One day I met Paris Hilton
I think we can all agree...
Love this feeling
Post Fap Paranoia
All of us?
This is how the world will end on may 21
Oh a sarcasm detector, that's a real useful invention
The thing about huckleberries is, once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned...Uh, um... uh, so anyway, I kicked the guy's ass!
Wait, I'm confused about the movie. So the cops knew that internal affairs were setting them up?
It's come to this
Good evening young man, my name is Charles Norwood. Furthermore to this beer, I would also like three of your finest, cheapest cigars. Here's my ID which confirms my adultivity.
A, down c, right c, right c, left c
What he's typed will be a window into his madness
MFW I realize I'm out of toilet paper mid shit
Hello, Homer, I'm George Harrison. \nOh my God! Where did you get that brownie?\n
You are hearing me talk
Mr Burns, this is Homer J Simpson, the father of the big quitter... well I just want to tell you, I'm a big quitter too... and I quit
I can't go on, you two go ahead... and carry me with you
Let's never drink again
I think I wet my bed
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to prove to you not only that Freddy Quimby is guilty, but that he is also innocent of not being guilty.
Radiant cool, Crazy nightmares, Zen New Jersey nowhere...How now brown bureaucrat?
Hike from my spring break, Harts Pass in Winthrop WA
Trolldad said I always beat my record, though there were no statistics...
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Class instead of going to the box factory today, we'll be going to the... box factory
That's damn fine coffee you got here in Twin Peaks, and damn good cherry pie!
I'd like a yellow boat please, with extra motors
Love this encounter
Buy him out boys!
Be there and be square
nectar of the gods 
Gas Pump Rage
Oh my god, somebody took a bite out of the giant rice krispy square. Oh, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.
And there's the cane from Citizen Kane
No deal, McCutcheon that moon money is mine!
Diving in Missouri this weekend - Bonne Terre mine
Annual Gift Man
Hi, um let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a bottle of old harper, a couple of those panty shields, and some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas
Put out an A.P.B on Uosdwis R Dewoh
Twenty-five years old? You're not twenty-five years old. This ID is completely fake!
I don't know what's in them, I just know I can't stop smoking them