Someone forgot to screw on the bottom of the blender.
Families be like:
i wanna die
Biig oof in the chat
Guess wich one I put on my pancakes fml
Propane explosion in my parents new house.
I feel real bad for this dude
Well My Life Sucks Today
Arm accidentally pressed space bar while the final course test popped up and all questions were skipped in a fraction of a second. I now have to retake the entire course.
Friend came over to play Mario Kart. I was first place, but still lost.
Italian, currently quarantined due to Coronavirus. My only source of natural light:
I guess I have to go back
Been waiting a week for this. I got there one minute late.
She doesn't mind... FML
Welp, guess I’m single.
I snapped one of my crowns off...
Her: *sends cute photo* Me:
Left my xbox down stairs with my girlfriends little sisters and niece.
Locked myself outside the house and my parents are scolding me through a doorbell like a motherfucker
Me: I hit a patch of ice and went off the highway and rolled it. Insurance: You don't have collision coverage just comprehensive. Me: I didn't hit anyone else. Insurance: You collided with ice. You're not covered. Me: FML
There was a spider on my windshield, I smashed it. FML
Told my crush I like her... Welp, FML
Been in Uni for couple of months, half way through parents told me the cats knocked over the Tv but it was okay and just fell on the carpet. Went home today, planned to start watching all the Marvel movies to Prepare for endgame, Turned on TV and see this
My friend found my reddit and is currently stalking me. Ho, if you’re seeing this, I don’t like you.
Dildo in a washing machine at the laundromat. Yep. My girlfriend asked me to take it after vacation so her parents didn’t find it. Threw contents of suitcase In machine...everyone heard and saw the bright pink dildo. After the cycle stopped, it turned on rattling the steel inside even louder.
Left my airpods at a car show
I love my laptop battery
Laptop battery exploded. Greeeaatttt.
This evening, my son left the bathtub running and got distracted by the television. My apartment is flooded and I'm supposed to be on bed rest thank to a stomach virus. FML
this is the worst haircut i’ve ever gotten...fml
7am start. Night shift left me this...
I tried to wipe my monitor, it fell on my laptop. Here is the result.
Yeah, I could have started it earlier... FML
I found this gem on instagram
When you leave your reeses mini in a hot car. Fml lol
Nobody ever taught me how to properly shave my legs so now my legs are entirely razorburned. Fml. (Convo w my boyfriend)
I accidentally deleted 2 years worth of progress in GTA: Vice City and I dont know if it's possible to get it back. FML
I spilt hot cocoa all over my pants before an important meeting
I bought a Switch and this game from Target and there was no game inside, just a folded piece of paper in its place. Wtf.
My brother spilled thousands of tiny, razor sharp tacks in the doorway of a carpeted bedroom floor
My only pair of headphones I had on the trip
Amazon sold me a returned product and didn’t bother to inspect it
This happened about 2 minutes before I had to leave the house. FML
Got into an accident on Christmas Eve and can't afford my deductible
Totally thought this was bathroom spray
I posted this on r/memes and the bots removed it for low karma FML
Looks like I’m staying.
True and ongoing story. RIP me.
All I wanted was a cup of coffee... guess I need to pick up sugar tomorrow FML
Drove 40 miles to the only Krispy Kreme in my country to bring back a present for my family, only to find out all 24 of my donuts were crawling with ants the next morning. I’m on the verge of tears here. That shit was expensive too.
Dropped my phone on my face today.
Don't even need a caption
My sister took my mom’s phone. After I took this picture with my mom, she told me my sister was right.
Guess Who woke up with a collapsed lunge yesterday.
Was on my way to a job interview and this shit happens! Hit and run too, I hate people! FML!
Almost exactly 1 year ago this window blew open and shattered. Insurance wouldn’t cover it so paid 500€ to get it fixed. Today it happened again... FML...
While in the middle of a project...
I got it fixed
Holy shit, the house could've burned down.
Accidently hit the rack with the lift.
As soon as I need it to blow off steam
Didn’t have enough hands today. Fuck.
A good boi passed away today at 11 years old. RIP Troy. You will be missed
When I asked if the mom would like a plate for the baby's spaghetti, she said Would you rather clean up a broken plate?
Laying bed, and my cat decides to dart across my bald head. I wonder if anyone will notice at work tommorow. (I work in an office with 100s of people)
“Get bangs” they said “you’ll look cute” they said...
Story of my life
The holidays are over so of course my car battery dies 😢😂 only had to wait 10mins for the helpful AA man but he said when I get home my car probably won't start again until a new battery is fitted!! Christmas has already drained my bank account so thank you, you sliver metal rat
I think this one is obvious
Not a single sip taken...
Have to be at the airport in an hour
Never drive with a 9 year old holding a spray gun
Are you kidding me right now?
Rented a $1200 camera lens yesterday. I have a photo shoot in 17 hours. My 3 year old said “she didn’t want it in her way,” and tossed it. FML.
I just finished Mario & Luigi partners in time, and the fucking game crashed on me. FML
My organic chem professor telling us about our exam on friday.
Phone fell out of my pocket. Had a case one but guess it wasn’t enough.
This was my last poptart and it got burnt.
So I got my DNA tested. Nothing new. FML
When it's your 1st cake day but cant actually afford a cake...poor man's chili dogs
There was a spider above my bed....kill NOT confirmed btw
My toothbrush is blue...my brother’s is Purple. Used his brush. He has strep-throat......FML
Woke to up to my glasses destroyed by my fucking dog
Hit a curb that sticks out further than the rest because of the sunlight in my eyes, popped both left tires, now I'm stuck in a loud construction area and I can't get to work. In the time I've been here I've seen 3 other people hit it, one of which that I know of also has a popped tire
Welp. My mom just found my old vibrator.
The millenial man
I’m kind of devastated not gonna lie ):
Opened the shower door too hard and it hit the sink
There goes the damn tenders
Hi everyone! Let me introduce croachtail to you 👍
Best way to clean dog shit out of a Roomba? Wait till you see the carpet...
I knew liquid cooling was a bad idea. Came home to a tube separated from my water cooling which had sprayed all over the insides of my $1,000+ PC.
This happened once before with a fly too...
This happened to my phone and it won’t work now FML
Wants to quit drinking myself to sleep and I order a bottle Valerian Root online....
Ripped (almost) perfectly
A “friend” put a kiwi in my backpack and I don’t know who
I woke up at 4. Couldn't get back to sleep because of stress. Around 6 am, I told myself that if I can't sleep, I might as well buy myself a coffee for a change an get work early. Just as I unlock my office door...
Nail clippers snapped in my hand cutting my toenails. My self esteem has never been lower.
It's just a banana but my teacher gave me detention. I didn't even notice it. This was on my way home.
AHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHH
Compact ice can kiss my ass
Blender shattered. Took a long time to clean up all the little pieces of glass.
I sat on the remote today.
My usb cable broke into the port.
My last slice of cheese!!
Excited for field day
I was tired.
Does anyone know the pain I am in rn
I just wanted some wine...
Checking headlines on my lunch break and FML is all I could think of
yeah just my luck
My teacher wanted to talk about my “SelF HaRm” my 3 month old dog just bites a lot... FML
Looking for my missing cat after a storm.
I almost died today and it turns out tomorrow will be even worse. FML
Cat kept waking my gf up last night
Came home to this I literally have no idea what happened it was fine yesterday. tried restarting and doing automatic repair but that failed so gotta reset windows thankfully it gave me the option to keep al my personal files so... yeah... FML
Happened tonight 2/4/20 ~9:30 pm not currently sure how I'm going to get it fixed/replaced. Also new phone screen busted. FML
nearly 7 min unskippable ad (i left to do something and came back a bit later thats why its so long through the ad)
I guess it has been a while... expired January... last year.
Ripped my pants at school today...
This is the cable that connects my laptop io ports, it melted when I plugged it in. It costs £43 for a new one.
My melted ice block accidentally dropped on the floor 😭😭😭
Thought I got a nice big passion fruit until...
Got on front page for 40 minutes then r/softwaregore removed my post
So that's a thing.
And i thought the burnt socket in my house was bad...
Got done combing my hair and put the comb on the sink. It fell into the crack. There's a wall on the other side of the sink. I cant get it back. FML.
I always make a good first impression
I had an oral test in English and the teacher asked me about social networks, i told her about Reddit and the first subreddit she opens is r/TwoXChromosomes. FML
So my organized markers fell over and I'm just done....
My ice cream dropped
After being totally deaf in one ear for nearly a month trying to find a specialist, this was pulled out from deep within my inner right ear today
Life lessons to remember: Two things you never buy on the cheap - packing tape and “heavy duty” garbage bags
Got my car stolen in milwaukee awesome dont come here. Dm me if youre superman and find the mf