Okay, okay, we need $40,000. Now, how much do we have in the check book? $70. Hmm... have we deposited any $40,000 checks that haven't cleared yet?6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I'm changing the batteries in all the remotes. We're all out of triple A's, so I'm going whittle down a couple of these D's.4yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
“Ahoy there, Dean. I understand you're taking suggestions from students, eh? Well, me and my fourth-form chums think it would be quite corking if you'd sign over your oil well to the local energy concern.”6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Not long ago, the Fox Network approached the producers of The Simpsons with a simple request: 35 new shows to fill a few holes in their programming lineup.6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Hey, Homer, way to get Marge pregnant. This is getting very abstract, but thank you I do enjoy working at the bowling alley.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog!7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Oh, you want the Mr. Plow who plows driveways. This is Tony Plow. You know, from Leave It to Beaver. Yeah. They were gay.5yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
The water flows down here, through the straightaway, a couple of wicked S-turns, around the loop of death and out the mail slot.8yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
All right here are your exams, 50 true or false questions. True. Homer I was just describing the test. True. Look Homer just take the test and you'll do fine. False.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
But so many of your heroes wear tights. Batman, for example and... Magellan.4yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Remember last month when I paid back that loan? Well, now I need you to do a favor for me.8yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Well, he framed me for armed robbery. But, man, am I aching for that upper-class tax cut.4yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Look, I want a cup. Cup. Could you spell that? C-U-P. I wanna C-U- Oh, my God!7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I'm sorry, little girl. We don't just put people on TV. Unless, of course, they're replying to an editorial. Uh, I am! I'm strongly opposed to Proposition, uh, 305! You're against discount bus fares for war widows? Uh, you bet I am.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
The Falkland Islands have just been invaded. I repeat, the Falklands have just been invaded! The disputed islands lie here, off the coast of Argentina.8yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Bart says he won him at a church carnival two towns over. In a truth-telling contest, right, Bart?6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
No, honey, it's a romantic fantasy. I imagine I'm the janitor, and you're... the janitor's wife who has to live with me in the utility room.8yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Oh, everything's cruel according to you. Keeping him chained up in the back yard is cruel. Pulling on his tail is cruel. Yelling in his ears is cruel. Everything is cruel. Well, excuse me if I'm cruel!7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
The orphanage was able to buy a door. Now the monkeys cannot bite me. I am like sugar to them.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Judge, do you have a little sister? Yes. She used to call me Fatty-boomalatty.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Here's the order of deportations. First, you'll be rounding up your tired, then your poor, then your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
First, let me assure you that this is not one of those shady pyramid schemes you've been hearing about. No sir. Our model is the trapezoid7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
We unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards. Aren't snakes worse? We prepared for that. We lined up a type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat. Then we're stuck with gorillas! That's the beautiful part. When winter rolls in the gorillas freeze to death.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
The navitron auto-drive system is driving the truck for me. But keep it a secret. It's a big scam, okay?7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Remember when the last administration decided to invest in our children's future? Big mistake.8yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I tell ya, it's the tightest three hours and 10 minutes on TV. We're cutting 10 minutes from your show. Well, I guess we could trim the hobo parade to a lean 20.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Son, a woman is a lot like a refrigerator. They're about six feet tall, three hundred pounds... they make ice.6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Just like the time I could've met Mr. T. at the mall. The entire day, I kept saying, ''I'll go a little later. I'll go a little later. '' And then when I got there, they told me he just left. And when I asked a mall guy if he would ever come back again he said he didn't know.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I'm interested in upgrading my 28. 8 kilobaud Internet connection to a 1. 5 megabit fiber-optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an I. P. router that's compatible with my token ring Ethernet LAN configuration?6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Now! I'll need three ships and 50 stout men. We'll sail round the horn and return with spices and silk the likes of which ye have never seen.6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
International Brotherhood of Jazz Dancers, Pastry Chefs and Nuclear Technicians6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Another two bit telephone swindle boys. Frankly I expected better from Jimmy the Scumbag.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
We drove around until 3:00 a.m. looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant. And when you couldn't find one? We went fishing.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
And guess who's been practicing medicine without a license? That's right, Homer Simpson.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
The year is 1965, and you and I are undercover detectives on the hot rod circuit! Now let's burn rubber baby!6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
The thing about huckleberry is, once you've had fresh you'll never go back to canned... um, uh, so anyway, I kicked his ass.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Science has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol and chinese food, but I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone!7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
They're heading for the old mill! -NO, WE'RE NOT. Well, let's go to the old mill anyway, get some cider.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
♪♪♪When a fire starts to burn, there's a lesson you must learn. Something, something, then you'll see, you'll avoid catastrophe.♪♪♪7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
It's Patty who chose the life of celibacy. Selma simply had celibacy thrust upon her.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Foolish dingo, you must find and devour the seven crystal babies or spend eternity trapped in deep didgeri-doo!7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
How in the world can you afford to live in a house like this Simpson!? Don't ask me how the economy works.6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Well, you kids are old enough to know the truth, and I'm not going to sugar coat it... so the tiny aorta faries will Mr. Leg Vein on a long trip to get married to Princess Left Ventricle.5yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Hey, look what was in here! A program from that guy's funeral. You mean Frank Grimes? Yeah, him. Whatever happened to that guy?7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Oh, no? Well, if Homer Simpson wants his 10 year old son to work in a burlesque house, then Homer Simpson's 10-year-old son is going to work in a burlesque house! That's the... Hi! Now, Marge, you're gonna hear a lot of crazy talk about Bart working in a burlesque house.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
There was a little Spanish flea. A record star he thought he'd be. He heard of singers like Beatles, The Chipmunks he'd seen on TV. Why not a little Spanish flea?7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
An automatic garage door opener makes you feel like you're working in a futuristic wonder-world.6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
You know, I used to think a car was just a way of getting from point A to point B and on weekends, point C, but that was the old me.6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I'm in television now. It's my job to be repetitive. My job. My job. Repetitiveness is my job.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
You're a cinch to be the World's Fattest Man. No, I'm here for the Greatest Living Actor.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Wait-- if I remember my Heloise the trick to getting out gum is peanut butter.8yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
When will you humans learn that your feelings as you call them can stand in the way of big cash payoffs?7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Well, if kids are so innocent, why is everything bad named after them? Acting childish, kidnapping, child abuse.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I cut my first and only album, Sax on the Beach. But then I spent all my money on my $1,500 a day habit.6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Oh, you're going to love it in Cuba Marge, there's shredded pork everywhere.6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
She's saying, I am a leech. Our aim here is to develop the bottle within.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I have to deliver a message, it's the skywriter's code. I am so sick of that damned code!8yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Why not just make up a middle name? You already made up a phony film credit. No. Homer Simpson does not lie twice on the same form. He never has, and he never will. You lied dozens of times on our mortgage application. Yeah, but they were all part of a single ball of lies.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Oh, sure, nowhe's just a little boy stealing little toys. But someday he'll be a grown man stealing stadiums and... quarries.8yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Anyhoo, we came out of Walmart, when suddenly 100 spaceships... Homer! You're right, you're right. 50 spaceships beamed us aboard.6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
But behind the chortles this funny fivesome was trapped in a private Hell.8yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
No, Mr. Simpson. That's sexual harassment. If you keep it up, I'll yell so loud, the whole country will hear. With Trump in the White House? Not likely.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Let's see... dirt... dirt. Well, there wasn't really much dirt. There was a bunch of old paint cans in the garage, though.6yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
I tell you, I won't live in a town that robs men of the right to marry their cousins.8yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees or dogs with bees in their mouth, and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? Well, go ahead. Do your worst.7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Marge I have my pride. I'm going to go to night school, earn my high school diploma and get back my Most Improved Odor trophy!7yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
Which do you think is more important-- hard work or stick-to-itiveness?8yr ⋅ coolkirb ⋅ r/TheSimpsons
