I still live next door to this guy. I have to see him every day.
One of the enlightened moms in my daughter's Girl Scout troop.
I spent the weekend chaperoning a dozen middle school boys at a youth camp. I thought I had a junior Scumbag Steve on my hands. I'm happy to say I was wrong.
To everyone complaining about their asshole bosses, boyfriends, coworkers, etc; a little perspective.
New coworker. I'm white. He's black. I was trying to be friendly. It didn't work.
Every once in a while, eavesdropping pays off.
Whenever an anti-abortion advocate tells me they're opposed to contraception as well.
I could never find Macaroni on the map.
Break a leg
Look, I'm not a big fan of Apple or U2 either, but the mock outrage is pretty ridiculous.
Don't know, don't care.
Just spent 30 minutes running around in the cold. Thank You was the response I was looking for.
Hey parents, keep this in mind.
Give her what she really wants for Valentine's Day.
Biscuits N' Porn
Whenever another Redditor thinks he's being a bad-ass by announcing he's giving me a downvote.
Fuck you online application, fuck you very much.
It has been six years.
My grandfather, enjoying a real bed, after returning from World War II, 1945.
When a meme realizes the peril of its own popularity.
Skyrim Logic: Produce Edition
The woman at the Humane Society said Everyone wants the puppies, nobody wants the the older boy. I'm happy to say she was wrong. Meet Puck.
To the guy who laid on his horn at the crosswalk when my 15 year old, blind, arthritic dog and I were crossing the street.
The guy in front of me at the gas station was counting out pennies to pay for a cup of coffee and complaining about the bitter cold. The cashier was not sympathetic.
Ladies and Gentlemen, my neighbor.
I should probably be concerned, right?
Hey Big Ben, my fantasy team is down by 40 points headed into tonight's game.
[Thanks] Thanks a whole big bunch Kalanz...as you can see, the girls are quite happy.
[Thanks] Kalanz. There are not enough thanks in the universe to express my gratitude. I am shocked and awed. I'll try a more eloquent thanks once my capacity for coherent thought returns. You, sir, are amazing.
Good Guy Sierra Nevada
Riverboat Ron is not impressed by your game winning field goal.
Nothing like starting your second day at work with a visit from human resources.
[Thanks] internal_cannon, for the film version of one of my all-time favorite books. I've been DYING to see this. Thank you SOOOOOOOO much.
Could someone draw my daughter?
The other side of the story
This megachurch pastor from my hometown.
if he wants all of the credit, he should be willing to accept some of the responsibility.
The Toronto Blue Jars are my favorite squadron.
[Gifted] WhiskeyandKittens, for my Sandwich Time contest. You guessed 290, the answer was 292.
[Thanks] Thank you anonymous gifter for the awesome Stone pint glass. Since I can't thank you by name, I'll raise a pint or two (or six) in your honor.
[Gifted] Workin for the Wishlist contest winner, and all around witty conversationalist, Cultural_Infidel.\n\nBecause Fish...and Beards.
[Gifted] One more before bed ...silenceforsilence...welcome.
[Thanks] /u/theresejo, This arrived today...And there was much rejoicing.
[Gifted] Carlyquell...I have my reasons.
A friend's facebook cover photo.
[Gifted] Fluttershy123, another Birthday Twins contest winner. You share a birthday with Honey Boo Boo...you've suffered enough, have a gift.
[Thanks] Thank You Wretchedrenee for my new phone case...now maybe my daughters will stop nagging me about not protecting my phone.
[Gifted] PaganPirate...for reasons.
[Gifted] sirynfollyfallen. I got some Cake Day love today...had to spread some of the love and good wishes around.
[Gifted] /u/eatingdust. I just got a job, you just got a present. Today was a good day.
A friend of mine is a chef. Some dude you may have heard of came in for dinner tonight.
[Gifted] Justalittlejen...a musical easter egg. Your kindness to others can never be fully repaid...hopefully this goes a little way towards that goal.
[Thanks] Kalanz, this brought me more joy than anything they've done on the ice all season.
[Gifted] Henraldo...because Fiddlee, diddlee, deidely dee...that's why.
[Thanks] Kalanz, after what has been the worst day in recent memory, finding these in the mailbox almost made me cry. Can't wait to watch them...as soon as my TV is fixed. Thanks for the silver lining on a big ol' gray cloud of a day.
[Gifted] mepena2...your first gifting deserves a little something in return.
[Gifted] acciocorinne...this song has been playing all weekend in my house...somebody else should get it too.
[Gifted] Contest Winner LizziPizzo. It ain't much, but it's something...thanks for playing.
[Gifted] chemcalfarmr. After a few days of playing email tag with Amazon customer service, I discovered your last gift got lost in transit. Here's a replacement, because a gentleman always honors his responsibilities. Thanks for your patience.
As a Aston Villa supporter in the American South, this was my reaction when I met a guy in the pub who was also wearing an AV jersey.
[Gifted] Yellsie. Because.
[Gifted] redmoonshine. From a former New Yorker (The Bronx, Baby!!!) to a current one...welcome, and enjoy.
[Gifted] RoseMadderX, for being the last person to post a Thanks, because thanks posts are my favorite part of this place.
[Gifted] After listening to Frank Zappa for 8 hours at work, I decided someone else needed some, so I did a wishlist search...why am I not surprised /u/Fred Wampy's name came up?
[Gifted] /u/tandem7 This is part of a concerted effort on my part to be nice to Canadians for the next few days, because once Olympic Hockey starts, you people are the enemy.
[Gifted] PaganPirate, because I haven't talked to you in, like, forever. Plus, you need to represent yourself and your little Pirette's.
[Gifted] kstephens1125...because the random button did its thing...and delivered a fellow Tarheel...it seemed like fate. Plus, I'm big on the Pig.
[Gifted] /u/Roisiny. I can not, in good conscience, treat myself, regardless of what the omnipotent Random Wishlist button says. But I can treat you!