Don’t worry about me, guys. I already finished setting up my defense system for the civil war.2yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/funny
What’s your least favorite cold open? For me, it has to be Oscar breaking a car’s window even though the sunroof was open.1yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/DunderMifflin
Made it to the yeard back in May and got two inches cut off. Back to considering another grooming, but I’m really feeling it.1yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/beards
Since it was just mentioned on SNF, here is the pic of 13-year-old future Chiefs coach Andy Reid at the punt, pass, kick competition.9yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/sports
As far as we know, not only did Dwight never redeem his giant favor, he also saved Oscar from getting his kneecaps busted.10mo ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/DunderMifflin
For anyone outside of the U.S., this is what life looks like when your wife is diagnosed with cancer. One day of mail.5yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/LateStageCapitalism
I guess the last step for installing the baby's car seat is to remove my window decal.4yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/funny
My friend has said for months that he was quitting. I guess today was the day.11yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/funny
My niece commissioned a portrait of my only son. He has never been very smart, but he apparently got accepted into college, and then into outer space.5yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/pics
For an Official Presidential Job Performance Survey, the answer options do seem quite leading.3yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/PoliticalHumor
Well, I'm fairly drunk. I decided to use my typewriter for the first time, and this is what I wrote.11yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/writing
My boss asked if I could think of any reason why our 3rd quarter results were lower than expected...11yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/funny
As an American, this is the only thing I found out from the European survey posted earlier.10yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/AdviceAnimals
After unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant in the suburbs for 2 years, my wife & I have decided to sell our house to rent an apartment in the city.9yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/AdviceAnimals
Thanks to always walking with my head down, I've likely found more of these than anyone you know. Social anxiety: my luckiest charm.9yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/pics
I barely remember this girl from HS, but her statuses are the best part of my day. [FB]11yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/funny
Photographer Niccolo Bonfadini has captured images of a rare phenomenon in the arctic circle: snow dicks.11yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/pics
Today is the 10,000th day I've been alive. My wife bought me an ice cream cake and wrote this on it, albeit sloppily.11yr ⋅ bmacmachine ⋅ r/funny
