expecting this in last night's episode.
Come on people, somebody ordered the London Symphony Orchestra, possibly while hiiiiigh. Cyprus Hill I'm looking in your direction.
I'm swelling with patriotic mucus.
My wife found this cleaning out old storage at her lab. She constantly rubs it in my face.
Here it is everybody. The world's greatest website.
Don't worry. I've seen enough of the Horse Whisperer to know how to win a race. When you're on the race track, run really fast.
I'm visiting Germany for the first time this weekend.
(Spoilers) Anyone notice her while Deadpool was flipping through the pictures for X-Force members?
This quit being funny 2 hours ago!
Moleman presents: University of Minnesota Beach Ball Protocol
Oh, you want a rock fight, eh?
Uh, your fish are dead.
The sheep sleeping on BoJack's couch has numbers on his pajamas.
I lost control at work today
Missy turns 18 today.
A Zelda reference in the background of the newest Bob's Burgers
I'm recovering from shoulder surgery, my friend sent me a get well soon gift! He is too generous.
Driving down a parking lot and an old woman drives into my car
This place looks expensive. I feel like I'm wasting a fortune just standing here.
My feelings while I'm unemployed.
No, no. Dig up, stupid.
Shut up net face Hey, you're in the net too I said shut up net face!
Oh, hey Dee
Heeey Dennis. Can I talk to you for a second?
Mr Rogers drunk. What do you mean I can't take my sweater off? I'm hot!
iOS 7's lockscreen looks a lot like the Android 4.0 lockscreen
Not sure why the rock formations look like this. I reset my graphics options to default. Using a GTX 970.
Your honor, I move for a bad court thingy.
They're showing Hail to the Chimp!
My thoughts ever since I was laid off last month
Slow day at work, I overclocked my mouse to pass the time.
Get your green bodysuit ready for Sunday to cheer these guys on!
New iphones revealed today
Oh we oh! We oh-oh!
Idiot Brett still managed to get shot
I'm gonna go scope out the upstairs. Oh... all clear!
Dodge warns about tonight for everyone
Same sign that Jaime Hyneman hangs in his lab
I'm interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud internet connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my token ring ethernet LAN configuration?
We have chimichangas down here.
Please don't tell anyone how I live.
(Spoilers) Nothing like cell phone service in the middle of the ocean
Oh my god this water is FUCKING freezing! I am not properly dressed!
This old Burger King still in business
When I get nervous or stressed, my stomach starts to hurt. Unfortunately it works the other way too.
Less than 2 years to go.
No lunging (crosspost from r/funny)
There's something different about you, dad. I am a new tie wearing.
The noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.
Always finish your vegetables.
Homer had Murder of Crows before you did Booker Dewitt
It's the Krusty Komedy Klassic! Hey hey! It's great to be back at the Apollo Theater
They can't charge a husband and wife for the same crime!
Heyyy Dennis. Can I talk to you for a second?
Come on Marge, it's uterus not uter-you
Sorry Arrested Development, Simpsons already had a big hand man
This is what I think of your 4pm driving ban Governor Patrick!
My god, you're greasy.
Scientists, scientists, please. Looking for some order. Some order, please, with the eyes forward and the hands neatly folded and the paying attention... PI is exactly 3!
If I don't save the wee turtles, who will?
The National Weather Service has upgraded Springfield's blizzard from Winter Wonderland to a Class 3 Kill-Storm!
Reserved for DVDs
Sweet Dee's Halloween costume
[Spoilers] My compliments to the chef
Aww, look at him cower. Just like the boy.
Finally finished electrolysis on my eyebrows
I don't understand why we have to build a ray gun to aim at a planet I never even heard of. Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!
I think I wet my bed.
Simpsons making water flow the real Murican way in Australia
Anger is what makes America great.
Remember Hell's Satans? They're back, in pog form.
Remember when he ate my goldfish, and you said I never had a goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?