R. Kelly is *technically* not a pedophile
Buying 1000 likes for 5 dollars
Yesterday in /r/jokes, a karmawhore account ripped off one of my old standupshots, word-for-word. It hit #1 with 23.6k upvotes, with my credit stripped out. It’s not my favorite bit, but if it’s good enough to steal, it’s good enough to repost.
In honor of what would have been Mitch Hedberg's 50th birthday, here's a picture of him when he was younger.
Sartre Day Night Live
It's all relative.
1 out of 10
A possible deterrent to mass shooters
I call BS
I'm at the age where all my friends are getting married... for the second time
Mine is also way more expensive.
Y'all get it
Snitches aint bitches
Growing up Arab in Mississippi
Comedy in the Time of Coronavirus
Good ole Los Angeles.
The Ijewminatti Is-real
You're Welcome Nancy Reagan
Excited to see Black Panther!
My name is Jonas
If Trump wasn’t Trump
I really just want to be comfortable
Welcome to America.
Gender double standard
Overwatch Your Damn Kids.
Like I'm A Disney Villain
The most important meal of the day
There's only one good use for it
I love the _____ People
That's not jihad, that's Jim Bob
The apple juice hater
Legalize it, not them
Is that too much to ask
Skinnies be ironing
That plan back-fired
This comedian will self destruct...
Dara Ó Briain on religion jokes
An anorexic woman was looking at me.
Kids Keep No Secrets
Child of Divorce
Referred by my mom
Los Angeles, the city of way too many words.
Best year of your father's life
says what I have is chronic, well, the chronic...
The good old days were terrible
seems appropriate for pride month...
I prefer farm-to-table rich people.
Roll a deception check
What I know about AKs and AR-15s?
Our Father Who Aren't In Heaven
I Hurt, Huckabees
An Inconvenient Truth
Wrestling Is Fake
Well... that's only natural.
Shared dreams and passwords
...or his tax returns
I'm a realist
Sorry, I Didn't See the Lipstick
My figurative friend
Took a DNA Test
Chill out and eat an avocado
Dating Advice from Women
Kites are way better, too.
New York City
It's Always the Hungry One
Poetry In Motion
Back to the Drawing Board
Passive aggressive coffee shop signs
He lives in a society.
When in Dublin
Don't argue with your family about Trump, today. Argue about Andrew Jackson.
And don't get me started on babies
daylight savings tim
The Second Least Popular Kid
Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!
Romesh Ranganathan on Iggy Azalea
Love is blind
I have the trappings of an older soul
As Long As Its Healthy
Meeting the gf's dad
100% reason to remember the name
Trying to get more active this year.
What's in the box?
Hailing a Cab to Jail
Being poor really changes your perspective on things
Crazy Rich Latinos
Easter Mass Appeal
Marvel claims to defy stereotypes but
Blitzkrieg me once, shame on you.
When does life truly begin?
Happy Birthday, Grandpa!
I am become gardener, destroyer of my own tomatoes
I believe it's called yogging.
Not having healthcare?
I don't know the meaning of the word quit. I was going to look it up, but...