You have the ability to maniacally dance like a freestyle dance instructor upon hearing the news of the death of a loved one5yr ⋅ ligmadeeznuts69 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
Everytime you like something, a puppy of your choice grows bigger5yr ⋅ RebelBase3 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
Once a month, you can make a chicken noise as loud as a jet engine5yr ⋅ SystematicSpoon ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You are able to grant anyone the ability to clean shit and will always know when they do.5yr ⋅ hellotherespencer ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You have the power to rewrite DNA, but you don't use it for anything useful.5yr ⋅ thegovmtarelizards ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
I saw these axbymag superpowers and felt they absolutely belonged here6yr ⋅ Jeffoir ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You are capable of wielding a sword of any size. It’s weight won’t be a problem for you muscles, but it probably will for your bones.5yr ⋅ OInkymoo ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can contort your face in the manner of a gmod video (Example below)5yr ⋅ DELTA-THE-FOURTH-ONE ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
Every time you close ur eyes, all you can see is Danny devito eating an egg5yr ⋅ SUB2PEWDIEPIE857 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can do a perfect moonwalk but only while resigning from your job5yr ⋅ jdauriemma ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can light up your eyes like in the memes, only while looking at dank memes5yr ⋅ Lazuli26 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can turn your head into spaghetti. Even your skull and brains, everything in your head turns into spaghetti, although you remain fully conscious. Loss of spaghetti matter will result in missing skin and flesh, and at worst, skull or brain. Severed spaghetti will not damage, only it falling off.5yr ⋅ TheronEpic ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
you can protest anything on twitter without using your phone or computer5yr ⋅ darkshreaders2 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can pull up your pants as far as you'd like, and it just extends your legs.5yr ⋅ Cam3rashy_ ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
This. Your intelligence changes depending on your appearance. For example, waking up disheveled will make your dumb. Wearing plainclothes will give you average intelligence. Semi-formal clothes such as a button-down shirt and khakis will make you quite smart. A tux will make you Harvard material.5yr ⋅ hoorayunit ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can levitate as long as you are wearing a suit and have your hand in this position.5yr ⋅ CandyCrazy2000 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can invert all physic's laws when using the UNO reverse card5yr ⋅ MomoKrono ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
The ability to turn into any video game villain but with the face of Maui5yr ⋅ kmp3e_ ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
Sticks and stones cannot break your bones but words will always hurt you.5yr ⋅ IceBerg3141 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can stop time, but if you kill someone, they have to cum first5yr ⋅ Jlegobot ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You have inhuman parkour powers but can only climb on things that are painted5yr ⋅ diceNslice ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
The ability to see through items specifically designed for use on your ass.6yr ⋅ TmickyD ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can switch the brand of a container, and the contents inside said container change along with the brand5yr ⋅ _xParagon ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You have the ability to make sex noises play through anyone's headphones.5yr ⋅ Quest_Boy1 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can make your coffee how you want it based on what it says.5yr ⋅ rajutkarsh ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
you control the speed at which all aquatic creatures die... but not lobsters5yr ⋅ jaz123410 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can fire kittens from your sleeves like spider man does with webs5yr ⋅ Nerdico ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can grow dicks on any surface but only you can see or interact with them.5yr ⋅ sukiwave ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can stay in the exact location in space at any given time.5yr ⋅ The-Parzival ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
Everyone you date finds true love days after breaking up with you5yr ⋅ biplaneboi_ ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
The ability to stand so, incredibly still, you become invisible to the eye.5yr ⋅ MythicallWaffle ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
The ability to transfer all of your stress to your neighbour’s cat5yr ⋅ UncleOld ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can move slightly faster than someone who moves slower than you5yr ⋅ TraitorousFiend ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
The ability to detach your right eye and turn it into a spider thing that you have no control of.5yr ⋅ Undefined_Unit ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can turn melons into apricots and therefore solve world hunger.5yr ⋅ dooksplosion ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
The ability to travel 1 minute into the future but you stay exactly where you are in space, so the earth keeps going without you.5yr ⋅ shinysharpshot ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
Whenever pie is mentioned you can do any math in your head, if not you cannot even do the simplest of math5yr ⋅ blobzillgom ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can irreversibly seal up any hole in you body, but only if you were born with it.6yr ⋅ Seduogre ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can speak to ducks but they only critize your fashion sense and have really flamboyant sounding voices5yr ⋅ darkshreaders2 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
Your body spontaneously grows hair everywhere, rapidly, and at random.5yr ⋅ k0r0ze ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You have the power to put in any usb the right way the first time5yr ⋅ Boosucker0 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
You can fast forward time by drinking water, but only between 7am-9pm5yr ⋅ _Cowdude2 ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
The ability to make any face i want, example: this image.5yr ⋅ Theysunkmybattleship ⋅ r/shittysuperpowers
