Our family doesn't need a dog.
It's been 3 1/2 weeks with a bruised rib.
She can't say no if she's DEAD.
Just trying my best
Unseasonably warm is an understatement
Throwback headshot: Brent Burns (I'm on the Vegas bandwagon though)
Just . . . stop, man.
Exclusive interview with Satan. Number 666 will chill you to the bone!
Kids are goats, not Satan's offspring.
MFW I use this trick to get grants* for school.
I met a few that had some serious social issues
Fuck off, devil! (xpost-r/AdviceAnimals)
Deport Muslin Terrorist
Ben Carson declines a cabinet spot because He doesn't have government experience
Being human is the work of the Devil
Then the doctor fainted!
Old lady posts to my hometown for sale group. She's probably done watching all of them
Got it today! I will enjoy it, thank you. (Now where to put it?)
Pass the test now! If you don't you get to take it again. And again. And again...
It keeps your house clean, it will be easier if you move and hey, it's just stuff.
It's one or the other, not both
I'm good here. My wife brought home some hickory chips.
To my credit, I was on a kindergarten field trip and he never said boots
I wanted to do a mind reading card trick with my students. Know your audience.
Fuck me this hurts.
My son sometimes reads himself to sleep
Amazing fact! (Flies in the face of recent studies but) it's on paper so it HAS to be true!
The catacombs of deceased bicycles.
On the fence
Someone's looking over her shoulder
Haven't been able to ride much lately. It's time to teach the little ones how
My daughter wanted to try octopus. I don't know how to make octopus. Bedtime was approaching quickly.