69 best u/actibus_consequatur images on Pholder | Aspiememes, Self Awarewolves and Religiousfruitcake

Bookstore employee held me hostage

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The trading cards were scammy? No, surely not.

1yr ⋅

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Only the President, SECDEF, or SECARMY can activate the DC National Guard.

1yr ⋅

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I was not expecting this fantastic outcome.

1yr ⋅

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I cannot come up with a clever title for something so dumb.

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Personally, I don't know any women who would be sad they can't compete, when the prize is a man who was already 30 when their girlfriend was still in diapers.

1yr ⋅

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Presbyterian has a question...

1yr ⋅

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Hell yeah, Eli!

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I never noticed it before, but are those really huge and really small lines of coke on the tables?

1yr ⋅

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Good eve, fair females! After reading that sesquipedalianism is arousing, I ask that you please form an orderly queue instead of throwing yourselves at me. Perchance. (*A Dark Matter* by Peter Straub)

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Getting labeled middle aged on the same day I realized that Animaniacs, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Boy Meets World, and ST:DS9 all turn 30 this year.

1yr ⋅

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One of my favorite reactions to the MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT

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How long do y'all think it'll be until Diet Coke is swapped for Tylenol in the lawtism ads?

6mo ⋅

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I'd also be hard pressed to turn down a cool rock

1yr ⋅

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I also don′t want me to be doing what I'm doing.

1yr ⋅

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Bitch, I'm in an abyss

1yr ⋅

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What do Boebert's car and her arguments have in common? She can't navigate either without crashing.

1yr ⋅

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This was certainly unexpected

1yr ⋅

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That's understandable.

1yr ⋅

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Sorbet says The party of peace at it again. - citing 7 year old clip of a lifelong Republican 'calling' for violence against T

1yr ⋅

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Fellas, bear your cross by singing sexy gay songs for Jesus!

1yr ⋅

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Certainly an interesting Firefly sticker pack...

1yr ⋅

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Women are not easy creatures to coincide with and I feel for every guy that has to deal with our backwards nature.

7mo ⋅

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Don't buy second hand cars? How am I supposed to get an '86 Yugo?

1yr ⋅

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Commercials haven't made me want something since the 1994 K'Nex roller coaster.

1yr ⋅

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Anybody up for a game of Find the Loadbearer?

1yr ⋅

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Women can't drive! Ha ha ha. So original, much funny. (Bonus: This misogyny retweeted by man jealous that Xena was a better show.)

1yr ⋅

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How you feel about Pete Davidson representing line cooks?

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Both sides are the same! - John Adams

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Found this sub looking for a place to post this. Curious about the answer...

3yr ⋅

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Put a basket over the top half of an old woman when having sex and you can't tell the difference! (Ben Franklin - Advice to a Friend on Choosing a Mistress)

1yr ⋅

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Another post reminded me of the TPUSA handbook

2yr ⋅

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YouTube auto-captioning sometimes has problems with Homestar's voice.

1yr ⋅

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This is a decade old but somehow completely new to me

1yr ⋅

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Figured some may enjoy this - *Penny Dreadful* by Will Christopher Baer

2yr ⋅

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If he had realized the effects on *The Ladies*, maybe Strong Bad would've realized his imagination wasn't busted.

5mo ⋅

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You know who would be against a job wanting experimental injections? The guy who got experimental injections so he could get a job.

1yr ⋅

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He is LITERALLY an awesome person.

5yr ⋅

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Current mood: Official FDA Twitter Account

2yr ⋅

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I'll drink the purple stuff

1yr ⋅

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