you summon a dish of these candies that never runs out the day you become a grandparent.5yr ⋅ mromcl ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You have the ability to pick up metal salad tongs without test clicking.5yr ⋅ Professor_Matty ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can summon and banish the great cocaine bear at will, it won't attack you, but neither can you control it5yr ⋅ Bernartikus ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can sing any song perfectly but it has been put through Google Translate 10,000 times5yr ⋅ Entrei6 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can turn into a celestial body. Once. And you can't turn back.5yr ⋅ Patchirisu ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
what ever bag you touch automatically gets filled with 50% air5yr ⋅ 1984ToyotaCorolla ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can summon 10 million fireflies by screaming “YEET” at the top of your lungs5yr ⋅ StepOffMyTimbs ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
Over a period of 18 uninterrupted hours you can transform yourself into a car.5yr ⋅ WanderingToast ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
The ability to convince anyone to take your advice if you are peeling and eating an apple.5yr ⋅ Marlereric ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can turn into Will Smith genie during life threatening situations.5yr ⋅ Waluinguini ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
Touching a phone makes all grandpas in a 50 mile radius say texting your girlfriend?5yr ⋅ homelesshobo47 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can physically hurt someone by aggressively dancing outdated or annoying trendy dances.5yr ⋅ Derpmaster20XX ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
Your tongue has the physical properties of a stick of bubblegum. You can painlessly chew it and blow bubbles with it.5yr ⋅ AgentK2 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
Don't be confused by this bird, in reality it's a cat transformed into raven5yr ⋅ herdek550 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You get to choose who becomes president, but only the person you don’t want to win5yr ⋅ infectedzombieguy ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
your hands can produce flames but only for cooking a ribeye steak5yr ⋅ trapsarenotnotgay ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can materialize a cool hat *and* kill everyone at the same time5yr ⋅ [deleted] ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can make this image appear in everyones eyes in a 1 mile radius as long as someone asked you guess who?5yr ⋅ BoozeHuman ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can control the speed of which everything dies exept lobsters5yr ⋅ The-massive-boi ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can do something when someone tells you you can't do it. You can't ask someone to tell you you can't do something.5yr ⋅ Red1Monster ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You have magnuts (magnetic nuts) and your testicles are the same charge so they spin in your nutsack5yr ⋅ izaihb ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can impress girls by farting 3 meters above the ground.5yr ⋅ EliminatedHatred ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You could transform into a cardboard cutout of Dr Phil after watching 100 episodes.5yr ⋅ MassivelyStumped ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can cheat on school tests by seeing the answers of the lowest-scoring student5yr ⋅ CleanAsUhWhistle1 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
Sticks and Stones can’t break your bones, only words can hurt you.5yr ⋅ stephanzo ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You have the power to erase space by swiping your right hand but your a fucking idiot5yr ⋅ A-sad-meme- ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can do whatever the hell this is with your peen (you can also grow foreskin at will)5yr ⋅ [deleted] ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
you can make your face into the laughing crying emoji with eyes open6yr ⋅ [deleted] ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can control white people by giving them cheese (but it has to be 10kg of cheese)5yr ⋅ LKermentz ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You are the best rapper ever, but you can only rap about icecream5yr ⋅ Squirrelben ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can change the form of your body matter to a vapour, and can’t change back.5yr ⋅ TheFallenLMC ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
The power to have the best trade deals in the history of trade deals.6yr ⋅ On_we_clash ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can turn invisible but only while a part of your body is on fire.5yr ⋅ 50pciggy ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
Your IQ fluctuates back and forth from 80 to 200 every 3 seconds6yr ⋅ Coffee_Prophet ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
you'll be able to shit out dildos out of thin air(related crosspost)5yr ⋅ warptwenty1 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
The ability to manipulate hats as long as you say the hat in the jeopardy kind of way.5yr ⋅ Gilbertisok ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can run faster than anything on earth... But friction is an issue!5yr ⋅ [deleted] ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
