Hows does I makes my hoomans buys mees this??? I means I sees, its is mees shoulds works, buts its didn'ts appears! Halps!

5mo ⋅ ⋅

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Call 1(800)-PAWYER

9mo ⋅

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I was told this fits here, say hello to Sergeant Whiskers, the true criminal defense attorney of kitties across the globe. Call 1-800-CAT-LAWS, if your kitty needs helps!

1yr ⋅

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I've been told that my latest needle felted creation might be appreciated here. This is Mr Mittens: Attorney at Claw. Ready to fight for feline rights!

7mo ⋅

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Smol reminder frum your pawyers, it's Shut The H*ck Up Friday!

1yr ⋅

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I meow a lot. Does this mean I can be Speaker of my House? I want a Treats Appropriations Subcommittee, a Select Committee on Belly Rubs, and an oversight investigation into the vacuum cleaner.

9mo ⋅

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The unspeakables has happened! I has been awrrested! I was only using so fines it's mines, but i am being awrested! Need best pawyers immediates!

1yr ⋅

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One of my hoomins forgot me on the balcony and closed doors and went sleep. I had to be rescued by my other hoomin. Is I entitled for catpensation?

1yr ⋅

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I’s been framewed! I’s never smacked, i’s been bappeding for snacks, pawyer!

9mo ⋅

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Dumpling has been indicted, convicted, and is now in kitty jail.

6mo ⋅

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Dey Stolez My Chonks!! Pawyers and Pawlice needed! Felonious taking of my Purrrrsonal Pawpurrrty and Depriving me of My Rightful Noms

9mo ⋅

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This is SLANDER! Hooman tricked us into going inside box! Can we sue for catpensation?

6mo ⋅

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We is ilegal smols taking naps wif hooman. Oder hooman takes picture that makes a big lights, disturbing our naps! Can we su de hooman for ruin nap?

8mo ⋅

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Halp! I've been impurrsoned for exercsing my right to demands foods! I need a feline rights pawyer now!!!

10mo ⋅

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They fed me salad! Do I really have to say anything else to the Judge?

1yr ⋅

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Need Pawyer Advize AZAP! Smol hooman is floffy and gud for cuddlez, rubz.....Big hooman is lazy and uzelezz thezedayz! My bootiful home is no shelterz, So... Can meow get smol one's cuztody + evikt the big one but still hab him payz for meow foud and treatz ??

6mo ⋅

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We are a cat jury who has found our human guilty of not feeding us on time. The courts are not enforsing the fines that come with such a charge. How do we guarantre justice is served?

1yr ⋅

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When iz break?

4mo ⋅

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I need a pawyer. My hooman puts the hairless kitten in the jail every night. I went into the jail today to show the hooman how terrible it is...but now I like sleeping in the jail. Under the rules of “if I fits I sits,” can I claim the hairless kitten jail as my own?

9mo ⋅

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Know your rights!!️⚖️

6mo ⋅

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Coconut here, requesting advice re: possible legal recourse for breach of contract. My contract explicitly states that food is to be provided within 2 milliseconds of my first squeak, and my humans have yet to comply a single time. What are my legal options?

1yr ⋅

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I dunno if this been posted here before but I found on Instagram and it fits the sub.

1yr ⋅

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It has been 10 minutes ago since I was fed. I am starving and wasting away. The human posted a photo that shows I am all fur and bones. I needs food, can a pawyer get me food?

11mo ⋅

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Vase broke on its own. Hooman accuses me of breaking vase. Can pawyer help to show evidence is cirpawstantial and prove reaspawnable doubt?

1yr ⋅

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My human is trying to insult me by having me sits in a double stuff box. Can I sue for treats?

1yr ⋅

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The hoomans say I ate all the treats, but it wasn’t me. I am just a little kitty, I was framed. I wish to be compensated with more treats.

7mo ⋅

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My human is claiming I is an imposter. I is not. I is fluffy and cuddly like the toys and deserve more cuddles and pets. How do I claim my cuddles?

1yr ⋅

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I wans see Meowna Lisa before another attac attempt but Security keeps stop me. Why is they no respect “Ur pawperty? My pawperty now” law?

1yr ⋅

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Hi am white kitten. My fambly is all orange excepts me, can I gets pawyer to advice me how to take care of family business wif so many oranges around? Is lots of werk and I needs halp.

11mo ⋅

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I came to my new forever home and laid claim to bookcase w/ south window view. But today I found it illegally occupied and guarded. Orange, older male claims all home territories are his until further notice. Can I serve an eviction? Hooman lady said to work it out peacefully...

1yr ⋅

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Halps! I has beens takens overs by the VOID!!!! I thinks halfs of me is GONEZ! Cans a pawyers gets me backs froms the voids ands maybes some treats for my trawmas??? Someones tolds meow the nips would halps? Whats is nips?

1yr ⋅

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My homan is making me work, a whole hour a week, in her nursing home. I’m paid nothing but treats and cuddles. This must break minimum wage laws? What should I do, what sort of pawyer do I need (UK)

11mo ⋅

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Hooman called me orange and am clearly not orange. Sometimes I stare at da ice cube, but dey is pretty. Can I sue for defameowtion?

1yr ⋅

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After my repeated requests for a prompt 5:00 dinner service, she arrives unapologetically at 5:04. Are these grounds for termination? I have commandeered the hood of her unimpressive vehicle and await your feedback.

4mo ⋅

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My human went out to dinner but didn't bring me my dinner home. They says they didn't even place my order. Can I sue for not providing tasty foods? I want food.

10mo ⋅

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Hooman doez not abide by my authodity! I need a pawyer!

10mo ⋅

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Cat here. Brother cats locked. They are exactly same cat as me as we are all the oranges and share the same braincell. Pls help unlock cats.

1yr ⋅

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Coco here! Exactly a year ago my current hoomans signed the cattract to be meow servants furever and furever. What updrag...upgrad... meowr stuff should meow add to my cattract fur the second year as their tortilla queen?!

6mo ⋅

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I want to sue my cat for assault. If I don't wake up quickly enough in the morning he gnaws on my ear.

5mo ⋅

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Mummy came in, stinking of dog, with her arm all messed up (covered in scratches) how much trouble would I be in if I went over and bit the dog I think did it, in his stupid, unprotected, tummy. I is big, strong, boy (Uk)

1yr ⋅

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I has been awwwwrested for attempted theft. I was not stealing, I was trick or treating on halloween. Can a pawyer get me off these chargea?

11mo ⋅

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My pet human hasn't fed me in 11 mins and now my spine is broke! Help!

1yr ⋅

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Works on contingency? No, money down!

1mo ⋅

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Urgent halp needed: hooman is 'werking from home' but the amount of cuddles I receive is defelineing. I try to hint that I want pets but get called 'silly kitty.' Is this clawbook neglect? I haven't been pet in 8 or 9 minutes!

1yr ⋅

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HALP! Hooman just won't stop wit da pawpawrazzi. I can't even napzzz in peace wifout her touchin ma toebeanz. How 2 get her to STAWP !!??

10mo ⋅

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My human left for a whole week. Can I sue?

11mo ⋅

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Thannkuuuu to all ze pawyers who helpzed meow out with pawgal advice. I iz received my compawnasationz in ze legal caze this week and am verry zattisfied with ze servicezes pawffered here but meow haz no hooman meowney to pay. Can meow give cuddlez and bop bop bop as paymentz?

6mo ⋅

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I can haz restraining order to keep my new mum within 10 feet of me at all times? It's been a whole three days and she persists in leaving the house every day.

1yr ⋅

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I went in box for snack, was trap and I got taken to pokey place, what are my rights?

3mo ⋅

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For I am but a Victorian orphan kit and my human mother cares for me not. Feline mother let me nurse to my hearts content, but human mother only feeds me at meal times. I craved more milk and was denied. Where is my compensation for her heinous neglect?

6mo ⋅

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Meow human is accusing me of plotting to purder them. I is mearly considering it because of how little I has been fed. Can a pawyer cover me if it does come to that?

10mo ⋅

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Human not sharing dip while I share mouse, need legal advice for acquiring my fair share

8mo ⋅

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My hooman abandodened me to go to wurk today and it was her burth... purrthday!! I am outraged. I had lots of cuddls planned and was left alone for eleventy billion years. I need fud, treatos, and snuggls.

8mo ⋅

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Who da hekk is dis? Where da hekk am I??? I was asleeps and now I is INSIDE at da STABBY PLACE! I wants to su for mices and yummy birdies!

10mo ⋅

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Whoa, Whoa....I iz no such thingz that I iz accouzed of, I mean.... maybez I iz, but they can't find out. How can I fightz thiz?

7mo ⋅

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Meow is being hatecrimed by hooman for simply having smol snack. What can meow do?

11mo ⋅

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Help me I’ve been stuck here for years 🥺

6mo ⋅

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Hello, I'z Coco, I'z a catstruction wurker but I wants to becom a pawyer. How? Do I read a buk?

8mo ⋅

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Helps! I has been told I has to leave da box I has sat in. Can a pawyer please tell me what my rites are? Can I sews for chimkin for this? (picture for evidence of I fits I sits)

5mo ⋅

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Hello, I is Max (1m Russian Blue) My dad is missing. He go on big fake bird for 10 billion years. I hope he is ok I miss him. Can I sue for him to come back?

9mo ⋅

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Help, my sister is attempting to purrrrder me by squishing. They claims that are legally allowed to purrrrrder me under I fits I sits rights. How do I stop this purrrrrder attempt?

9mo ⋅

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My (Oliver, 4M, Orange) human (28M, not orange) put me in a pillowcase because there “was a confirmed tornado sighting nearby,” and “we have to go to the basement,” and “I can’t find your carrier and I don’t have time to look.” Do you think I could have a case here (no pun intended)?

1yr ⋅

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Meow is being illegally detained because meow tried to eat the turkey. In meow defense eating is a basic right. Please send help

10mo ⋅

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We is ilegal smols and is take naps inside soff bananas. Can pawyer tells us if we haz to pay hoomans in mews n rubs or if viewings of our toe beans is enuff?

9mo ⋅

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The pawlice are trying to figure out if I am on catnip. I am but they dont know that. I may need a pawyer if I am pulled in. Can someone repurrrsent meow?

1yr ⋅

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Godzilla cat hijacks plane, holds passengers hostages. Need negotiator and legal team

1yr ⋅

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I has beens awcused of interferings withs my hoomans sleeps. Why does theys haves too sleeps so longs? I is hungries ands the darks times is plays times! I thinks my cattract says theys has to feeds me whens I is hungries and theys is nots coawperatings! I needs a pawyers I thinks. Thanks mew!

1yr ⋅

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I'm a linguist who co-authored a seminal text in my field. However, because of rampant discrimination, I'm rarely given credit for my work. My partner, a white male, is usually listed as the sole researcher. I don't care about the money, but can I get sue to get all existing copies amended?

11mo ⋅

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My human is threatening to leave. I does not want this. They does this all the time claiming they have to work, I thinks their job is to love me. Can I make them stay home and do their job?

1yr ⋅

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Halps needed. Stoopid Hooman yells at me when I's wakes her up 35 minutes before her alarm, when I clearly needed cat fud right at that very minute. Can I sue?

4mo ⋅

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Human brought me home a new bed but put it next to the garbage. How can I force them to relocate my property? Need advice from a pawyer

1yr ⋅

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Meow Favorite Park Closed Due to too many Cat-Related Lawsuits

10mo ⋅

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Human says they needs to wash but can mew claim this water box?

8mo ⋅

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I sleeps and hoomans use itz to put cheezits on me and takes picture of me. I look ridiculous. Can I sue for compawsation?

11mo ⋅

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in case you need help

1yr ⋅

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Halp! My name is Cotton and I think I found my ballz which were illegally stolen from me! What are my legal options? I needz compensation!

8mo ⋅

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We are a class of smols attending online classes on how to catch mices. The instructor is not very good. The grey kitty never catches the mouse for long. How do we get a better instructor? We just want a better education.

1yr ⋅

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Helps! Hooman denies me treats, says he 'forgot' to buy at the store! Says I have two full bowls of kibbles! Can someone help me with this forgetful hooman?

5mo ⋅

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I threw my hooman's blahaj on the floor. Where can I find a good lawyer so I don't go to jail?

4mo ⋅

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Teh food gimver is trying to limit my's games time. Need a pawer to gets me unlimeowted gaming time.

1yr ⋅

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I was arrested because I defended myself against the vet. I was not read my right, put to trial or given access to a pawyer. This is a meowscarridge of justice.

1yr ⋅

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My human is making me ANOTHER costume. What repawcussions can I enact?

1yr ⋅

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Meow got caught stealing

1yr ⋅

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Help. My human is purrrforming experiments on me. This must be illegal. Can I sue for something?

10mo ⋅

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Human was five minutes late with my dinner and I starved to death! Lock them up!

10mo ⋅

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I tolds my hoomin to stay home and gives me cuddles dis morning, but they sez boss sez dey has to go to works? Sez boss not listen to cats? Cans I soo boss?

6mo ⋅

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I am Chester P. Wigglebottom, esteemed and handsome cat judge. I have been a judge for 5 years, over half of my life. Ask Meow Anything!

1yr ⋅

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Hi am ilegal smol, da smolice has evimdence of me while I is being vurrrrry milk drunk. Can pawyer advise me how to use mai orangeness to get off of dis charge?

1yr ⋅

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My humam stuggles to focus when I am not there so I decided to study with them.. The training cource is trying to charge us double as I am learning too. How can I help my human learn without incuring additional charges? Can we get the charges waved?

1yr ⋅

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Hallo, I am Pandora and I do FANTASTIC work on couch upholstery redesign. I'm thinking of expanding to curtains, carpets and toilet paper rolls. I need a busyness cattorney to halp set up my smol busyness- Pandora Catture Designs

5mo ⋅

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My empayer is calling me lazy but I work hard getting pets from customers. How do I avoid being sacked for doing my job?

1yr ⋅

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Can any pawyers join this meowment?

4mo ⋅

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Can pawyer advize if hooman thinks I is plants? I is cats, cannot chargez from warm sunnies like plants.

1yr ⋅

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The comments being made about me on Reddit are Totally Unfair and Illegal. The commenting system is totally rigged and run by biased Radical Left Democrats. Who can make them pay??!?

1yr ⋅

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My hoomans was hungries so broughts dem foods. I woulds eats its. Whys doesnts theys wants it? Does they thinks I steals it? Its fells under the I sees, Its mees rights, doesnts it? Is I ins troubles? Does I needs a pawyers?

1yr ⋅

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I have brought my hooman food because he cannot hunt, how do I make sure he is eating.

1yr ⋅

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Help, i am illegally cute smol who is being made even more cute in clothes. I doesnt want to be awwwrested. What are meow options?

1yr ⋅

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They dared to cut my nails on ONE paw... Am I legally allowed to shit in their shoe??!!?

8mo ⋅

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My dinner time is only 2 hours away and my human hasnt started preparing it yet. How is jt going to be ready in time? Even worse they sat down and started watching a film. Can I get a cease and desits order to make them prepare my food?

11mo ⋅

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Hi, I am scared void. Hooman sez they is foster me, oder cats says I has cattract now and has de rights and lefts but I is from da outside and don't unnerstands, can pawyer explain wut happening?

10mo ⋅

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Hooman is distracted cooking hooman foods. Not giving snoogles, can I sewes?

10mo ⋅

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Need a Pawyer, Stat! Got hijinked by hoomans thinking I wuz a fish. I iz not seafood?!?

1yr ⋅

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About to study for the Bar Exam next week, but am very sleepy... help!

1yr ⋅

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These young uns shows ups ands claims I is theres daddies. I doesnts remembers anythings! Its was the nips faults! Ands theys doesnts evens looks likes me! Ands the hoomans tolds me I was repaireds? Anyways, I thinks I needs a pawyers? Theys is cutes though.

9mo ⋅

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HELP! Hoomans have unpawfully detained me in this prison with only food, water, toys, treatos, cuddles, catnip, fuzzy blankets, nose boops and head bonks to survive. Send a pawyer right MEOW!

1yr ⋅

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I is foreign kitties and hooman tuk me to der home. What da hekk is going on, is white stuff everywhere on grounds, I want to su the hooman to get rid of it, is COLD!

10mo ⋅

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I is a victum of classist discrimination.

9mo ⋅

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My human is calling me a beached whale with no evidance. I is a kitty not a beached whale. I want treats as comeowpensation, I clearly do not get enough.

1yr ⋅

⋅

Can someone help me understand squatters rights? My tenant hasn't been paying rent and has been actively stealing my heart. How do I evict this sleepy boy?

3mo ⋅

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Just because I doesn't wants clothes, I has beens turned into a SLAVES! The hoomans is MY SLAVES. I is nots theirs!! I needs a pawyers to knocks somes senses into these sillies hoomans. Ans I wants repaw..repers... cawpensations fors the pains ands sufferings. Halps!

11mo ⋅

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What is the legal pawcess for adopting a second human? My human sometimes brings a second human into my house but they are excellent at tending to my needs. How do I adopt them?

1yr ⋅

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Robert M. Katz Esq. 2016-2023

5mo ⋅

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My hooman is withholding hams from me! I can smells them! What are my rights?

7mo ⋅

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I is deserving to be prime Meownister but hoomans keep stealing meow place! It's been 3 peoples already and they were all purrthetic! Can Queen Meowlizabeth helps me and give me the place ? I also request pets and treats for prejudice. I IS THE REAL PRIME MEOWNISTER OF ALL THE HOOMANS!

1yr ⋅

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Halps! I've been scolded for scratching the brand meow couch. Tuppy did no such things and pleads meowsence. Would any lawyer help meow get out of cat jail?

2mo ⋅

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I need a pawyer! I've been puts on furrced exercisiness!

9mo ⋅

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My Hooman made me move from my comfy bed so her mini bipeds could brush their teefs. Can I sue for emotional distress?

11mo ⋅

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Any pawyer to take my case?

1yr ⋅

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Help! It wasn't me!! CHECK THE DOGHOUSE.

8mo ⋅

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I was visiting my BFF next door and I saw her human give her pets. Is her human obliged to let me in, let me rest and give me pets?

1yr ⋅

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My human refuses to feed me first breakfast and insists that I wait for when second breakfast should be served. Can I get a cpurt order to get my correct meals?

1yr ⋅

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Halps! I has discovered something heinous! Hoomans is behind red dot! All the time purrtecting meow home from evil bug WASTED cause hoomans was pranking meow and mocking meow talents! Need pawyer to soo for emeowtional damage and wasting kitty time with real evil pests out heres!

9mo ⋅

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Mum, I feel you haven’t quite understood- you work for me. Please read your contract on feeding times, snacks and cuddles.

1yr ⋅

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Pwease help, I'm being accused of fraud!

1yr ⋅

⋅

Human posts me for updoots! Can I sue for image rights and copywrite and stuffs? My eyes are not your karma factories!

9mo ⋅

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My human took me to the VET because they thought I was a chonker. The VET said I was in excellent heath but my human is still restricting my food and treats. They says I need a diet. Can a pawyer help me?

8mo ⋅

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Hi am ilegal smol Emmylou. Hooman sez we r catburglar your hearts, is not troo! Am GUD kitty, I nots steal anyfing! Need pawyer rite now!

5mo ⋅

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Halp! I've been framed.

9mo ⋅

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My hooman ate a banana and refused to share with me! Can I sue for compensation to have a whole banana to myself?!

1yr ⋅

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I has beens awcused of stealings chikkins froms the counters. I understoods I sees, Its mees! So fines, It's mines! Yous donts looks, I cans tooks! Plus I owns the houses ands everythings ins its. Rights??? I needs a pawyers to explains this to the hoomans. Thanks. Pays is ins chikkins.

1yr ⋅

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Human hurt my paw, what can I claim for?

9mo ⋅

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I have been tucked in ready for my naptime story. My human is late and is refusing to read my favourite story: The very hungry cat. Can I sue for them not reading it to me? They also says it is not about how they don't feed me; despite this being true.

1yr ⋅

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I is not Arson I is not Burger. Need Pawyer help and Purralegal advice for committing Awwwsault

8mo ⋅

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I discovered this nice station to look at things. Mom says the kids want to have diner here but I was first. I feel violated and need to know if I’m in my rights. Also, I now want diner here. Do I need a pawyer?

3mo ⋅

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My human is claiming that I no longer fits on the kitten tree. This implied I no longer can sits. I clearly fits on the cat tree; can I sue for trying to take my I fits, I sits away from me?

1yr ⋅

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I think I am spoiling my human. I let them live in my house and even bring home dinner but they seem ungrateful. No extra treats. No extra pets. Nothing. How can I get them to pull their weight? Should I get pawyers involved?

11mo ⋅

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Help!!! We are but two simple oranges who are being accused of violance. We are not violant. The black cat in the tub told us that the orange brain cell was trapped in the paper and we would need to broke it out. We were only trying to save the brain cell. Can a pawyer tell us what we did wrong?

11mo ⋅

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Halp!!! Fierce clawyer needed. Pawment in cold raw fish.

7mo ⋅

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HALPS!! Mean Old Muzzer strikes again. She sez No More Wakey At 4:30 in the meowning for cat fud. So I wakes her up at Two Firty instead, and she yell! And no cat fud until SEVEN!

3mo ⋅

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I came in for a tire change and now I’m being sued...

1yr ⋅

⋅

Hooman only gav me one dingle ball, I want to su for not giv enuff toys, mebbe for more scritches an treets, can pawyer advise

1yr ⋅

⋅

Hello everyone. I am Morty, and am here to help with treat related claims. I have my Purris Doctor.

9mo ⋅

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I'm heckin tough but they don't believes me. Maybe they believes my pawyer when I sues them for slanders.

1yr ⋅

⋅

The hoomans are trying to SILENCE me! I has rights to sing and express meowself! Need pawyer immediate!!

11mo ⋅

⋅

I need a pawyer! I been testing trap for hooman but had no compawsation. Hooman is slander.. slaw.. saying bad things!!

10mo ⋅

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I tried to comandeer the chimkin under I Sees It's Mees and it has been DENIEDS?!?! is chimkin exempt from I Sees it's Mees? Hooman says I has medical conditions

1yr ⋅

⋅

I recently adopted a human and now own their house. They seen to think they owns meow. How do I get them to undestand who owns who? Do I need to file any legal pawperwork?

1yr ⋅

⋅

I was prawcticings my I fits, I sits rights ands I losts my legs!!! I thinks theys were eated bys a fishes!!! Ifs I uses my tails, wills I bees ables tickles his tummies so hes let's me goes? Cans a pawyers yells ats hims??? Its almosts seconds lunch times!!!

9mo ⋅

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The hoomans cawghts me flyings! I has successfullies hided it fors years! Or maybes days. Buts nows I will looses my privawcies. Ands theys wills knows I is froms Kryptons. Hows does I stawps this spreadings? Halps!

1yr ⋅

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