MFW I visit /r/GoneWild

5yr ⋅ ⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

MFW I hear my Husband in the kitchen looking for the last Muffin

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW it's a really big poop.

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I tell my wife that sex doesn't count as an anniversary present.

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I have to listen to my wife bitch for the next 4 years.

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I accidentally type '-tino' instead of '-tion'

6yr ⋅

⋅

MFW when my boss walks by to see if I'm working but I heard the keys on her lanyard coming so I had time to prepare.

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I'm hacking ISIS

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I'm on /r/gonewild

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I'm having to neglect my work & attend some lame-ass team building exercise

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I had Taco Bell for breakfast, Chipotle for lunch, and White Castle for dinner

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I'm working in Donald Trump's campaign headquarters.

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW my best friend is killing his speech in class and he looks at me

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I hear my gf fart for the first time

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW i go to the barber at 8 in the morning after a night out and i'm sitting there half drunk, half asleep, not understanding a word what the hairdresser says.

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW Mods Remove My Post After Its Twelve Hours Old and Is On The Front Page

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I'm about to fuck over the internet of an entire country

6yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I get a text at 3am.

9yr ⋅

⋅

Mfw I heard Of the US single-party controlled gov. Shutdown

6yr ⋅

⋅

MFW someone refuses to be silenced.

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW my friend posts all of her complaints about life on facebook.

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I'm enjoying that cannoli filling.

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW it's better down where it's wetter

7yr ⋅

⋅

mfw i got fallout 4

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW when my friend says something stupid and I can't tell if they're serious

6yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

MFW I'm the programmer that suggested removing the slide to unlock feature in the new IOS update

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW my friends asks me if I want to go to a renaissance festival

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I read something on TIL that I’ve known for a long time

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW my friend asks if I'm feelin' it yet.

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW waiting for my girlfriends period to end.

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW it's my day off and I can sleep in, but anxiety over being late causes me to wake up an hour early

6yr ⋅

⋅

MFW my nephew says his Christmas present is so big it has to stay in the backyard.

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I brake so smoothly that I don't even feel the car stop

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW driving in Seattle

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I have to poop and I hit every red light on the way home

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I hear about kids butt chugging

8yr ⋅

⋅

Mfw the professor tells the class to find a partner for the project

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW working in Staples and a nervous looking guy in a tracksuit tries to buy plastic baggies and a set of weighing scales together.

10yr ⋅

⋅

MFW someone tells me covfefe isn't a word.

7yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

MFW I make it through a 9 hour work day plus another 4 hours of class

6yr ⋅

⋅

MFW a Florida police officer got fired for sending this picture to his supervisor

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I'm out of shape and hate mysef

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I whip out my dong at a feminist pride walk

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW my wife tells me she made gluten and dairy free cookies and that the recipe called for sugar but she left it out because sugar is bad for you.

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW Deleting a Heavily Downvoted Comment

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW Chairman Pao ruined my cakeday

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I realize its my cakeday and I've been here 7 years

9yr ⋅

⋅

mfw the democrats and republicans start doubting their own parties

6yr ⋅

⋅

MFW my SO flips lights on at the butt crack of dawn.

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I saw the new Star Wars official trailer

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW my post gets lots of upvotes, but nobody comments

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I left a good job in my country to seek a better opportunity in America.

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I lose my fedora

10yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I forget to pay the electricity bill

10yr ⋅

⋅

MFW someone gives me a Dove.

7yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

MFW my 4 year old son wants bacon and eggs for dinner

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW it falls into a state of disrepair and becomes derelict

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I Finally Turn 21 and then the Bartender Asks For My ID...

9yr ⋅

⋅

As a 30 year old with a 21 year old girlfriend.

11yr ⋅

⋅

When somebody does something XTREME

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I go into Party City the day before Halloween because I forgot something for my costume...

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW my girlfriend asks me if I'm wasted.

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW when they called back with an offer after the interview

6yr ⋅

⋅

MFW finding out Trump has a sister

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I open snapchat and accidentally see myself.

9yr ⋅

⋅

My Wife's Face When her relative keeps inserting a stuffed animal into our wedding photos.

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW my boss tells me I have 200+ hours of paid vacation saved that I need to burn through before April

11yr ⋅

⋅

When you're at your friends house and their parents call them by their full name

12yr ⋅

⋅

MFW a Kenyan suiter offers my dad, the President of the United States, 500 cows for my hand in marriage

9yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

MFW I know i'm home alone, but I still check everyone's doors before I beat my meat.

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW when my GF complains about me playin with LEGOs

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I wasted away my summer vacation and there's a week left

9yr ⋅

⋅

Mfw I win at bar trivia

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I don't understand what's going over at YouTube

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I'm caught sweeping the floor with my imaginary broom

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I am high af outside my own body

6yr ⋅

⋅

MFW Reading the Terms and Conditions

10yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I just filled up with $1.70 gas

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I hear the Jurassic Park theme being played anywhere.

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I just got done running in P.E. and then a pretty girl smiles at me.

6yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I work in a sperm bank

9yr ⋅

⋅

Mfw I ask my buddy if anyone will notice that I'm high

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I touch food while washing dishes

10yr ⋅

⋅

Mfw I'm playing civ 5 and finish a war with a huge army but they have nothing to do now

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW the UK is leaving the EU, Scotland is leaving the UK, and Northern Ireland is joining regular Ireland

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW my mom is in town so I have to pretend that I'm totally fine and can function as an actual adult.

8yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

MFW my vegan pizza contains parmesan cheese in the sauce.

8yr ⋅

⋅

Stood on my bed to kill a stink bug in the top corner of my room. Immediately felt the wrath of karma as I turn around and hit my head on the ceiling fan... It was on high. The light blew out. Now I'm sitting in darkness and I think I'm bleeding. MFW I hear the stink bug buzz across my room.

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW somebody tells me no rush.

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I thought it was the national anthem but it wasn't

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW this Call of Duty beta has still not been released yet

6yr ⋅

⋅

MFW cousin is dipping and I hand him a spit bottle and he says I don't need a spitter.

8yr ⋅

⋅

MRW someone asks if they can have some of my Fruit by the FootTM

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I decided to check out /r/The_Donald for the first time.

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I listen to the hamburger helper mix tape.

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I find out my gf is a squirter (also here to reap my annual cakeday karma)

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW i got way too high and realized i could feel the air

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW it's my birthday but I got no friends

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I search my feelings and I know it to be true

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW someone tells me I should shave my beard.

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW she cums from tongue

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I'm the only one home and the TV in the other room turns on.

9yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

mfw I want to get in all the fun at r/blackpeopleTwitter, but can't because I'm a honky.

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW summer is over and it's the first cold night of the year (x-post from r/ProductPorn)

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I come to terms with the fact that my cakeday is always overshadowed by April Fool's Day

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW somebody confuses me with my brother.

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW my annoying little cousin challenges me to Super Smash Bros

10yr ⋅

⋅

MFW i talked a lot of shit to a girl saying I'm good at giving a massage and now she actually wants a massage so I'm searching up how to give a massage to back up my bullshit

7yr ⋅

⋅

How I feel when I upvote a -200 post.

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW Me and my bro find some sick new sunglasses

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I go to take a shit and it starts to burn..

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I delete my browser history in front of my mom and she asks why.

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW: I get called creepy for trying to make plans to meet over drinks and hookup on Tinder

9yr ⋅

⋅

My kids' reaction when I try to feed them something healthy for once.

6yr ⋅

⋅

MRW my GF gets out of the shower freshly shaved

10yr ⋅

⋅

MFW the chicken nuggets & fries have the same baking temperature.

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I'm drunk and meeting new people

11yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

MFW I discovered that holographic wills exists! Then MFW I found out what they were.

9yr ⋅

⋅

Mfw my hand is impaled by my staff, but Im a king, so I aint no pussy bitch

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I accidentally have German subtitles on

7yr ⋅

⋅

Grammar Nazis...

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW i touch a piece of food while doing the dishes

10yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I realise my 4 year cake day is today, and not yesterday.

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I heard christians are buying Starbucks and giving their name as Merry Christmas as a way to boycott/prank them.

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I got Fallout 4 on my mind

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I whisper a joke to my friend in class, and then she yells it out for the whole class to laugh at.

10yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I don't have Tupperware but need to take my salad with me for lunch.

6yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I keep hearing about a big interview with Stormy

6yr ⋅

⋅

MFW 10 minutes into my TV show and she's still talking

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I received not just 1 month, but 12 months of reddit gold for a post

12yr ⋅

⋅

MFW my favorite Republican candidate loses

6yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT

MFW introverted and going downstairs to a party to grab some food

10yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I found out my x's amazing boyfriend that she cheated on me with and left me for, got heavy into heroin, lost his job, and fucked her over.

8yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I remember swans can be gay

5yr ⋅

⋅

MFW my parents catch me in the kitchen at 2 in the morning

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I hear my hot coworker say, Dating shorter guys sucks. I'm 5'5.

9yr ⋅

⋅

mfw I've been on reddit for 4 years

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW my girlfriend asks if i want to try anal

10yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I made a typo that turned me japanese this morning

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW she's got stank ass.

9yr ⋅

⋅

Mfw someone has a strong opinion on a topic he/she blatantly doesn't know shit about

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I ask my wife if I can go out with my friends.

9yr ⋅

⋅

MFW - You know you've done it

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW it's ten minutes into my show and she's still talking.

7yr ⋅

⋅

My face when people tell me I look like Justin Long

7yr ⋅

⋅

MFW I'm a retired Korean War Vet and I'm tired of these Latinos and Asians in my neighborhood.

9yr ⋅

⋅

ADVERTISEMENT