I have been no contact with my mother for over a decade so I assumed there was an emergency when she called. Nope. She told me she stopped loving me when I told her I was getting divorced 20 years ago. At least I finally got to tell her exactly how I feel? π2yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/insaneparents
After 11 miscarriages, I finally have my rainbow baby. Miss Charlie Bea arrived at 40+5 weighing 9 pounds. Unmedicated 3 hour labor with two pushes and she was here!3yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/BabyBumps
Dude is brave to be out shopping like this in the Bible belt.2yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/peopleofwalmart
My twins think it's hilarious that no one can tell them apart in Animal Crossing either.3yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/AnimalCrossing
The Mustard & Mayo Clinic will be there for all your sandwich related accidents and emergencies.1yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/AnimalCrossingNewHor
What do you call the glowing spot for money trees? My kid called it a Glow-y Hole so obviously that's what it is now. π10mo β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/acnh
When you invite a camper with an amiibo, how long is their stuff available in the Nook machine?1yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/acnh
Mom will never find this if I write it on the wall under the bed!1yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/KidsAreFuckingStupid
My daughter marched in, handed me this, and marched out. Now she's changed her name to The Bisexual Queen on everything possible. I'm just really glad she felt so comfortable telling me. I didn't have that security growing up.3yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/bisexual
My 11 year just handed me this. I hugged her and said, That's awesome. Thank you for telling me. Did you brush and put your retainer in?3yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/lgbt
For Father's day I had masks made for my husband that feed him oxygen and keep him alive in harsh environments.4yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/LV426
If Crocodile Dundee and Freddie Kruger had a baby who was addicted to coke4yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/TigerKing
I'm in labor trying to keep my mind off the pain. Some people use music, but I'm using Deadpool 2.3yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/deadpool
No, it was a little girl selling Girl Scout toilets! I laugh so hard at this every time.1yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/theGoldenGirls
I've decided I'm going to take a sea bass with me to hit rocks. I can never get my holes dug just right and this worked really well.4yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/AnimalCrossing
I wait for this line every time I see this episode and then say the lines with her. You shot my vaaahz! I'd rather you shot Lester!1yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/theGoldenGirls
Thankfully, it was an episode with Gideon, May May, and Karl.9mo β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/RighteousGemstones
Will Smith accepting his Oscar for Best Slap in a Dramatic Overreaction2yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/funny
It's over for me, boys. I always knew The Onion Man was going to get me.2yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/KitchenConfidential
This aggression will not stand, you know? This aggression will not stand, man. The women's sweater is more than double the price.1yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/lebowski
Gulliver loves coming to my island and now I know why. It's either to make out or fight with his girlfriend. Hard to say which is going on here.4yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/NewHorizonsAC
After developing a milk protein allergy as a teenager, I'm about to have a (milk-free) Twix bar for the first time in more than 20 years.2yr β DeadpoolIsMyPatronus β r/mildlyinteresting
