We have your hedgehog. 10000 $ in small notes if you want him back.

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Contrary to popular belief, the world doesn't just turn on its own. It's actually reindeer powered.

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Every year, thousands of dogs are abandoned on the side of the road and have to adapt to the wild.

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Before electricity was invented, cats were used to oscillate washing machines.

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Peaches must be harvested on time or they will reach the next stage in their life cycle, seen here

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Every year, millions of Americans come together to celebrate carnivorous birds of prey with exceptional neck flexibility and revel in the glory of the Almighty SuperbOwl

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Some seals adopt extreme workout routines that require a situp for every breathe or you drown and die

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If raised by bears, these cubs will become bears. If raised by dogs, they'll be dogs. Or, if left alone, they will grow into the hybrid of the two: hyenas.

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While most beavers are very self-conscious about their table manners and only eat with utensils, ones raised in captivity simply do not give a dam

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Cold, Hard Truths About Penguins

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Hippos are big fans of 90s alt-rock. Here they are expressing their love of one of their favorite bands.

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Like most trees, Dogwoods need water, but unlike most, it also needs food and exercise to properly grow and thrive.

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Some quick penguin facts.

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Poor Turtles

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If you are ever besieged by piranhas, simply feed them bananas

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The octopus is so intelligent it can camouflage as a cat

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Tigers love pumpkins because they think they're orange tiger eggs

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Tigers are scaredy-cats.

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The Truth About Dolphins

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Young meerkats race wantonly about so fast in the colony that they often collide with the elderly. The ringleaders are disciplined by time-out on a tortoise, where they learn to see their world and accept the necessity to move about responsibly.

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TIL How Camels are made.

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The average domestic cat spends 2/3 of their life asleep. The other third is spent fidget spinning on owners laps

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The platypus is the only mammal known for its exhibitionism

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Pallas cats will stare at one another to communicate telepallasthicly

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Octopi are bad fishes!

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The American Howling Retriever is a breed of dog with extremely coyote like features. In fact, the only difference between it and a common coyote is my refusal to ever admit I've made a mistake and all the benadryl I keep giving it so it won't maul me.

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Seals vs Sea Lions

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Newly hatched birds often use their shells as armour

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Dogs do not fear dinosaurs, because animals all instinctively know when other animals are actually extinct

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Bunnies will often self-select and organize themselves by color shade, because they're actually super racist

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Once thought extinct, Lutehounds are making a comeback.

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New genome sequencing shows evidence that chickens are directly descended from Tyrannosaurus rex.

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Hyenas will use their cuteness to approach tourists, and when they're close enough, will spread coronavirus to them as punishment for failing to socially distance.

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Penguins in the zoos must be erected.

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Due to their colorblindness, thick fur, and its lack of scent, most dogs are utterly incapable of sensing snow, leaving them totally unaware of its existence.

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Siberian Huskies are so hot that when they touch water, it may instantly boil.

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TIL that NASA has recently concluded a 50 year study of bringing mice into space that has confirmed their long held theory that it is fun to bring mice into space.

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As the quarantine drags on, you may find yourself to begin cleaning pet turtles. Resist this urge, as it often leads to the turtles developing an unhealthy addiction to pampering.

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Electric eels are up to 60% more energy-efficient than older gas eels.

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Poor thing

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It is popular for The Cantor's giant softshell turtle to remain uncircumcised. A trend that baffles scientists to this day.

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Hay'lls Angels is one of the most notorious gangs of the upper upper upper west side

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This bierd has no name, because scientists cannot stop laughing long enough to give it one

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Geckos will commonly prey on house cats. Due to the size difference, they have never been observed actually killing a cat, but it is not for a lack of effort.

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Newly hatched birds often use their shells as armour

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Although snails are unable to mate until they reach sexual maturity, cherrystem snails (Fruitinae erectus) begin making out as subadults.

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This is the existential crisis bird. It is ok to pet the existential crisis bird. It will just lie there, staring into space, wondering why it should care.

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Borzoi is one of two breeds of dogs that were bred to pollinate the flowers.

5yr ⋅

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Hedgehog-on-toast is one of England's most prized delicacies.

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If not properly disposed of in a timely fashion, the remnants of spaying and neutering your dog may come alive

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This bierd is endangered. Its beak has been photoshopped out to protect its identity.

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If isolation is getting boring, consider finding a pine cone and growing it into a striped cuckoo bird!

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The brain of a cuttlefish is bigger than its entire body. Including its brain. This might not make sense to you, but it does to the cuttlefish, because it has a very big brain.

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Pangolins are the most illegally trafficked animal because of their expertise in demolition and construction

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It is custom for Red Pandas to collect flowers after Valentine's Day, and deliver them unto those who received none. Here are yours, loser!

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Bears that are frequently exposed to humans have begun evolving to walk on their hind legs in an attempt to trick humans into raising their young

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In 2005 scientists at Seoul National University managed to cross dog with seal. Sadly, the only specimen that survived to adulthood was born blind.

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Over 90% of tigers live below the federal poverty line and must work second or third jobs to make ends meet.

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Anteaters

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Orange tabbies are better at social distancing than other color cats, as shown here. Remember, try and keep at least 6 feet of distance between yourself and others!

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The Hoatzin is a small dinosaur that lives in South America.

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The Wolf is actually the Melon's only natural Predator. After the Wolf populations began to die out, society was overrun with wild melons, before ultimately deciding to decimate the wild population by means of consumption.

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The ducks at the park

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Dragons are real, they've just shrunk down and stopped breathing fire (to help fight climate change.)

3yr ⋅

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In more progressive areas, young kids are given state-issued protection for their playtime with friends

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Unique among predators is the ocelot, a small, semi-arboreal feline that immobilizes its prey by hypnosis.

3yr ⋅

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Bulldogs are not named for their likeness to bulls, but rather, to bulldozers

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After centuries of repeatedly being mistaken for snakes by humans, European legless lizards now have crippling self-esteem and identity issues.

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Rhinos are often given piles of cocaine to make the notoriously boring animals more interesting for zoo visitors. Extended use can lead to horn loss, hence why the practice of reducing the size of one's nose is called rhinoplasty.

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In an attempt to show the commercial potential of genetic engineering research, scientists in the late 2000s created a species of pet and sniff chinchillas. They were a complete commercial failure due to the high cost and because the only flavor they made was black licorice.

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Like most rodents, well-groomed chinchillas are naturally all-white, with fur color coming only from dirt and dust in their surroundings.

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Baby hippos love to eat noses that are offered as a snack, rent

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Alligators are not naturally green. Their scales are actually dirty from algae and other gunk from the water they live in. A good scrubbing will return their scales to their pristine white.

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Alligators are naturally very docile and easily domesticated, so you should always feel very comfortable and safe interacting with random wild animals that have big teeth and claws.

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According to WikiLeaks, Australian army develops a special unit of combat wombats.

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After the reach adulthood, raccoons find a pond and swim until they become koi fish.

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DARPA trained otters to work on underwater pipelines as part of the US foreign energy strategy.

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When some turtle species feel threatened, they are instantly able to upgrade.

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A hedgehog's spikes help to ward off would-be tax collectors.

2yr ⋅

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I don't believe OP

3yr ⋅

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This cat is Inigo Montoya. You killed his father. Prepare to die.

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There is a rare species of dolphins that actually live on land.

4yr ⋅

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Puppies of sufficient cuteness have the ability to defy gravity

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When a Baby Buffalo leaves for his first hunt, it is customary for its father to say Bison.

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Wisdom of wolves

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The baby Pika needs to stay isolated in its den for months on end before developing enough of an electrical charge to fight

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In 2018, a species of mouse was discovered that can shoot laser beams from their noses. Biologists have called this discovery, cool as shit.

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Cats are made of bees.

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Unlike humans, animals universally recognize that we're in a climate crisis, and have doubled down on mass transit

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Designer Gryphons are the hottest fad of 2022.

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Flamingos stand on one leg, because if they stood on no legs they would fall over

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Sober rats, are squares,man.

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With the social isolation lockdown entering a new week, ancient animals are once again appearing. This baby dragon, for example, just hatched after a thousand year incubation, as the silence of the humans made it believe its time had come.

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Adolescent reindeer are referred to as drizzlefawns

4yr ⋅

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Shellboys need to be regularly watered to prevent spontaneous combustion

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Turtles raised in urban environments will display brighter coloration patterns- this one blending in with orange road cones

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Chihuahuas are such malformed abominations of dogs that their proportions and features will cause pigeons to see them as baby birds.

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This is the snoozleberry hound. A breed of dog that has been bred to be so specialized at sniffing out snoozleberries that their brain has almost no other functionality. This ability rarely is needed as snoozleberries don't exist so they spend most of their time just sitting there looking derpy.

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Orang Utangs are notorious scammers. This Orang Utang wants you to pay a toll to cross a free bridge.

1yr ⋅

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Corrigan's Hawk, AKA the Wrong Way Hawk, is technically flightless, and maintains altitude purely by misunderstanding which direction gravity is supposed to pull it.

1yr ⋅

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Wombats are naturally averse to any rectangular opening, because it reminds them of their own square-shaped anus

3yr ⋅

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This is the gaslighting cat. You have forgotten to feed the gaslighting cat.

3yr ⋅

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Much like their sea counterparts, land sharks grow rows of teeth which are worn down by heavy use.

4yr ⋅

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Cats are made of bees.

1yr ⋅

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Helicopters are a group of large insects that form the order Helicoptera.

3yr ⋅

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After the popularity of the longcat meme in 2006, New Delhi scientist Itisha Catashnek began a highly controversial breeding program, injecting cat sperm with snake DNA. In 2015 she succeeded. Reddit, meet Manasha, the world's first longcat loaf.

7yr ⋅

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Due to their innate sense of rhythm thanks to a life structured around the tides, sea mammal drum solos are otterly unbelievable

5yr ⋅

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Winters in the Arctic are so cold that researchers are forced to hire polar bears as photographers.

3yr ⋅

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Does this count?

1yr ⋅

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Tiger's bite is the best remedy for carpal tunnel syndrome.

3yr ⋅

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This is the census hound. A highly aggressive super-predator bred by the US Census Bureau to track down crazy libertarians living in the woods off the grid so they can be counted.

1yr ⋅

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The myth that a rabbit's foot is lucky comes from the idea that if you were such a psychopath that you would tote around the severed limb of an adorable, you were lucky no one's kicked your ass yet.

4yr ⋅

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Honey badgers are great support animals

4yr ⋅

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Dogs are very prone to doing their business near Jeeps. This is because their strong noses and biological instincts lead them to shit near other shit

4yr ⋅

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Many sheep can't understand what all the blackface commotion in Canada is about.

4yr ⋅

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Tree frogs tend to ride Volkswagen Beetles to traverse rainforests.

4yr ⋅

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While seemingly named due to its small size, the Finger Monkey is actually named after its favourite food: Fingers.

1yr ⋅

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Although they look full grown, immature trucklings can't balance their loads properly for the long difficult migration routes of the American continent :(

2yr ⋅

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Though many believe the biggest difference between seapuppies and doggos is their aquatic nature, really it's their incredibly shy demeanor as solitary creatures.

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A. tangerinus

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Neckalopes are the closest mammalian equivalent to snakes, and consist entirely of an elongated neck and two noodley hooved neckarms.

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Manta rays travel with a posse because of their crippling fear of lonliness

4yr ⋅

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tank puppies require regular grooming to prevent over-armoring

4yr ⋅

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The average rural North American household has 1.72 dogs. While most have a round number of dogs, this is what .72 dogs looks like.

1yr ⋅

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The rhinoceros viper sports a small, spooky ghost on it's forehead to scare of superstitious predators.

2yr ⋅

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When a honey badger eats a porcupine, the honey badger will have this pin cushiony appearance until the porcupine is fully digested.

2yr ⋅

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the bigger the cat, the easier it is to startle

4yr ⋅

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The black palm cockatoo is the only bird created during Mother Nature's satanist phase that has survived to modern day

3yr ⋅

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This is the MK Ultra cat. Do not take pills given to you by the MK Ultra cat.

4yr ⋅

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The dumbo octopus is so named because it's just so damned stupid

5yr ⋅

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Baby hippos love to eat noses that are offered as a snack

4yr ⋅

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In some places that have yet to adopt alarm clocks, it is customary for an alpaca or llama to do rounds in the morning to wake everyone up

4yr ⋅

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Recently discovered Floridan Hissy Snek is the first animal that preys on baby Roombas.

3yr ⋅

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The famous Flamenco dance is derived from the Spanish dancer sea slug, the official marine invertebrate of Spain

3yr ⋅

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Rich pigeons often wear necklaces made out of bread to show off their wealth

3yr ⋅

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Pigs are now evolving protection against become easy prey to the canned meat industry. The armoured ham pig will soon no longer be available in the grocery store. Sorry to post spam on this sub.

1yr ⋅

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A meerkat caught giving the enemy information in The Giraffe/Meerkat War of 1969. This meerkat was shot.

2yr ⋅

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Mud skippers struggle all their lives to perfect two-part harmony.

1yr ⋅

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Pandas have highly developed espionage skills and tactical combat instincts, making them the animal kingdom's top operators.

5yr ⋅

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Life in quarantine may leave you feeling desperate for contact with other living things. If that is the case, you should always feel totally comfortable sneaking up on and touching predatory species with sharp claws and beaks or teeth. Totally a smart thing to do.

4yr ⋅

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Dolphins do drugs to forget.

3yr ⋅

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The Fossa is only Madagascar's largest carnivore because of the massive amounts of steroids they're all doing all the time

3yr ⋅

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Snakes have a social-anxiety posture.

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