2282 best r/divorcedbirds images on Pholder | Doris was so nervous and upset, her hair fell out. With distance from her ex-husband, perhaps she will recover both her peace of mind and her hair. Take deep breaths, Doris.

Doris was so nervous and upset, her hair fell out. With distance from her ex-husband, perhaps she will recover both her peace of mind and her hair. Take deep breaths, Doris.

1yr ⋅ ⋅

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Recently divorced from his high-school sweetheart, Eddie didn't realise that it was no longer appropriate to steal a kiss - even if it was just a peck on the cheek. Consent is everything.

4yr ⋅

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After her second divorce Susan decided she needed to jump back into the dating game rather sooner than later. She went all in. Freshly dyed hair, fake contacts, she felt fierce. She even bought a new pair of leggings!

3yr ⋅

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Phillip's wife from the 80's had dug his Mohawk, his wife from the 2000's had loved his Fauxhawk...when wife v2.0 first met him, she had gushed, You look *vaguely* like David Beckham's (very fraternal) twin!...Would the future ex Mrs. Puffster be into the 'Nohawk'? It was 'Our Time' to find out.

3yr ⋅

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Phyllis decided that after 3 divorces and one husband in the ground, she’s going to spend her money at the country club to sit and look at the pool boys.

2yr ⋅

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Care for a night cap? Loretta chirped to her revenge fling as she fluttered into her husband's townhouse, still seductively sucking on the berry. But when she saw that Henry's possessions were gone, her heart sank. What good is cheating on a cheater if he had already left her for his mistress?

4yr ⋅

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Garry didn’t care that the judge gave him 20 years in the clink for double homicide, arson, and destruction of property. The point is, Carolyn and her new boy toy burned along with the house that she got with the divorce, he would never pay alimony again, and his inner demons were finally at rest.

4yr ⋅

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Stepping out onto the runway, Kira had never felt so free. Phil had jealously hidden her away for so long but now nothing could cage her

1yr ⋅

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It had been three weeks since David came home to a note on the kitchen counter. He had so many questions but Ellen refused to speak to him and would only communicate through lawyers. He just wanted everything to go back to how it was.

4yr ⋅

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Did it work? Did this baby save our marriage? No. It definitely made things much worse. I will never forgive you for making me birth this screaming leech. Well, I'm not taking it. Let's just put a Free sign on it and put it by the mailbox.

1yr ⋅

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When Frankie found out that his wife of ten years was cheating on him, he knew he had to make a change. But unlike most people who might seek therapy or try to win their spouse back, Frankie decided to change his hairstyle.

1yr ⋅

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Svetlana hadn't been in the mood to wear make up ever since Klaus left her for a younger woman. But it was bingo night at the community center so she took a chance with a smokey-eye YouTube tutorial and stepped out of her comfort zone.

4yr ⋅

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George had gone off the rails after the divorce. He had been seeking bigger and riskier thrills after Running with the Bulls in Spain had left him unsatsified. Daredevil's Dining with Shamu did not dissapoint.

1yr ⋅

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Bradley couldn’t decide which was worse-the brutal divorce or the fact that he was now forced to yell for a towel while he sat naked, cold, and wet in his parent’s guest bathroom. The one thing Sam couldn’t take was my good hair he thought - silver linings.

3yr ⋅

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The hat allowed Gia to go stealth, so she spyed on her ex and his new GF; saw him gaze into her eyes, gently kiss her wing, give her the last tater tot, and it hit Gia...that's what he looks like when he's truly in love. I'll take 12 orders of jalapeno poppers to go, she squawked to the waitress.

4yr ⋅

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Erica just back from the hairdresser after alimony went through

1yr ⋅

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“Showered and ready for date night” he thought to himself in the mirror.

2yr ⋅

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After the divorce settlement didnt go her way, Roberta had to start cutting back, which meant cutting her boys hair at home. Her kids complained about the bowl cuts but at least they had food on the table.

5yr ⋅

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After her first failed marriage, Zia realized that she needed to make a change. No more veganism/feminism/tattoo-ism. She would be the perfect 1950's housewife. Yet even with her newfound hyper feminine demeanor and napkin folding skills, her new husband was always 'staying late at work' 👀...

4yr ⋅

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Queen Crizalis, ruler of the City of ice, leader of Diamond Army, the ruthless, the lioness of the blizzard! ... (and owner of a lonely heart).

3yr ⋅

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Phyllis Doesn’t Need A Man To Raise Cletus and Barney

4yr ⋅

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Suzy's friends were worried about her mental state when she took to dying her hair blue with red streaks, and wearing very bold colored clothing, but she assured them she was just doing fine.

1yr ⋅

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“After my third husband passed,” Gladys cooed, “I’d lost the desire to marry. Now be a little starling and fetch my Lamborghini.”

4yr ⋅

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After Heather's affair with that wretched golden eagle, Harold decided it was time to try online dating. He picked his favourite picture and thought, I am bald, I am handsome, I am kind. I have a lot to give and I am worthy of love. He clicked post and crossed his talons.

1yr ⋅

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after calvin realized susan wasn't coming back, he opted for a complete change in lifestyle. his writings have changed radically since the event and have shifted towards a more spiritual meaning.

4yr ⋅

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At 31 Jason was too young to be a divorcee. Brie was crazy and had really taken him for a ride, like the sensitive, sucker that he was. He was going to take just one more quiet morning for himself and then he'd be ready, ready to get back out there.

3yr ⋅

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No I didn't get 3 ml of Restalyne injected into my cheeks in a vain attempt to recapture my youth why would you even ask haha....It's not obvious though, is it?

3yr ⋅

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Upon being scolded for bringing Luke back an hour late, Dan finally snapped. “You want me to apologize? Fine. Im *SORRY* I was having a nice time with my son. Im *SORRY* he cant stand living in this nest with you. And Im *SORRY* that *I* WASNT THE ONE WHO COULDNT KEEP IT IN THEIR PANTS FOR A WEEK!”

4yr ⋅

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Sure, she can’t stop Kyle from leaving her for his side-chick, but she can stop this perky little waitress from having a good goddamn day. “I’D LIKE TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

4yr ⋅

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Glenda told Ganderson she was tired of him being a policebirb, as she wanted him to make more money. She told him to choose: It's either the Force or me! Ganderson was secretly happy she gave the ultimatum - he's finally rid of her and can continue to Protect and Serve

2yr ⋅

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Sharron pretends to be mournful at the crime scene. She wonders if she’s made a mistake, but when she flashes back to Shawn in bed with her best friend, she feels no remorse.

5yr ⋅

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They're all the same, Eric! Cried Bruce as he turned back to sulk. Get me a drink... (credit in watermark)

3yr ⋅

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Let him yell, Janice thought, looking away in disdain. I'm a free woman now, I don't have to care what that jackass thinks any more!

4yr ⋅

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Kathy's new haircut and professional photoshoot was worth every penny.

5yr ⋅

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THIS. IS. IT. Sharon is tired of waiting for Allan to pick up the kids, if he can’t be bothered to spend time with them, she’s filing for full custody!

5yr ⋅

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After lying, gold digger, wife number 3, Tom was done with bird women. He was dating squirrels only from now on. Yes, they also only wanted him for his money, but they were direct about it. Tom could handle that.

2yr ⋅

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and I'll have THAT too Dave is always taking parts of Sarah's identity, she doesn't know how much more of this she can take

5yr ⋅

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And here we see the elusive bitter ex-wife, spending her days crying in public about how love is dead and Valentine's Day should be abolished. This is why he left you, Fiona, get your shit together.

2yr ⋅

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Joan had been born a Widow bird, but she was determined to not be one. I'll divorce 'em before I let 'em die! But as long as Joan's type was men aged 65+ who thought that bacon was a fruit and cardio was a sternly furrowed brow, Dan the life insurance agent would be the #1 contact in her phone.

3yr ⋅

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Cariss was quite pudgy for her size, and flushed with embarrassment every time that she noticed the opposite sex giving her looks

1yr ⋅

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Janet had enough of Philip’s philandering and decided to give him a piece of her mind before finally leaving for good.

3yr ⋅

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Mr Darcy strode into the room, confident Eliza Bennet would accept his proposal. How could she not with his superior situation?

2yr ⋅

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It was not the most orthodox arrangement but for Susan, Alex and Marvin - it worked just fine..

2yr ⋅

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The pain was just too strong. After 20 years of what he thought was pure happiness, Arnold was devastated to hear that Caroline was leaving him for another bird.

4yr ⋅

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“I! I WILL SURVIIIIIIIVE!” Marilyn wailed into the microphone. Devin had always mocked her karaoke skills, but she was three vodka tonics deep, and the lyrics had never spoken to her more.

4yr ⋅

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After a trip to the hair salon, Margo donned her favourite red lippy, & her favourite green dress. 'Singles night with the girls, here I come!' she thought, excitedly.

3yr ⋅

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Yes! It WAS an emergency! Karen’s dark roots were showing, she’d been doing her own nails, and she’d put on some seed weight, during quarantine. Why didn’t selfish Bill understand that she HAD to go out. Eensy meensy little trips to the gym and salon would not affect his cancer treatment.

4yr ⋅

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Dunno if this is allowed... but Ron did not handle the split well...

4yr ⋅

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I will warn you once and with civility, Reginald: If I find out your new hussy has picked up my children from school One more time I am going to snap like a dry twig.

4yr ⋅

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‘The diet is working’, thought Francine. ‘My legs have never looked better. ‘ She had been depriving herself of meals to show Ted that no matter how many younger chicks he got, he would never replace her. Also, she wanted custody of the hair dryer and their shared collection of rare hairsprays.

4yr ⋅

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Jenna couldn’t stand one more pert little remark like “you’re looking like a plump strawberry today!” from her (soon to be ex) wife. She was sick of fulfilling the “mean lesbian wives” trope when she knew she could find a sweet, soft relationship where she wasn’t constantly being criticized.

4yr ⋅

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Their marriage counsellor had told Tim to try walking a mile in Heather’s shoes. But it hadn’t worked. Hers were four sizes too big.

2yr ⋅

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My ex wife still misses me. But her aim is getting better. But her aim is getting better! BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!

2yr ⋅

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Ever since Darrell left last year, Margery had been sleeping with the landlord every month to pay the rent. She had the money. She just wanted to feel like someone still wanted her.

2yr ⋅

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She lost the house, but she didn't loose custody. As long as I keep my loved ones close, I will get through this! Miranada convinced herself.

4yr ⋅

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Tired of the constant verbal harassment from Paul, with degrading nicknames like “feathered football”, Molly mustered up the courage to finally divorce him.

2yr ⋅

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Jerry was nervous but eager to go on his first date in 20 years

3yr ⋅

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Jim always told Maureen that she smelled a bit fishy. Well, six years into a sexless marriage, she finally broke free and found herself a REAL man.

4yr ⋅

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Jonathan was tired of conforming to gender constructs that stopped him from expressing himself, he was going to wear that fiery orange eyeshadow and no one could stop him!

5yr ⋅

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“So it’s true,” Mary said tearfully as she read the emails detailing Ted’s adulterous adventures with his secretary.

5yr ⋅

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Patsy heard from BFF Sally that her ex, Gary, was planning a surprise visit today. No doubt to ask Patsy for some money since Sally saw on Gary's socials that his latest crowd funding project failed. Worried for her BFF Sally joined Patsy on the porch, wearing their games faces, waiting for Gary.

3yr ⋅

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For just one day Gina wasn’t going to think about her ex, or the chicks, or the chick support. This spa day was going to be about HER.

4yr ⋅

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What do you mean my hot new hairdo won’t make Brenda come back?

4yr ⋅

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Overworked and underpaid, Devin didn’t have the time to find love once again. He only had time for the bottle. “Look at you, you sack of shit.” He said as he walked into the bar restroom and caught glimpse of what he had become.

4yr ⋅

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Amelia was back in the club after her recent separation and breaking out her favorite moves from the 00s: look back at it and shake ya tailfeather

2yr ⋅

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DON'T LIE TO ME, HAROLD! I SAW YOUR PHONE MESSAGES! YOUR WHORE WANTS TO KNOW IF THAI IS OK FOR DINNER! IS IT, HAROLD?! IS IT?!

2yr ⋅

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Klinger from M*A*S*H has entered the subreddit with his amazing schnoz and his beautiful woman's cloak/clothing.

1yr ⋅

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As Mallory gathered her skirts and flounced away, Woodrow looked on in surprise, frozen by the bitter truth of her parting words: It takes two people to destroy a marriage, Sir, but just one moment to end it forever.

4yr ⋅

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Abigail visited the salon for a pick me up after Jake moved the rest of his shit out.

3yr ⋅

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Jennifer thought she knew what she was signing up for when she agreed to love John's stepson as her own. Were my kids this hungry when they were babies? Or am I just getting older? she sighs. WHY couldn't John ever do the cooking?

11mo ⋅

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Twice divorced single mom

2yr ⋅

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Tanya knew she had been eating her feelings since Tony left, but looking in the mirror she knew it was time to get her life back.

1yr ⋅

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Sylvia knew that it was finally time to put herself out there and date again. With a tasteful touch of blush and a berry lip gloss, she headed to the singles mixer.

5yr ⋅

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Lucy knew that her sisters were just trying to show her a wild time for her bachelorette party, but peep shows just reminded her of her first husband Dale.

2yr ⋅

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Birds who look like they're twice-divorced

4yr ⋅

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Teresa heard that taking a Latin Lover after her divorce would spice things up. Wow! Did it ever!

11mo ⋅

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Gary was alone. For the first time in ages, he was actually alone. He had no idea how he was supposed to feel. Because instead of feeling sadness or yearning, Gary was surprised to find peace. After all, being alone and being lonely are two completely different things.

5yr ⋅

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Mortimer was well loved as the friendly neighbourhood storekeep with the reasonable prices, but what he really wanted was to see his ex-wife and children again.

5yr ⋅

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I never thought for a second I'd end up divorced. I have no idea what to do with my life now or what my future will look like. Whelp, I suppose this is as good a time as I'm ever going to have to try smoking crack.

1yr ⋅

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Beatrice remained calm during Barney's non-stop drunken screaming. This time she had a plan. Her new life with her new mate is all set up. She had enough of his shit, he just didn't know it yet.

5yr ⋅

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Discouraged by her bad luck in love, Jeanine turns to the healing power of crystals, tarot cards and “me time.”

5yr ⋅

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She finally did it. Marge left that cheating Stanley. She's always been a little shy about her looks, but she's freshly preened and, shockingly, feeling so fancy she can't help but admire herself. Tonight she'll be down at the local watering hole, shaking her tail feathers.

4yr ⋅

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Sam wouldn't accept Betsy leaving him, and took matters into his own wings. The air patrol rescued her, and Sam is now behind bars.

1yr ⋅

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“Stand a little to the left... tilt your head a bit. Yeah, right there, that’s perfect-“ The photographer Harper hired was demanding, but in the end, as she sifted through the dozens of photos, she found it was worth it. “See how Jeremy likes me now,” she thought as she posted them all on Facebook.

4yr ⋅

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Desperate to get Frank back, Thelma went to extreme measures to get his attention.

2yr ⋅

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Mitch couldn’t believe Carla left him for a turkey vulture. He puffed up his last head feather and walked into the singles mixer at the 55+ community clubhouse, ready to move on.

3yr ⋅

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JAAAAAAAZZ HAAAAAAANDS! Ha ha ha ha oh my g-ness, Dave hadn’t had this much fun since Stanley left him for a young spring chicken. He deserves this happiness and he finally knows it!

3yr ⋅

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You went to the pharmacy this afternoon? Then why the hell didn't you pick up my Lexapro? Because I hate you and I want you to die! It doesn't keep me alive. It lets me tolerate your fucking bullshit!

1yr ⋅

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As a priest, it is my moral duty to do whatever it takes to help a couple make their marriage work. Because that is the will of God. So please understand how significant it is that I don't think the two of you should ever be in the same room together ever again, much less stay married.

11mo ⋅

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After Grace moved out Kevin realised his true self, he was The Yellow Lantern

3yr ⋅

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Dude. Fritz. There are other birds in the sky.

8mo ⋅

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1yr ⋅

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He’s happy to answer any questions you have, except those about his numerous dead ex-wives.

5yr ⋅

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After more bad dates than she could count Janice had decided maybe her type wasn't right for her. Dale had made his approach at just the right time!

1yr ⋅

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Alfonzo didn't take the divorce too well. He misses the married life. He had the great idea to go out tonight to search for a new chick. I really hope the girls are into moustaches. he thought, walking into the club.

4yr ⋅

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Shannon had always put her family first, but now that her kids are grown up and she divorced her deadbeat cheating husband, she decided to take center stage.

5yr ⋅

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Jessica is single and ready to mingle at the Charity Gala and looking for her next ex.

5yr ⋅

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Agatha was never comfortable after her goth phase. Now free to become a creature of the night again, she flew straight back into the wings of her high school boyfriend, Edgar.

1yr ⋅

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4yr ⋅

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When Edna left Bob decided it was time revisit his hippy years. Drugs and free love didn't feel the same this time around though.

1yr ⋅

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Just caught my divorce lawyer talking smack about my family and made fun of settling visitation of our sweet baby chick on social media. I'm reporting him to the Bar for being unethical. That's it, no more human lawyers. It's the Legal Eagles firm for me from now on.

3yr ⋅

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My Divorced Bird Story! Robert the Rooster failed to find love in the coop and even endured some physical violence. He was removed for his own safety and formed an abiding friendship with Archibald the French Bulldog. They lived happily ever after.

1yr ⋅

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Samantha knew her ex-husband would be at this party. She was ready to give him this fierce and unapologetic glance she had been rehearsing in front of her mirror for the past few weeks.

5yr ⋅

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The papers were signed, and Melania left the lawyers office with a spring in her step...

5yr ⋅

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After Harry left Beatrix, she was feeling a bit down. Her friend suggested a makeover at the MAC counter. It did not goes as planned, nevertheless, she put a smile on, and stepped out of the store, into the sun with a new sense of confidence.

4yr ⋅

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Jim never explicitly said he was divorcing her, but that's the vibe Sue got when he said, if she's too fat to fly, he's migrating without her this year. Nothing for her to do now but wait for the cats to come.

2yr ⋅

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Good riddance, Ernest said as he took another puff. Gertrude had given him the ultimatum between her and the cigarettes. Ernest wasn't giving up his 2 pack-a-day habit easily.

4yr ⋅

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Clothilde was a tolerant woman. But to come back from the salon, all done up with a new do, new makeup, even eye lash extensions, to find her best friend absolutely FAWNING over her husband? She pursed up her lips but she already had a plan..and it won’t be pretty..

1yr ⋅

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The authority is looking for the husband and wife duo a.k.a 'The Finches', suspected of robbing a seed bank. They were seen last seen arguing in the local branch of Bird Bath and Beyond.

2yr ⋅

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Doris couldn’t believe she was hearing those words come out of Frank’s mouth. It was at this moment that she made her decision. This was HER life and goddammit she’s going to live it how she wants it and right now......she wants it without Frank.

4yr ⋅

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Told I should post here. Didn’t know this existed. Glorious

5yr ⋅

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Andrew hadn’t been out socially in months, but finally gathered the courage to style his hair and wear a daring new mask to the singles’ costume ball.

1yr ⋅

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After the dust had settled, Roger realized that he had probably meant very little to Chloe. He was just a small part on her path to true happiness; just a speed bump on her life's road, just a goose bump in her heart.

4yr ⋅

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Through her hot tears, her red-rimmed and puffy eyes, Betsy felt a new determination to kick Otis to the curb for good. Never again would she be green with envy over those trollops he sauntered away with!

5yr ⋅

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Halfway through the Kenny Chesney concert, Tanner realizes he just can't be with Jess any longer. Maybe she'll topple backwards off his shoulders tonight & he can go home in peace skipping another drunk argument in a gravel parking lot & listening to her cry the whole way home

2yr ⋅

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I'm just an owl who's intentions are good.

1yr ⋅

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After the photos of his arrest were posted on the sheriff department’s Facebook page, Rob’s wife was so humiliated she left him.

9mo ⋅

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“My what a lovely ball it’ll be” Sheryl said, joining her best friend Tracy. This is her first night going out after Sheryl divorced her secretary-snogging husband. Now it was time for her to show off those tail feathers of hers.

4yr ⋅

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