Every time I got into the bathroom, he follows me in at light speed, then jumps onto the windowsill and just stands like this. I have no idea what’s going on.1yr ⋅ AbsentmindedAuthor ⋅ r/WhatsWrongWithYourCat
I heard this odd noises in the hallway this morning. I didn’t think anything about it—until I opened my office door and saw this little fart nugget. I had just swept the floor an hour before.2yr ⋅ AbsentmindedAuthor ⋅ r/WhatsWrongWithYourCat
Cat: “Why. Just ... why?” Me: “Cuz I had fuzzy balls and you’re just laying there.”2yr ⋅ AbsentmindedAuthor ⋅ r/StuffOnCats
Found this on some light poles in Baltimore today. She duct-taped a copy on all four sides of each pole.1yr ⋅ AbsentmindedAuthor ⋅ r/trashy
Because showing your penis to someone is TOTALLY the same as breastfeeding a child. (Found on r/insanepeopleoffacebook)2yr ⋅ AbsentmindedAuthor ⋅ r/niceguys
She’s had suuuuch a busy day of sleeping and chasing her tail and sleeping and licking herself and sleeping. She’s exhausted and needed a break.1yr ⋅ AbsentmindedAuthor ⋅ r/torties
I did it to myself... I picked up the pizza right when it was ready. Had it on the front seat of the truck, carried it inside the house, and this.2yr ⋅ AbsentmindedAuthor ⋅ r/mildlyinfuriating
Yes, if I’m a woman then my maternal ancestors didn’t hunt. Oh and periods aren’t sexy.10mo ⋅ AbsentmindedAuthor ⋅ r/NotHowGirlsWork
